View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Wed Nov 26, 2014 8:30 pm



Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 
 Depression and Denial? 
Author Message

Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:33 am
Posts: 3
Location: Palm Springs, CA
Post Depression and Denial?
Hi, all. I've posted on here about my mother who has LBD but is high-functioning and keeps wanting to move. It seems that she fixates on a pet issue, such as being in a locked facility and having her freedom reduced (or eliminated, as she thinks) and talks about little else. I'm having a hard time with her accusing me of being wrong to have her in a memory care facility because she is in fact more high functioning than almost all of the others in there. I've discovered that there would be legal issues involved with her moving to a non-locked facility, so as POA, I am not giving consent to that possibility. She is aiming, therefore, to remove my POA status, which I doubt she will be able to do...

What I'm wondering is, is this depression which might benefit from treatment? Do any of you have experience with anti-depressants with your LOs? Or is it just a necessary stage of LBD (including denial, as she is convinced her diagnosis is wrong) and something she just has to get through? Also, how have you dealt with the denial issue with your LO? Thanks! Joel

_________________
46 y.o. son of 81 y.o woman with LBD, diagnosed summer of 2013


Fri Feb 28, 2014 3:23 pm
Profile

Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 3:53 pm
Posts: 305
Post Re: Depression and Denial?
Hi, I think that's one of the trickiest parts of LBD is the fluctuating ability level. I know at one point my Mom just wanted us to rent her a room somewhere so she could have her own place. And she kept on that for a long time. At one point, when things were too tough to keep her at home even with a nanny, we were looking into moving Mom into a memory care ward. After visiting most every facility I could see that even at this late stage of LBD, my Mom would be much higher functioning than most people in the memory care wards. We had decided though, that we couldn't handle everything at home, so would have to make the move and then supplement with extra care and our visits at the facility. As it turned out, Mom never made it there but that was the plan.

I think fixating on one issue or another is common with LBD. Maybe looking to control something when everything else is out of control? You could definitely talk to the doctor about any meds that might help but as you'll read through out this forum anyone with LBD is especially sensitive to any change in medication and some meds specifically.

_________________
Gail, Forum Moderator & daughter of Doris who passed away Dec. 2010 after living with LBD for 7 years.


Mon Mar 03, 2014 4:44 pm
Profile

Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3432
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Depression and Denial?
My dad was on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds and it was hard to know if they were helping or not. How much worse (or better) might he have been without them? Hard to know. If you just try to reassure her that you are on her side and working with her drs. to get her the help she needs, hopefully she will calm down and trust that you are doing the right thing. Maybe that will work… If not, anti-anxiety meds may be what she needs, or needs more of. I told my dad over and over when he was angry for being in an ALF or whatever his latest anger issue was, that I was working as hard as I could with his drs. to find something that would help him. It often calmed in him down, but not always. Some days there was just no settling him down and I'd have to remove myself. Good luck, Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Thu Mar 20, 2014 4:44 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:32 pm
Posts: 6
Post Re: Depression and Denial?
Hi all,
In my experience denial is a huge issue and a huge problem for me because my husband doesn't think anything is wrong...the falling, the inappropriate remarks (sexual), the fluctuating cognition. The denial is the worst for me because it makes me feel like Henny Penny running around saying the sky is falling--especially when others don't see the worst and think he is "ok" or will get better...
Elizabeth


Tue Apr 22, 2014 7:17 pm
Profile

Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 3:53 pm
Posts: 305
Post Re: Depression and Denial?
Elizabeth - that is Lewy - you see it but it takes you a while to realize it's there and your LO never sees it and then when you try to explain the symptoms to a doctor or anyone else your LO appears fine and you start to think you're loosing it... But you're not, that's just Lewy. Hang in there!

_________________
Gail, Forum Moderator & daughter of Doris who passed away Dec. 2010 after living with LBD for 7 years.


Fri Apr 25, 2014 12:51 am
Profile

Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2014 9:32 pm
Posts: 6
Post Re: Depression and Denial?
I am having a really hard time dealing with my husband's denial...and his clingy behavior...I have a fulltime caregiver hired so that I can have some peace, but even then he denies he has any limitations and is often angry with me for not ''doing enough'' or spending enough time with him...literally driving me crazy at times.


Wed May 14, 2014 8:22 pm
Profile

Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3432
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Depression and Denial?
Elizabeth - it is really hard, I know, but try to remind yourself that this is the disease talking, not your husband. He has no control over thoughts, speech, etc. because his brain has these foreign bodies which are changing everything he does, thinks, says, etc. You cannot reason with people who have dementia because their reality is not the same as our reality. Try to take a deep breath, relax and do what needs to be done as best you can. Arguing with someone who is not in touch with reality is just going to make you both angry and anxious. It isn't easy, and I've never been a spouse CG, which has to be a very difficult place to be. It did take me a while to get accustomed to the role reversal with my dad. I had to become the parent when he was acting childlike or making irrational decisions. That wasn't easy either, but eventually we fell into our new roles and he became totally dependent on me as he was becoming more childlike. Big hug, hang in there, and come back as often as you need for support. Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed May 14, 2014 8:45 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 7 posts ] 

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.
Localized by Maël Soucaze © 2010 phpBB.fr