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 should I try to convonce him 
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Joined: Sun Aug 03, 2014 1:35 pm
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Post should I try to convonce him
I'm new to posting, I think using 'post new topic' is the way to post something. Here goes. I succeeded once

My husband has many of the symptoms of LBD, but not all. I've done extensive on-line reading to find our what it is. I am 90 % sure he is in early stages of LBD and not something else. He thinks he is just having trouble with his memory, and the other problems are related to meds he is taking. Sounds plausible. But he's seen a couple of hallucinations and tried to kick me in his sleep, other stuff like that. Some friends intervened and talked to me, and communicated with his Doctor, who is his sister. The word 'dementia' was finally used in a conversation with him and his doctor, he other sister and me. The doctor asked him to stop drinking, (which has helped), prescribed a vitamin B12 med, given him an anti-depressant (which really helped), got him a c-pac for sleep apnea, (also has helped). But when I tried to make sure she knew about the bad reactions to anti-psychotics, she really ragged on me, told me to butt out and said LBD was low on her list of possible causes.

I would be fine just continuing with my daily life and waiting until more conclusive symptoms develop, except he controls all of the money.

Both my husband and I are gardeners, or he was until a shoulder injury forced his retirement. I still work. He is on social security and he has saved a fair amount. He spends most of the days now 'day-trading gold' and reading financial stuff on the web. I'm concerned he will get scammed before he is diagnosed.

Does anybody know if should try to get him to read about it, or just wait and see. I guess I should wait.

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Prunerwoman


Wed Sep 03, 2014 2:31 am
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Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:29 am
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Location: Florida
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Post Re: should I try to convonce him
Cass,

It's important to get the right diagnosis as soon as possible so that your husband can come to terms with how to prepare for the inevitable. We went to a Neuropsychologist to get my husband tested to understand the exact level of impairment. This can provide an unbiased assessment which you could use with his doctor/sister. What you may not realize (which is exactly what happened to me) is that he masks in front of others and that we, as the caregivers, compensate for and protect them. As to the financial aspect, it is important that he not day trade. The average person should not day trade - it's Las Vegas money for only those who can afford to lose it. As they say in Vegas "the house always wins". This is dangerous and risky behavior for him. Risky behaviors often arise when there is frontal temporal impairment and could be another indicator of LBD. Time to reach out to specialists. Good luck to you, it is a very difficult journey for all.

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Adele, wife and caregiver to Bill, diagnosed with LBD in January, 2014.


Wed Sep 03, 2014 1:08 pm
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Joined: Wed Nov 13, 2013 3:30 pm
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Post Re: should I try to convonce him
DITTO! Get to a neurologist asap for extensive Neuropsychological testing and a CT-scan with contrast. The sooner whatever it is is diagnosed, with LBD or not, the better.


Wed Sep 03, 2014 1:27 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Location: Vermont
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Post Re: should I try to convonce him
I totally agree with the 2 previous responses to your post. There are very astute people who day trade and still lose a lot of money, to say nothing of someone with a possible neurological disease. Somehow you, his best friend, kids, whomever he trusts, need to convince him that day trading is not in your (both of you) best financial interest. Who does he trust? Often spouses are disregarded about things like this. You may need to even do something like an intervention to convince him to NOT do this.

Can you help him find something to occupy his time that doesn't put you both a serious financial risk? Does he have other interests, hobbies, sports, etc. that he can do that would help him focus on something else that he enjoys?

Good luck, let us know what you figure out! Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Sep 03, 2014 5:16 pm
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Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2014 11:29 am
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Post Re: should I try to convonce him
The testing will provide you with the support you (and the family and doctors) need to convince your husband to prepare for the progression of a neurological disease and can support the importance for him to relinquish certain responsibilities to you or at least approach the management of the family finances as a partnership responsibility. Ultimately, it should start the conversation of preparing for the coming phases and gives him a sense of control in an uncontrollable situation. The sense of control is what he is feeling from the day trading as he tries to get a grip on his mind.

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Adele, wife and caregiver to Bill, diagnosed with LBD in January, 2014.


Wed Sep 03, 2014 9:28 pm
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