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 Adult Diapers 
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Adult Diapers
Quote:
Maybe you being a sounding board would be enough to help him in this area.


I was thinking this, too. So often, we want to solve problems for someone when all they are looking for is understanding and a shoulder to cry on.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Tue Jun 19, 2012 9:27 am
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: Adult Diapers
Tara,

I always thought Depends were adult diapers. I don't understand what the difference is. Since Depends (and other brands) come in many strengths and designs, they should be useful for most people. There are also additional shields that you can put inside the brief, kind of like those fancy cloth diapers used for babies these days, that should help. The thing is to try all kinds and designs and find what works best. I don't think there is anything that will deal with all situations, especially #2.

When Mom went into the nursing home, they started using those big square things that could only be called diapers. But to make them more acceptable, they referred to them as "pads." I also learned there (because they didn't do this enough) that it is important to do frequent checks and potty stops. The more you can create a schedule, the better. The NH didn't do this often enough, nor did they respond quickly to signals (or outright shouting) that someone needed to use the potty.

We took Mom on outings most weekends. We always carried those large, adult sized, wipes, more than enough Depends and at least one change of clothing and made sure we were somewhere that would allow us to get to a facility quickly. (We really got to know where the best rest rooms were at each of the local shopping malls.) If you still go out, the trick is to be over-prepared. We picked up a saddlebag for Mom's wheelchair that kept all of her "going out" supplies, and we were usually prepared with whatever she needed (including powders, ointments and prescriptions).

For at home, consider getting an easy, light weight, shower wand with a button that can start the spray and stop it and a very long hose. That made my life a lot easier while Mom still lived with me. Be very careful, though, about using it while she's sitting on the toilet. (This is where the button for turning the spray on and off comes in.) It's very easy to get too much in the bowl and then have to do some bailing or mess up your plumbing. For the really bad ones, I'd get the worst off with her on the toilet and then move her to the tub (sitting on or in) to finish the cleaning. I did go through a lot of "scrubbing bubbles."

You get used to it, like you get used to changing a baby's diapers. This is just an exponentially bigger bottom to clean. And, if you can be lighthearted about it, and matter-of-fact, it eventually gets easier. And still there was that time when I ended up washing down the bathrooms walls...

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Thu Jun 21, 2012 2:19 pm
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Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:39 am
Posts: 98
Location: Victorville, CA
Post Re: Adult Diapers
I so agree with "challenged." I've known people who complain and when you offer a suggestion, they scoff at it, over and over. I've thought, "this person just likes complaining and if they accepted your suggestion and it worked, they wouldn't have anything to complain about." I realized though that the individual behaved this way because they were afraid that if they didn't have something to complain about then no one would be there to listen. Caregiving is a very lonely thing. The suggestion that you just listen and offer sympathy or empathy, and bring over a new product for him to try at his leisure and leave it at that would be better for you both in the long run. Taking the "less" proactive approach is very difficult, I know. Good luck.

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Terri, spouse of John, officially DX dementia with Lewy Bodies, June, 2012, cognitive symptoms since 2007, active dreams for years before that.


Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:09 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: Adult Diapers
TaraC wrote:
I gently suggested that the doctor make a house visit for her physicals. My dad said while he recognizes that it may come to that at some point, while she can get out he wants her to. Now I understand that my Dad does not want to face that she can't leave the house, believe me I understand how he looks at it, I really do, but isn't it about what is best for her at this point?


Tara, I hear your frustration and what you say makes logical sense. I'd like to just offer a slightly different perspective.

You have two parents whose lives have been disrupted and torn apart by this disease. One of them actually has abnormal microscopic protein deposits in the brain and the other doesn't, but both of them have been throw for a loop and are suffering. Both of them are LBD victims.

Why is this only about what is best for the one with the protein deposits?

I know that you are trying very hard to make your Dad's life easier. Bless you. And I don't intend this as a criticism in any way. Just a slightly different way of looking at it, from a Lewy Body victim who doesn't have the protein deposits in her brain.

When the needs/wants between the two LBD victims are in conflict, sometimes (usually, in fact) the needs of the one with the protein deposits must be given priority. Sometimes the other sufferer's needs have to come first. Striking the balance must be very, very difficult for the people around the couple. My heart goes out to you. Maybe this is part of what "picking your battles" is about.

Coy needs to see me frequently throughout the day, to feel safe and grounded. I need to work to support us and I need blocks of time to focus on that paid activity. His needs get priority. That means it often takes me 14 hours or more to put in an 8-hour work day and I hardly ever have weekends work-free, but this arrangement is best for Coy.

Coy needs to have me home all the time. I need some respite. Sometimes my needs must come first. It wasn't good for him when I went away for a weekend without him; it was good for me. I need to do that more.

"Isn't it about what is best for her at this point?" Sometimes. Maybe most of the time. But not always and not automatically.

Does that make sense? I wonder if other spouses can relate to it.

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Mon Jun 25, 2012 8:13 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3436
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Adult Diapers
I think almost any CG can relate to what you are saying, spouse or whatever other relationship. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:32 pm
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 5:00 pm
Posts: 78
Location: Fayetteville, NC
Post Re: Adult Diapers
I think I know what you're talking about. I took a trip with my sister this weekend. Didn't see Ted for 3 days. Last night I called when I got back and he was quite agitated. Told me to come get him "now" from the nursing home. I finally got him to give the phone to a nurse. She settled him down with some meds. Saw him tonight and he just melted into me, hugging me. I just held him and kissed his neck (because I never really see him eye to eye anymore--his head is always down). But, he also was talking about the other "people" in the room with us. I just kept holding him. Finally left, but cried some. Needed this weekend, but felt the pull and worried about Ted. (P.S.--his brothers visited him Friday night, our middle daughter saw him yesterday--she told me he asked her to make sure my brother-in-law got that $300. Thank goodness that didn't come up tonight).


Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:40 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Adult Diapers
I can relate, Jeanne. A weekend off would have done wonders for me! Even four hours two days a week made all the difference. Lewy takes a LOT out of a caregiver on physical, emotional and mental fronts. Sometimes you don't even realize how sick you have become until you get away for a few hours.

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:42 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 610
Post Re: Adult Diapers
Maybe you should take this to a different post. The most recent comments have gone off the track from adult diaper issues.

Julianne


Tue Jun 26, 2012 9:22 am
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: Adult Diapers
Julianne is right , we really need to post in the area that most fits our question or comment. I know it is so easy to get off the subject.

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Irene Selak


Tue Jun 26, 2012 11:33 am
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Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2010 7:11 pm
Posts: 31
Post Re: Adult Diapers
I have always added one of the poise bladder pads inside the pull up so when it's just a urine, 9 times out of 10 all I have to do is change the pad. For a poop, it often saves it from getting all over the pants.

Heather in Orange County, CA


Fri Jul 13, 2012 8:35 pm
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