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 Hidden Feelings 
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Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:32 am
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Post Hidden Feelings
My wife, Karen, is a Type-A personality. Has been since the day I met her the first week of high school. I like to get things done but I'm nowhere near being in her class. I've always said she has two speeds, full out and dead stop, nothing in between, no compromise. This philosophy translates into the way she drives. We rush away from stops, accelerate right up to obstacles then stomp the brakes to slow enough to navigate the object of her ire and off we go again. When I became legally blind many years ago and had to give up driving I had serious doubts that our marriage could survive the transition to her being the full time driver. But we overcame and I basically never notice anymore. Until recently. That is why I bore you with all this.

Over the past several weeks I have noticed that the jack rabbit starts and stop on a dime endings were really starting to bother me. And I couldn't figure out why. It was nothing new. Nothing to get upset about. Nothing she was doing wrong. As a matter of fact, I was just grateful that she so willingly hauled my butt all over creation.

Then, slowly, it began to dawn on me. Subconsciously, I was seeing the rushing, speeding, careening style of driving as a metaphor for the current state of my life. I saw it as us heading headlong, fast forward, toward the inevitable. Toward that which I have little control over. Toward the final, bitter end. I know it's coming but I have no desire to speed my way there. I would like to enjoy the journey that we have left as much as possible. I realized that I am beginning to wish to be able to slow things down, to regain some control.

This was a huge surprise to me. I had no idea this was hiding in my twisted little mind. Funny how something you're so used to and take for granted everyday, such as your wife's driving, can bring you to the realization of your true feelings. Anyway, that's been my major revelation for the week. Yours.....

Randy


Wed May 31, 2017 11:54 am
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Joined: Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:36 am
Posts: 135
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Post Re: Hidden Feelings
Poppygail wrote:
My wife, Karen, is a Type-A personality. Has been since the day I met her the first week of high school. I like to get things done but I'm nowhere near being in her class. I've always said she has two speeds, full out and dead stop, nothing in between, no compromise. This philosophy translates into the way she drives. We rush away from stops, accelerate right up to obstacles then stomp the brakes to slow enough to navigate the object of her ire and off we go again. When I became legally blind many years ago and had to give up driving I had serious doubts that our marriage could survive the transition to her being the full time driver. But we overcame and I basically never notice anymore. Until recently. That is why I bore you with all this.

Over the past several weeks I have noticed that the jack rabbit starts and stop on a dime endings were really starting to bother me. And I couldn't figure out why. It was nothing new. Nothing to get upset about. Nothing she was doing wrong. As a matter of fact, I was just grateful that she so willingly hauled my butt all over creation.

Then, slowly, it began to dawn on me. Subconsciously, I was seeing the rushing, speeding, careening style of driving as a metaphor for the current state of my life. I saw it as us heading headlong, fast forward, toward the inevitable. Toward that which I have little control over. Toward the final, bitter end. I know it's coming but I have no desire to speed my way there. I would like to enjoy the journey that we have left as much as possible. I realized that I am beginning to wish to be able to slow things down, to regain some control.

This was a huge surprise to me. I had no idea this was hiding in my twisted little mind. Funny how something you're so used to and take for granted everyday, such as your wife's driving, can bring you to the realization of your true feelings. Anyway, that's been my major revelation for the week. Yours.....

Randy

Hey Randy, I am not trying to one-up ya or me-too ya but what you wrote hit so close to home I had to write. When my LBD started rocking I was working for Sony in San Francisco and anyone who has lived there knows what the commute is like. Its like 90 mins each way. When things were bad but not job-ending, I could not drive and so was driven to work many days. Now my wife is not like Karen in that no one will ever accuse her of being the Type-A one here (thats me) but on the other hand, Beth treats driving more like a Roman gladitorial event, ready to go to the sand with anyone getting in her way..

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But as the LBD got worse, I got to where I could not ride in the car with her unless I absolutely had no choice. I find I have to stare at the floor and ignore all around me or my brain kinda skips a groove. I don't think there is a sedative out there that could get me through a long road trip now. Beth once had the idea that while I was still kinda there we should rent an RV and cruise around the country with the dogs. I nearly went postal over that one.


Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:04 am
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Joined: Sat Mar 25, 2017 1:32 am
Posts: 48
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Post Re: Hidden Feelings
Came within a hair of ignoring this because I thought it would be just another spammer, glad I didn't. The idea of her treating commuters like a gladiator is hilarious but all to illuminating. Wonder if that's a common them among us weirdos? :?:


Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:22 am
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Joined: Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:36 am
Posts: 135
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Post Re: Hidden Feelings
Poppygail wrote:
Came within a hair of ignoring this because I thought it would be just another spammer, glad I didn't. The idea of her treating commuters like a gladiator is hilarious but all to illuminating. Wonder if that's a common them among us weirdos? :?:

One thing I need to be front and center on though is there really hasn't been much of my feelings being hidden here...everytime she drove the terror was clear on my face.....no guesswork needed.


Thu Jun 01, 2017 10:14 am
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