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 How to cope? 
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Joined: Fri Jul 26, 2013 4:33 pm
Posts: 1
Post How to cope?
How can anyone live with the constant behavior issues. Do all LBD patients think they are perfect, and go into a rage if told otherwise. How can I live with always being griped at. I've been through cancer treatment since October, and I've still worked, and taken care of him, but all he can do is tell me how mean I am, and spout insults. I don't want to be here anymore, but he can't take care of himself. I have long-term care insurance. At what point can I send him to assisted living? Don't say to asked for help from family, they've already said they can't help me.


Last edited by amya1 on Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:36 pm, edited 1 time in total.



Sat Jul 27, 2013 3:30 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: How to cope
I truly do feel your pain. My husband is also a mean Lewy who is insulting, combative and abusive. While I know it's not his fault, it is very wearing. VERY wearing, in addition to the physical work involved. My husband has been in a skilled nursing facility for two and a half years since I became unable physically to manage him at home. While I still love him very much, visit every day and help with his meals and care, it's a relief to leave and come home. You can only take so much. :cry:

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Jul 27, 2013 5:55 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3363
Location: Vermont
Post Re: How to cope
The dr. can determine if he needs to be in an ALF or SNF and if the dr. approves, as far as I can tell, then the LTC insurance should pay. Most of them have a 90-day "waiting" period, so you'll have to pay out of pocket for the first 3 months, but you should be able to collect on the insurance after that. My dad was also pretty angry and frustrated a good part of the time after he was put on Aricept and Namenda, because those drugs made him more aware of how bad off he was physically and mentally. He would fly into rages quite often, or have terrible sobbing periods where he cried uncontrollably. Unlike many of the LOs with dementia who are fairly content and docile, some are not. I am sorry for what you are going through. It is heartbreaking, exhausting and it is not likely to ever get better. The best thing you can probably do is see if you can get a dr.'s approval for an ALF and move him where he can get the help he needs and let you be able to take care of yourself in a more peaceful home. It isn't fair for your health to suffer, especially when no matter what you do you are met with negativity and anger. Big hug to you, Lynn

PS - you may want to move your posting to the area that best fits it. I think this one is for people to make connections with one another in your geographical area. You'll get more responses if you post in the appropriate topic area.

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sat Jul 27, 2013 6:08 pm
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Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 3:53 pm
Posts: 261
Post Re: How to cope?
Welcome to the forum! I'm sorry you have to deal with the most difficult side of LBD. If you post in the Introduction section and give us a bit of background on your situation, it might be helpful. It does sound like you have alot to deal with. The one thing I found with my mom was that things always changed - so hopefully there's a positive change in store for you!

_________________
Gail, Forum Moderator & daughter of Doris who passed away Dec. 2010 after living with LBD for 7 years.


Mon Jul 29, 2013 9:51 pm
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