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 When to take the car keys 
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Joined: Wed May 31, 2017 8:15 pm
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Post When to take the car keys
My wife has not been diagnosed with LBD, but myself and kids feel this is what she has. Her Mom and Uncle both had it when looking back. Both gave up the keys before they had a wreck. She does not see very good, but does not want to give up her car.


Wed May 31, 2017 8:19 pm
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Joined: Fri Mar 10, 2017 11:36 am
Posts: 135
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Post Re: When to take the car keys
bglascock@live.com wrote:
My wife has not been diagnosed with LBD, but myself and kids feel this is what she has. Her Mom and Uncle both had it when looking back. Both gave up the keys before they had a wreck. She does not see very good, but does not want to give up her car.


That is a very tough one to answer and as a patient, its hard for me to understand too. I volunteered to give up driving (and managing finances, etc) when it became clear to me that my mind was not to be trusted. We live on the edge of town in the desert (meaning little traffic) and have a KMart like six blocks from my door yet I felt like such a danger on the road that I quit. Caregiver, many people were saying Oh you are fine, you can drive if you really had to....but as the great sage Harry Callahan said, a man has GOT to know his limitations...I felt like I was a danger to others on the road and so stopped.

But I do know of many though who have dementia but almost like an ostrich like keeping their head in the sand because as long as they do, they can (somehow) ignore the fact that life has changed on such a fundamental level. People can be defined by who they are but also they define themselves by what they can do. As the things they can do are eliminated from their lives, they have to ask the question, if this is all thats left of me, what/who am I? I let what I did define who I was and when I could no longer do it, I was left pretty rudderless......still, at this point, whats important for Jeff is less important than whats important for Jeffs caregiver. Simply put, from my perspective there are two phases of this, the first where the patient adapts to being disabled (and the caregiver must manage the tendency to go "do stuff like I used to...") and the second where the patient has reached near house-plant status and all of her life will be gone then. So as a patient who cares I am doing all I can to be as little problem as I can NOW while I have some control over things. I know I can't help what comes later but this I still have control over.


Thu Jun 01, 2017 7:52 am
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Joined: Mon Sep 11, 2017 10:52 am
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Post Re: When to take the car keys
You are a great and sensible man Jeff Cobb! My husband also has given up his car because he felt just as you did. My family and I felt such relief as we were concerned for him and others on the road. He tended to all of a sudden stop when driving , had trouble when merging on a freeway and I knew it was time for him to give up his keys. Fortunately, he also felt the same way.


Tue Sep 12, 2017 10:08 am
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