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 Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room 
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Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:03 pm
Posts: 6
Post Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room
My mom came out of the hospital 2 days ago, she was just in for a UTI, they agreed to admit her to transfer to a SNF but none of the ones they called would take her (either didn't have a Medi-cal bed, couldn't deal with hallucinations or she didn't qualify for skilled nursing). Now we are home again with worsening behavior issues. Earlier today she didn't recognize me and thought I was a stranger in the house. Now it's midnight and she's up roaming the house (unable to walk and almost falling). She doesn't believe it's her room or her bed and won't sleep there. She is incontinent and I really don't want her to sleep on the couches so she is sitting at a chair at the table with her head down! She was only on half a Seroquel (12.5 mg) so her Neurologist said to give her a whole one at night, it didn't phase her. I'm afraid to giver her more without the approval of the Neurologist. I'm afraid to go back to the ER it was a bad experience - they gave her Ativan for combativeness which had a bad effect on her. SNF's won't take her, I've been told that Board and Care's won't take her for behavior reasons since their Caregiver's sleep at night - unlike me! Is a Psych ward the right place I don't know. I'm exhausted with no other family to help and friends don't know how to handle this either.

How do we get through this?


Fri Jul 20, 2012 3:15 am
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post Re: Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room
Sherry, I "remember those days", Frank quite often didn't recognize his home, one night he sat on the porch all night waiting for the bus to take him home. There no convencing him he WAS home, so I just had to stay up, at 5:00AM I told him the bus had to cancel this stop and they would be here at noon. He finally went in to bed for a couple hours. It's exhausting, I do have familly, they would come to visit but I seldom left them with him, but it was a break having someone to chat with. Hang in there, check with your town's senior center or church they may have some volunteers that could give you a break, maybe just a few hours to nap. There may also be a social worker that could help find a place for your mom. Things don't usually get better, if they do, it's only temporary.

Take care,
Gerry

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Gerry 67, cared for Frank 71, married 49 yrs; dx 2004, passed away October 26, 2011.


Fri Jul 20, 2012 7:06 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room
I believe there are facilities that would take your mother but you may have to look far and wide to find one. I found this very helpful as it includes all types of care facilities, the payers they accept and often, what criteria they use for 'eviction'. http://www.providerdata.com/Home.aspx

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Fri Jul 20, 2012 10:28 am
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Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:03 pm
Posts: 6
Post Re: Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room
Thank you, at least I feel like there is someone who understands even if you are not here physically. She stayed at the table until she was too sore to sit there, then went to the couch. I calmly went in and asked if she needed to go to the bathroom, she said no. I asked if I could help her get up and she said she would only lay there 5 minutes so in 5 minutes I tried again and slowly led her to her bed and she didn't resist. I think she was so exhausted by then she didn't even remember what she had done earlier. I do plan on hiring someone to help until I can get her placed but they may not be here when these types of things happen (when I just want to flee). When she is like this it's so upsetting to the whole family - mostly me, I'm sure. I am going daily when my kids are home to be with her to see my options. Some are just too expensive. I am looking further away from where I live for cost reasons. This is just so sad.


Fri Jul 20, 2012 2:43 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room
Sherry,

This is indeed a sad disease, is your Mom still on the ativan or are any other meds changed? Is she getting an antibotic for the UTI ? The very best you can do is try not to show your emotions as she will pick up on them and it could make her more anxious, I hope you are able to find some help !

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Irene Selak


Fri Jul 20, 2012 3:37 pm
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Joined: Thu Jul 19, 2012 3:37 pm
Posts: 8
Post Re: Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room
Seraquel worsened my mom's "visions" etc... Plus she hasn't slept in her bed for months. She sleeps in her recliner chair and I have to put a "seatbelt" on her to keep her from getting up at night. I wish I could help, but I just signed in to start a new post about sleeplessness.......she doesn't sleep 75% of the time. Therefore, neither do I.


Wed Jul 25, 2012 10:55 am
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Joined: Sun Mar 25, 2012 4:03 pm
Posts: 6
Post Re: Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room
Irene, she isn't on Ativan now they only gave it to her at the hospital for the combativeness. She is on 25 mg. of Seroquel at night but that may have to be raised a little at a time. I took her for a urine test on Monday or Tuesday (I can't remember), the dr's office called to say the sample was "dirty" so they are going to have to wait til the culture comes back. She has an appointment today at her primary care physician. She never wants to go to any of these appointments. Her sleeping is so unpredictable, sometimes she sleeps through the night other times she's up all night.


Fri Jul 27, 2012 3:59 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: Refusing to sleep in her bed or her room
Sherry,
Everything is unpredicictable with this illness > I hope you had some luck at todays appointment!

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Irene Selak


Fri Jul 27, 2012 10:14 pm
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