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 caregiving alone...when is it time for nursing home? 
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3317
Location: Vermont
Post Re: caregiving alone...when is it time for nursing home?
I hope you will be able to start taking better care of yourself. It won't do you or your mom any good for you to wear yourself out. Luckily the heart condition that I developed during the stress of taking care of my dad is under control, but it means that for the rest of my life I have a condition that will never go away. I would hate to see you end up with something like this! Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Thu Feb 07, 2013 12:31 pm
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Joined: Sun Feb 10, 2013 5:56 pm
Posts: 4
Post Re: caregiving alone...when is it time for nursing home?
As a CG for my recently diagnosed wife, I appreciate all the foregoing comments. I may have a long way to go before I reach the desperate stages discussed, but I think it is well to keep my eyes wide open on this rough road my wife and I are now on. Thank you for letting me eavesdrop on your enlightened and concerned attitudes.
Ray


Fri Feb 15, 2013 11:09 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3317
Location: Vermont
Post Re: caregiving alone...when is it time for nursing home?
Ray - you know that saying "forewarned is forearmed"? I do best when I have info. about what the possibilities are in situations like having a LO with LBD. Having to do last-minute scrambling with something as important as say, placement in a care facility, is stressful enough without the added burden of having a day or two to make a difficult decision. Or, finding a part time CG to come in and help you, or which meds might be appropriate, or any number of other things that you may not need now, but are likely to need in the future... Reading as much as you can will help you wrap your head around the future and maybe get some things organized now before they reach a crisis. All the best to you, it's a hard road but lots of support and info. is here for you to make use of. Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sat Feb 16, 2013 9:46 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: caregiving alone...when is it time for nursing home?
Lynn is so right, Ray! Many, if not most, of our LOs' placements were precipitated by crises. They weren't really planned on. Knowing what options you have and what is available will better prepare you for that possiblility.

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Feb 16, 2013 10:06 pm
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Joined: Sun Feb 24, 2013 11:35 am
Posts: 3
Post Re: caregiving alone...when is it time for nursing home?
Have you talked to an Eldercare attorney about the possibility of getting her on Medicaid? You might have to reallocate some of her assets but it would be worth it if it would help you when the time comes to put her in a nursing home. I did that with my husband and am so grateful I did.


Mon Feb 25, 2013 11:38 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3317
Location: Vermont
Post Re: caregiving alone...when is it time for nursing home?
Depending on what state you live in, Medicaid may or may not cover an ALF (if that's something in your future), and that can also vary greatly from one facility to another, both ALFs and SNFs. Another good reason to do some homework before there's a crisis. Good luck, Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Tue Feb 26, 2013 1:31 pm
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Joined: Sun Feb 17, 2013 11:41 am
Posts: 12
Post Re: caregiving alone...when is it time for nursing home?
once your loved one is in ALF or NH, it frees you to do the things with them that are more fun. you will have the time and energy to visit, to take him or her out(if he or she can go out) to bring small items or treats to cheer up your loved one, to have a meal with him or her(if possible) to shop for or with him or her, to run errands, to read to him or her, to watch tv or movies with him or her.

because i don't have to struggle with my mom in the shower or fix her meals, i have time to take her to dinner, to the doctor, shopping. to take the high school portraits of her and my dad to the frame shop to get framed. to care for some of her clothing that requires special handling. to get her to the beauty shop. and- have my own life too.

once you place your loved one you can still visit, and visit often. make sure that he or she is getting proper care and you can bring a little joy into their lives instead of being consumed with worry and struggling with the day to day chores.

i haven't walked the walk like many of you have...i haven't had to be a caregiver. but i can imagine that day and night after day and night of exhausting physical labor and emotional stress would not make me very good company for my mom.


Fri Mar 22, 2013 8:52 am
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