I was just wondering if anyone has been dealing with a loved one that never feels safe? I have moved my mother, in part because she keeps being asked to leave, through three assisted living facilities, one retirement community with home health care, my house, and from her original house - and she has never felt safe. She is now wanting very badly to move back in with me because she says that she doesn't feel safe. Thoughts on how to help someone who is having problems with their memory and who has some paranoia feel safe? She is really starting to presure me and she frequently threatens to leave the facility on her own if we don't take her seriously because she is in danger. She is convinced that people are planning to hurt her. If some of you have been through similar things I would love to hear about it and if you have any insights on strategies to implement, that would be great too.

Liz

I'm not sure moving her back would solve the problem. A few years ago, my husband went through a phase of paranoia and Capgras delusion where he sometimes believe me to be an impostor and that there were people [as many as twenty!] in the house who meant him harm. Just yesterday, in fact, I found an old notebook he kept in 2008 where he questioned what to do about 'the duplicate wife' and the 'unpaying guests'. Then, in 2009, he thought there were duplicate houses and he was always wanting me to take him to the other one. He moved from this phase and your mother probably will, too. Seroquel helped his hallucinations and anxiety tremendously.

Some time ago when my mother was feeling very anxious in general, she expressed these kinds of concerns and wishes to go somewhere else. It seemed like not feeling safe had more to do with her awareness of her advancing illness than actually needing to leave. Her meds were adjusted so she started receiving something for anxiety and this really helped.

Julianne