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 Delusional "projects" 
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Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Portland, OR
Post Delusional "projects"
So, now my husband is getting worse about his "projects" - something he gets obsessive about and won't let go. Lately he's convinced that he can sell (or give away, depends on the day) old magazines and get a tax write-off. I know arguing logically doesn't work, but still I looked up tax deductions online and printed out material for him - silly me! Yes, I know I can just go along with this, except it would require me to follow through somehow, AND he pesters people at social gatherings, asking them to buy or take the magazines. (He did used to read books a lot and we gave them to a local library, so there's history.) I guess I'm a little embarrassed for him and the people he bugs about it - they tend to just go along if they know him, which he of course uses as ammunition later. ("Your brother said he wants some!" Nope!) So anybody encountered things like this and found some reaction that works?


Wed Feb 08, 2012 3:23 pm
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Joined: Fri Nov 05, 2010 11:30 pm
Posts: 317
Location: southern cali
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
sorry kathy,

haven't run into this, yet..this is a complicated one...doesn't sound like the old redirect is going to work on this one... dang when they obsessed on something, they stay on it..like a dog on a bone...will be watching for the ideas that are offered...

good luck
cindi

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sole CG for hubby.1st symptoms, 2000, at 55. Diag with AD at 62, LB at 64.. vietnam vet..100% ptsd disability,sprayed with agent orange, which doubled chances for dementia. ER visit 11-13,released to memory care..


Thu Feb 09, 2012 11:58 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
We've been through the delusional projects, too. In fact, we still face the urgency of 'meetings' and catching planes on a daily basis. Since he's less vocal now the projects are fewer but I'm sure his mind is busy all the time. As he is now in a SNF, it's easier to play along, make plausible excuses ['the meeting has been canceled', 'the papers are in the mail', 'your flight was delayed because of bad weather']. The drawers in his room are full of 'important papers' to bring out when the occasion arises and I keep his briefcase there with papers in it, too. It's very hard to make sense of what he's saying most of the time since he can only get out two or three words but I try to play along as best I can and get the staff in on it, too. I've never been very creative so it's been a challenge for me to think up dodges like this. ;-)

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Thu Feb 09, 2012 12:26 pm
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Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 4:46 pm
Posts: 119
Location: Salem, Oregon
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
One of my mom's "projects" is taking down the bulletin board at her care center. We just can't understand it, but we've learned not to place her within reach of it, or she'll start taking it apart. Also, there is a new gentleman at the facility who recently had a stroke. They tried placing him next to my mom at meal times, but they had to move him because she kept trying to "help" him. Since she needs so much help with meals herself, this just led to a greater mess and problems for the staff. She used to be nurse manager at our local hospital's rehab unit for people who had suffered strokes, spinal cord injuries, etc., so she's just doing her job.


Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:08 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
SandwichMom wrote:
One of my mom's "projects" is taking down the bulletin board at her care center. We just can't understand it, but we've learned not to place her within reach of it, or she'll start taking it apart. Also, there is a new gentleman at the facility who recently had a stroke. They tried placing him next to my mom at meal times, but they had to move him because she kept trying to "help" him. Since she needs so much help with meals herself, this just led to a greater mess and problems for the staff. She used to be nurse manager at our local hospital's rehab unit for people who had suffered strokes, spinal cord injuries, etc., so she's just doing her job.


I could just picture myself being the same way if I ended up in a facility--trying to 'help' everyone and just causing more problems. :cry:

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Tue Feb 14, 2012 1:12 pm
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Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:42 am
Posts: 10
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
Hi all - I'm new to the boards and am learning more about LBD each day as my 70 yr old mom has been recently diagnosed.

For years my mom has talked about these delusional projects - cleaning her house the biggest one. She's now in a nursing home and demands that I order her a pajama catalog so she can buy footie pajamas like babies wear. Is this normal type behavior for LBD patients?

Thanks,
Stephanie


Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:19 pm
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Joined: Sun Apr 04, 2010 6:54 pm
Posts: 64
Location: Portland, OR
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
Yes, Stephanie, you can expect all kinds of obsessive behavior if my husband's case is an example. Before he was diagnosed he kept ordering tacky things from catalogs (THREE Snuggies!) and became obsessed with Publisher's Clearinghouse, convinced he had already won. Now it's this thing with magazines, but it will be something else later. Usually I can divert him but this one has been long-lasting. Nobody has any other ideas? For you, I'd say maybe get her a catalog and fill out the forms but never send it, see if that satisfies her. I tried getting to the bottom of this with my husband, to see whether he's worried about money or something, but that doesn't help the behavior. Depakote has helped with some of the anxiousness but not really the obsessiveness.


Wed Feb 15, 2012 10:34 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
Stephanie, that seems like a pretty mild one. I almost bought myself cute footie pajamas this winter, seeing a "penguin" looking set on display at Target. But then I remembered that my legs are considerably shorter than standard off-the-rack sizes and those would be hard to shorten. :oops:

Maybe your mother's sudden interest in footie pjs is just a weird whim, or maybe there is something behind it, like cold feet, or fear that something is going to crawl up her pants leg, or ???

I'd get her a catalog, and also talk about her interest in this particular item.

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Fri Feb 17, 2012 11:14 pm
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Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:42 am
Posts: 10
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
As we start cleaning out her house, I'm finding more and more stuff almost on the brink of what could be considered hoarding. Tons of bras, pantyhose, clothing and shoes - all of which were not her size. Boxes of Christmas ornaments, small kitchen appliances, etc.

This is definitely a very strange disease.


Sun Feb 19, 2012 9:56 am
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Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:25 am
Posts: 227
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
My MIL was also a borderline hoarder. When she moved to the ALF we found tons of stuff she didn't need. A lot of it had price tags still on them. She really liked the dollar store since she could more useless stuff with the same money. We sold it all. We have her with us now and she'll sometimes remember her stuff and ask about it. We tell her it's all in the shed behind our house. We would need fifty sheds to hold it all. (Once her daughters tried to sell some of it at a garage sale. She kept dragging it all back into the garage. The daughters left in frustration, and left me to deal with it all. I just let her pick out what she wanted to sell/keep and all was fine.) We kept the things with sentimental value and put them in her room and around the house to make her feel as if it was her home, too. Also, we found five large (lawn/leaf) garbage bags filled with laundry in the garage. Apparently she would forget about it and just buy more clothes as needed.

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Donna (age 56) caregiver for mother-in-law Margaret (age 88).


Sun Feb 19, 2012 11:01 am
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Joined: Fri May 28, 2010 4:46 pm
Posts: 119
Location: Salem, Oregon
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
Among other odd things, my mom hoarded tea. My dad has boxes and boxes at his house that she bought before moving to the facility, and he doesn't really drink it. I noticed that they don't give her tea at the facility, so I've started to bring in tea bags to have a cup with her when I visit.


Wed Feb 22, 2012 9:41 pm
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
Kathy,

Have you considered playing along by making some "forms" he can fill out to place orders and maybe a ledger to track them? Is this in any way related to something he did professionally? Was he in sales?

I wonder if getting and placing orders, if it is related to his career, is something that bolsters his sense of self worth. If he feels a need to "work" maybe this would help.

For times when you are out and about, and you worry about him trying to sell someone something, consider making up cards similar to business cards. They should say something like "My husband suffers from dementia. It helps him to ----. Please understand and, if possible, play along." That wasn't well worded, but you get the idea. You can hand them to the people he speaks with discreetly or maybe even incorporate it into something he would think of as a business card that he can hand out.

Just thoughts. You would, of course, have to tailor these ideas to your own needs.

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Wed Feb 29, 2012 2:27 pm
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Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:39 am
Posts: 98
Location: Victorville, CA
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
My John will start a project, like trying to find a plug connection that will work on the back of our new motorhome for towing the trailer. He gets out the maintenance manuels, finds the plug provided by the manufacturer, then can't plug it in. I show him how to plug it in, then he just starts comparing the older connections we used and tries to figure them out. He said we would probably have to hire it done. (I knew that!) He just goes round and round obsessing over it. I have to be very vigilant as this is the type of thing he always did with no problem before Lewy. He was a putzer and a fixer. He still thinks he can fix so he'll take something apart (or try to) and I'll have to put it back together. I worry that his sleeping all day is due to depression but if he's sleeping, he's not trying to fix something! Oh, and BTW, he doesn't drive the new motorhome. We traded in our large Class A, that he used to drive, and got a smaller one so that I could feel more secure doing the driving.

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Terri, spouse of John, officially DX dementia with Lewy Bodies, June, 2012, cognitive symptoms since 2007, active dreams for years before that.


Wed May 16, 2012 9:14 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
treewest1 wrote:
My John will start a project, like trying to find a plug connection that will work on the back of our new motorhome for towing the trailer. He gets out the maintenance manuels, finds the plug provided by the manufacturer, then can't plug it in. I show him how to plug it in, then he just starts comparing the older connections we used and tries to figure them out. He said we would probably have to hire it done. (I knew that!) He just goes round and round obsessing over it. I have to be very vigilant as this is the type of thing he always did with no problem before Lewy. He was a putzer and a fixer. He still thinks he can fix so he'll take something apart (or try to) and I'll have to put it back together. I worry that his sleeping all day is due to depression but if he's sleeping, he's not trying to fix something! Oh, and BTW, he doesn't drive the new motorhome. We traded in our large Class A, that he used to drive, and got a smaller one so that I could feel more secure doing the driving.
I could have written your post a few years ago. And it didn't just stop with the RV or other vehicles but wiring and plumbing in the house. Yikes!

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Wed May 16, 2012 9:32 am
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Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2012 5:00 pm
Posts: 78
Location: Fayetteville, NC
Post Re: Delusional "projects"
Ted's thing is flashlights. We ended up just buying them as presents for christmas, father's day, etc. Every time I took him to the commissary with me (military grocery store), he'd buy another disposable one. I just gave up talking him out of it and would find them in different places. I have to laugh remembering when I'd find them in the pockets of his pants and shorts when doing the laundry.

Ted's in the nursing home now and we're trying to adjust still. It pains me so much. Had a bad day the other day and I was so depressed, but then yesterday was good. I was able to have a good visit and we shared a laugh together. But, he still has delusions constantly and I just try to go along with them (painful as it is). Different themes crop up at different times. Even though my sister is vacationing in Hawaii, every day Ted asks me if she's ok--he thinks she got beaten up and was left out in the rain last week. I keep gently telling him that she's fine & still in Hawaii having a wonderful trip. He also still talks about meetings, those people in the chairs. I couldn't get him in to a Parkinson's support group meeting one time because he insisted that "they" were coming to get him and that I was "in" on the plan. He kept this going no matter what I tried. "They" show up at different times and he's tried to shoo us all out of the house at all hours of the night or day because of it.

I had to talk with the staff UR nurse after Ted's last episode (yes, he fell again but this time didn't have to go to the ER) about how we/they could try redirecting him from his delusions (the nurse was trying to help him and he'd slammed the door on her.) Since Ted was a Special Forces medic during his military career and also a respiratory care instructor after he retired, we agreed perhaps utilizing a "commander" who can possibly override the folks he's thinking are running a mission or instructing something could help the staff. Heck, who knows what will work, but we'll try anything.

Sometimes I find strength only in looking back at things--while I'm in the moment, I feel utterly helpless that I've done any good. I can't even to find a way to respond to some of the weird stories that have some tracking to them (weather conditions, people/family involved that are real) and worry that I'm missing something that's bothering him. It's truly a roller coaster. I hope you can find strength as I am knowing that other people really are experiencing so many of the things I've been dealing with for so many years. You all are a Godsend.


Wed May 16, 2012 1:13 pm
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