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 Financial delusions 
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: Financial delusions
If the estate is over a certain amount of money (here, $50K), it goes through probate which is when inheritance tax kicks in. I think we have some protection for family farms in this state, but that's about all. If the estate is very small, there is no inheritance tax, at least here.

A will doesn't prevent having to go through probate. Only poverty does that. And even if you are named executor in the will, the court doesn't have to accept that and allow you to administer the estate. I'm told that the court does recognize the will as an important document, but not one that is binding for probate court.

I think a will is still important for many things. But it is not all-powerful, I've come to find. I'm learning that, in a court of any kind, all documents can be overridden. Any lawyers out there that know any different?

I wonder if, during your lifetime, you could get the court okey-dokey for the person you named as executor to be a court-recognized "Personal Representative."

Knowing what I'm finding out now, through this experience, I'm really committed to rewriting my will and trying to get it written in stone.

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Wed Mar 28, 2012 3:02 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3369
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Financial delusions
As Julianne pointed out, every state has their own rules, regs., and so on. The reason I had to deal with probate DESPITE my dad's will was because his car was not owned by anyone but him. Then, his finances, which we thought were all taken care of, weren't totally taken care of prior to his death. It seems that the "wrong" paperwork was given to him and me by his financial advisor. My dad's intention was that upon his death, thought he was filling out the proper paperwork for his accounts to be "joint tennants with rights of survivorship", but instead, he was given "joint tennants in common". That meant, that when he died, 1/3 of his account was still his property, therefore part of his estate. So, despite his and my best efforts years ago to try to take care of everything, his financial person gave him the wrong form so I've had to deal with 1/3 of this one account.
In addition, the probate court had to put ads in the paper for so many months after I had filed the initial probate papers. Then after the waiting period (which ended up being about 6 or 7 months) I had to fill out more paperwork saying how much the 1/3 of his investment acct. was now worth.
I was just glad that he and I had done so much legal work before his big decline in 2009, and I had spent so much time after his big decline trying to close credit card accounts and taking care of other financial matters. Compared to many people, this was a relatively "simple" estate and it still took months of waiting and hours of time completing forms, making phone calls, going to the court house in MD.
Words of advice : even if you think everything is done properly, look at it again to make sure. The "joint tennants" thing can be a huge deal. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:29 pm
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Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Portland, OR
Post Re: Financial delusions
Well, folks, I tried a solution to the "checks" delusion, and did that ever backfire! I decided to enlist the aid of the bank teller I know best and get her to write by hand a fake deposit slip- we decided we could say the printer broke down-and was just finishing up when I heard a commotion outside. My husband, who never gets out of the car when I'm on an errand and can never even undo the safety belt, had gotten out of the car and tried to walk to the bank with no walker - and fell and hit his head! After a trip to the ER, luckily, we found he hadn't done any real damage, just needed stitches. Whew! BUT, here's the ironic ending: on the way home, I was scolding him a bit that I was just coming out of the bank and had done what he wanted, that he hadn't needed to follow me. He sighed and said, yeah, okay - then said, "Now if only I can find that ad that said we'd won $4000." So today, that's all he's harping on, where's that ad?? Fix one problem with trickery, and things just get worse - or the same!!


Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:34 pm
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: Financial delusions
I'm glad he's OK.

Sometimes you've just got to laugh before the tears of frustration come.
:roll:
:lol:
:P
8)

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Wed Mar 28, 2012 4:53 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3369
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Financial delusions
Oh boy, Kathy, I'm guessing the $4,000 winnings won't be the last of it. I'd draft a list of responses and rehearse it so if anything else comes up you have a quick way of diffusing the issue. It's exhausting, isn't it?
My dad would sometimes think he was being independent, and therefore helpful, by getting himself out of the car when he wasn't physically able. We had a few close calls, but luckily I had on my running shoes and got there before any calamity happened! Or some guardian angel was there helping both of us avoid what you two just went through.
Sending a big hug of empathy, Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Mar 28, 2012 5:14 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3369
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Financial delusions
Oh boy, Kathy, I'm guessing the $4,000 winnings won't be the last of it. I'd draft a list of responses and rehearse it so if anything else comes up you have a quick way of diffusing the issue. It's exhausting, isn't it?
My dad would sometimes think he was being independent, and therefore helpful, by getting himself out of the car when he wasn't physically able. We had a few close calls, but luckily I had on my running shoes and got there before any calamity happened! Or some guardian angel was there helping both of us avoid what you two just went through.
Sending a big hug of empathy, Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Mar 28, 2012 5:14 pm
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Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Portland, OR
Post Re: Financial delusions
Thanks for hugs - of course, I felt TOTALLY responsible, as I hadn't looked out more than once, except he NEVER gets out -right! Good idea about compiling a list of responses, if I can think of any that will calm him. Never a dull moment, is it??


Wed Mar 28, 2012 7:22 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: Financial delusions
Kathy,

What a story! *YOU* are NOT responsible for your husband's fall and ER trip.

Perhaps you need to see an attorney. For the protection of your assets, your husband's name may need to be removed from the titles. What if something happened to you, and your husband was able to spend all of his assets?

Robin


Wed Mar 28, 2012 8:48 pm
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Joined: Tue Aug 30, 2011 1:42 pm
Posts: 108
Post Re: Financial delusions
Kathy -

Probably a stupid question, but would it make since for you to put things in trust for yourself and your husband? I have no idea how that works, but if you have children or relatives or friends that you trust to be in charge of a trust fund perhaps that would protect you nad your husband in case something happened to you.

Liz


Wed Mar 28, 2012 9:27 pm
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Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Portland, OR
Post Re: Financial delusions
We went to an elder-law attorney when husband still had some faculties about him. Have wills for both of us, no trust but that was not recommended. Not sure husbands and wives usually get trusts for each other.


Wed Mar 28, 2012 10:30 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3369
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Financial delusions
Kathy - given his current state, you may get advice that would be different and possibly save a lot of heartache as well as expense later on. And I second what Robin said, you shouldn't feel responsible or guilty. Accidents happen and you cannot be at all places at all times. And, you made your best guess predicting his ability to get out of the car. It just turned out he was able to, just like my dad did or tried to do a few times. Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Mar 28, 2012 11:33 pm
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Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Portland, OR
Post Re: Financial delusions
I'm due for a chat with the lawyer about something else, so I'll ask. And I didn't really feel guilty for long - it was HIS fault, or the delusion's fault, anyway. Thanks for the reassurance anyway!


Thu Mar 29, 2012 12:28 am
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