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 Fixations 
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Joined: Fri Aug 25, 2017 7:15 pm
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My husband was diagnosed with LBD in late June, his regular doctor was very alarmed when i took him in to see what was going on as he had just seen my husband 2 months prior. The Dr ordered an MRI which he thought at that time was dementia, possibly from small strokes (according to the neurologist this is not the case). The first few weeks he maintained fairly well as I was still trying to work a 40 hour week, that quickly came to a screeching halt as his behavior became increasingly bizarre, what was 2 phone calls a day while I was at work quickly became constant to the point I couldn't do my job any longer. From the time of the MRI to the initial visit with the neurologist he has both hallucinations and delusions which included people sitting at our table and a child in one of our rooms. He talks constantly which he NEVER did before, talks about the sewer and how he can't use the bathroom, talks about the state patrol and how they are watching us (this may be because he was a patrolman), that the underground sprinklers need replaced (they don't) to not being able to pay for the doctors bills or any of the bills (again not the case). Every thing in the house is poison, he can't drink the water because there isn't enough and on and on. This has been going on for 4 weeks, doesn't matter what I do to try to get him on another subject I fail. He has macular degeneration in both eyes so he can't read, doesn't want to watch tv, he has never used a computer when I tried to get him to play a preschool game on the computer he gets frustrated because he can't see and doesn't understand it. I tried to take him for a drive today and that didn't go over so well. I'm at my wits end trying to figure out how to help him when I go outside to do yard work he stays in the house and paces, separation anxiety I would guess.
He has lost about 15 lbs in a matter of weeks, I put as much food in him as he will tolerate. Some days are better than others. He is 74 years old and a wonderful man, I am struggling emotionally with being just the caregiver and no longer his wife, he recognizes me but I don't think the attachment is still there.
Any suggestions on how to get him from his fixations I have tried showing him that every thing is working and the bills are being paid but to no avail. Thank you for any help you can provide


Sun Aug 27, 2017 11:06 pm
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Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 8:15 pm
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You might try music it seems to help change my wife fixations. I agree that the spouse doesn't seem to have the same attachment for us anymore, which I'm sure is caused by this disease.


Mon Aug 28, 2017 7:36 am
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Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:52 am
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I so relate to your situation, my husband was diagnosed a little over two years ago with LBD, has been referred to a Neurologist, has had a scan as well and fortunately for us he has a great doctor who from the beginning took charge and has helped us cope with this disease. My husband also has delusions and hallucinations, sometimes thinking that I'm someone he hired to take care of "things" and him. It can get pretty weird because we can be in bed at bedtime and he will turn to me and tell me about himself as if I'm not his wife. He will ask me if I like dancing, where I live, etc. etc. It's emotionally very difficult for me at times like this to not take things personally and I have to keep reminding myself that he can;t help it. He seems pretty calm and happy though so that makes me feel good. There also seems to be a great interest in sex on his part (he is 88) where there had been none for many years. I have no desire for this at all anymore, I feel emotionally drained and just not interested in sex at this point.
He's pretty much himself in the mornings, but doesn't want to do much. I try to get him to do little things to help but sometimes it doesn't work so he''ll just sit in his chair. He does read, watches sports on TV and I play cards with him every day to keep him stimulated. The afternoons get a little more difficult for both of us as he;ll have delusions and I try to explain whatever the question is in a calm manner. I have pretty much given up on doing things away from him because he also gets anxious. If I do have a commitment I try to make if on a day when a golf tournament is going to be on and that entertains him for a while. He is also not able to use that TV remote now nor the phone.
He is still willing to have friends over and go out to dinner from time to time and seems more together when around company, but as the time progresses I can tell when he starts to fade and then I just try to end the visit.
If you have any suggestions, I would be very grateful.


Tue Sep 12, 2017 10:00 am
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Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:13 pm
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I'm so sorry for what you're going through. This is a really rough road. If you're looking for additional support, join the group on yahoo for LBD spouses. It's more active than this site. https://groups.yahoo.com/neo/groups/LBD ... ouses/info

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jjKing, caregiver


Sat Sep 16, 2017 4:44 pm
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Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:13 pm
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Worry and agitation are tough. My DH is constantly worried about who is his wife (me), where does she live, where is his brother, are the bills paid, where do I live, etc. Different hour, different question. So I have a spiel. I put on a big smile, act really happy/excited and it goes like this:

"I'm so glad you asked this. Because you are a very lucky man. You have been married almost 45 years to me. I'm your wife Jamie. Can you believe that we've been married for 45 years? blah, blah, blah . . . we live in this lovely home. You did a really nice thing to buy us such a nice home. . . And our investments? That nice investment advisor, Greg, do you remember Greg? Well he set us up for life. We’re going very well financially . . .And we have two daughters . . . and we have these two cute puppies . . . and this . . . and that . . .and guess what we're having for dinner tonight?"

I make my spiel as long as it takes for the scared/agitated look to disappear from his face. I don't even have to directly answer his concern. I just have to give the spiel. It works almost without fail and I can even use it unprompted. If he's agitated, I tell him this. Over and over again.

It doesn’t even matter if it’s all true. That investment advisor, Greg? Well he was a crook. He didn’t take any of our money, but he had a pyramid scheme going and ended up in jail. But DH doesn’t know it. He liked Greg.

Figure out what your spiel is and it will feel good to have it in your toolkit.
Blessings,
Jamie

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jjKing, caregiver


Sat Oct 21, 2017 6:46 pm
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Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:52 am
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Jamie, thank you so much for your suggestion, I loved the "speak" approach and will most definitely try it tailoring it to his fixations. It's interesting that they seem to be along the same issues that your DH mentions.
I think you have found a way to make it a bit easier for both you and your husband to deal with this disease.
I will let you know how it works for us.
Bless you and your husband.


Wed Nov 01, 2017 2:27 pm
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Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:52 am
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Post Re: Fixations
Good Morning Jamie:

Thank you so much for recommending the Yahoo forum site for support to spouses with LBD.

Marguerite


Fri Nov 03, 2017 10:56 am
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Joined: Mon Apr 03, 2017 8:13 pm
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Marguerite miller wrote:
He seems pretty calm and happy though so that makes me feel good. There also seems to be a great interest in sex on his part (he is 88) where there had been none for many years. I have no desire for this at all anymore, I feel emotionally drained and just not interested in sex at this point.


Hi Marguerite,
Glad to know that the speech idea might help someone else. I noticed your comment on sex, and must say that this has been an ongoing issue for us too. DH's behaviors are more like a young teenage boy who doesn't know how to do it. Now, I tell him, "So sorry that I can't participate any more. After my surgery, the doc said no more sex." He usually responds, "I'll always love you anyway. I won't leave you." It's hard to keep a straight face sometimes.
Blessings,
Jamie

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jjKing, caregiver


Sat Nov 04, 2017 4:06 pm
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