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 Cleaning Out the Old Homestead 
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3113
Location: Vermont
Post Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
It is so odd to be dismantling my parents house which they built in 1952 and lived in most of their adult lives. What do you do with all the stuff? Most of the valuable things are going to relatives and friends, but it is so weird and sad having to deal with drivers' licenses, passports, eyeglasses, mom's needlework equipment, my dad's tools and other things that are not "worth" anything but seem like such personal items.
This is another lesson to me about cleaning out my stuff so my kids don't have to do it someday; not collecting anymore is another thing I hope I remember not to do!
I just donated my dad's wheelchair and some other items he needed in his last year to the American Legion, which lends medical equipment to members and their families. Even that was kind of sad since it was my dad's only means of transportation his last year and a half.
I will be glad to have this job all done by Mon. night and be on my way to the southwest. It is getting pretty depressing. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:26 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
It's nice of you to donate your dad's wheelchair to others!


Sat Jan 29, 2011 7:42 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Even now, Lynn... with Dale's current essentials being a wheelchair, a urinal, bed baths, crushed pills, diapers, and cut up food in small portions, I'm also at the stage of packing up what he will never use again. I still can't part with his dancing shoes. It makes me cry to think about it.

My sister and I did it following my mothers death just a few months ago. She did it with her husband's death two years ago. I agree and sympathize with you. It's sad and very depressing.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Sat Jan 29, 2011 8:08 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3173
Location: WA
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Leone, I can't get rid of Derek's golf clubs for the same reason. :cry:

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Jan 29, 2011 9:08 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3113
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
There are some things we just need to hold on to, and I think that's ok. My mom died 13 years ago, and today my husband said "I think it's time to clean off the top of your mom's dresser after all these years." Neither my dad, my sister nor I could go through the stuff before this. Can you imagine - 13 years? Most people would think we were crazy, but her death was so sudden and traumatizing. But, it is time to let go of many things.
I think I must have a drivers' license and passport fetish or something, because I cannot bring myself to throw those things out. I have saved them from other relatives too, and I'm thinking about making a memory collage out of those and some other family things that I just hate to put in a trash can.
Tomorrow one of my cousins is coming over and any of the family heirlooms from that side of the family that we don't want will go back to be shared among her and her 3 sisters and their kids. I hate to have family things that are nice end up in an antique store or junk shop.
Leone - I did start cleaning things out of here when my dad went into the hospital in summer 2009. I knew he would never be able to come home again. Thank goodness I did as much cleaning out as I did since then, because I don't know how we are going to get everything done between now and Tues. when we all leave here. (and the floor refinisher starts the next day!)
I think when we start moving the rest of the furniture out on Mon. it's really going to be traumatic, because the house will look so different on the inside. I am glad my sister is going to move in here. It would be really hard to say goodbye to our family home now too. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:05 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Lynn,
Yes this is a hard time with dealing with parents treasures, I still can't part with a few of the things, like you say not worth anything but it was their personal items.

Donating the DME was great , at least someone will use them.

Soon this will be all behind you and you can start on your travels !
Good Luck!

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Irene Selak


Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:06 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3113
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
The Legion didn't want some of the DME so I am wondering who else might want the rest of that stuff. Any ideas anyone?
We have taken carloads of towels, blankets, sheets, bedspreads to the animal shelter which the staff really appreciated. We've taken carloads of clothing and household items to Women in Need and another 2nd hand shop. I hate to throw decent things out so we are trying to donate as much as we can.
I did make myself laugh A LOT this afternoon when cleaning out clothes from a closet. In the bottom of an old garment bag was one of those mink scarves that women used to wear - you know where one poor mink is "biting" the one in front of it and there are about 5 minks that form a circle? My sister was in the same room and I was digging around the bottom of a dark closet and said "what the #$%^ is this thing? Then I screamed and threw it at her." She screamed and jumped about 5 feet backwards. I thought it was hilarious, and then did it again about 30 min. later with some other mink thing I found. We both laughed so hard and she says now I have paid her back for all the horrible things she did to me when we were kids. I think not. I still owe her BIG TIME. LOL :lol:

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:17 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3173
Location: WA
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Is there an Area Agency on Aging? They would know.

I always thought those mink stoles [or is that a mink 'boa'] were creepy. Maybe you should wear it, Lynn--start a new fashion. Of course, you'd have PETA after you... :lol:

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:22 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Yes I like Pat's idea, I think you should wear it too !

DME : Have you tried any of the local churches, there's where I took some of it and another was the Lions club, for glasses and hearing aides !

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Irene Selak


Sat Jan 29, 2011 10:46 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 609
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
I saved my mother's driver license, passports and similar documents, too, even though there is no way she will ever need or want them. Of course, she is still living, but she doesn't want to look at family photos, let alone anything of her own history. But if I had found any of those mink stoles, I would have had no problem tossing them out!

The only positive thing about the house clean-out was that my sister and I spent several days together working on it, and after living thousands of miles apart for most of our adult lives, it was a nice bonding experience. So many things brought back nice memories.

Julianne


Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:11 am
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Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:28 pm
Posts: 694
Location: LA
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Schools could use some of the vintage clothing/accessories for stage productions.

drP


Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:31 am
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Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2007 5:35 pm
Posts: 343
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Lynn, you are in my thoughts.
Pat

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Pat Snyder, husband John, dx LBD 2007
Author of [i]Treasures in the Darkness: Extending Early Stage of LBD...[i][/i] [url]http://www.amazon.com/Treasures-Darkness-Extending-Alzheimers-Parkinsons/dp/1466428228/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1334092686&sr=8-1[/url]


Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:39 am
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Our COA has wheel chairs, walkers and the like to loan out, you check there.

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Gerry 67, cared for Frank 71, married 49 yrs; dx 2004, passed away October 26, 2011.


Sun Jan 30, 2011 7:35 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3113
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
Thanks for all the great suggestions!
Re: the mink items - my husband is allergic to fur and I don't believe in killing animals just to wear their fur. However, the Russian fox hat, the mink scarf, mink collar, etc. were purchased 40 - 50 years ago by my mother and sister. I think my friends would get a big laugh if I showed up in one of these ridiculous things, especially the scarf with minks biting each other. I am definitely going to wear that to something when I get home. I just hope I don't get attacked by anti-fur people, a pit bull or a wild animal! LOL

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sun Jan 30, 2011 8:35 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3173
Location: WA
Post Re: Cleaning Out the Old Homestead
And Lynn, I simply must have a picture! :P

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sun Jan 30, 2011 10:45 am
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