When Did This All Happen?

I sit and think, “How did we get here?”…. I’m 21 now, my dad, 79 was diagnosed with LBD about 8 years ago. It started off with missing a step here and there, losing direction, forgetting a name – but then again that happens to everyone, doesn’t it?

He was my daddy, I was always his ‘big girl’ even though I was his last born but as the years grew by things started changing…

I don’t even know how I missed it all, now that I think about it – the past 8 years have been somewhat a blur.

The strong, educated man I knew to be my daddy can no longer construct a sentence, he’s grown to be angry and violent. He’s large physique has transformed into a thin stooped over old man. That skin that had a permanent glow is now greyed out and a prominent feature are his eyes – those beautiful eyes had so much emotion behind them but now I look in them and see nothing…a blackness….a void…

Its hard, he’s angry, I’m angry…I don’t remember what it’s like to call someone daddy. So many questions…yet no answers…Does it ever get better? Will the pain ever leave me? Does anyone else know what I’m going through?

LBD is an evil disease, I would never wish it on anyone, so many people point fingers, laugh, judge but they don’t know what I do, what we do..


May 17, 2011