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 Lonely/bored Mom in ALF: When to move to memory care? 
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Joined: Fri Apr 06, 2012 10:19 pm
Posts: 27
Post Re: Lonely/bored Mom in ALF: When to move to memory care?
Thank you. I'm luckier than most of you as Dad is mostly quite docile and other than being tied to the house and sometimes sleepless nights he isn't too much problem at the moment. I don't know if it is just luck or the fact that generally I am very laid back keeps him calm also. A care home isn't an option for me at the moment as I live in Spain and I wouldn't want him to be in a place that didn't speak English, I don't trust anybody here to know anything about Lewys as I even have to teach the neurologist and buy books for her to read and also we can't afford the expense. Dad is 81 and had Lewys for at least 7 or 8 years and some signs even before that so as I say I'm very lucky to be able to care for him at home still.


Thu Nov 08, 2012 5:39 am
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Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:07 pm
Posts: 245
Post Re: Lonely/bored Mom in ALF: When to move to memory care?
I'm glad to hear that the memory care unit is working out so well!

I just got home from settling my mother in the special care unit (the equivalent in the community where my parents live.) They have been in assisted living together since May, but it has become increasingly challenging for my dad over the last six months. He has been getting more help, and the staff are excellent. But he gets tired and frustrated. This morning she had a nosebleed from poking around and picking at her nose, and he yelled at her to stop and was really beside himself. The nursing assistant came in and got worried about his level of frustration, and let her supervisor know. So when I went over this afternoon, I had a long talk with one of the nurses and with the head nurse, and eventually convinced my dad that he needed a break and she is going to sleep there for a day or two.

He was very upset, but I think he is calmed down. He worries about her, but also that he will get downsized from the nice apartment they now have, if he is alone there. In fact I don't think they can do that, unless he deteriorates. But it's all very hard, and I suspect he also feels that he has failed and let her down. Sigh.

On top of everything else, he had another fall a few days ago and hit his head, leading to another trip to the ER. Luckily no sign of concussion or subdural hematoma, so we were "only" there 1.5 hours this time.

We had rather hoped to keep them together at least until after the holidays, and it may still be possible, but the handwriting is on the wall. Sigh.
But we count our blessings that they are still here and still relatively coherent and close to family, at 96 years old.

_________________
Laurel - mother (97) diagnosed April, 2011, with LBD; died May, 2014.


Sun Nov 11, 2012 1:04 am
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