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 Assisted living vs. Memory care 
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Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:33 am
Posts: 3
Location: Palm Springs, CA
Post Assisted living vs. Memory care
Hi, all. New to the forum here. My mother was diagnosed last summer with LBD, and had been living in assisted living (non-memory care). She seemed very willing to go into a memory care situation, and I moved her into one. An increase in her dosage of the exelon patch has yielded good results; she no longer is preoccupied with the hallucinations she was seeing, and is quite a bit more lucid. However, she now feels that she is well enough to move to a non-memory care situation. I'm wary about this, because she was diagnosed with LBD. Also, every time she has moved somewhere, she has wanted to move again almost immediately because she is unhappy and blames it on the place where she is living. Hope that makes sense. Any feedback is appreciated.

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46 y.o. son of 81 y.o woman with LBD, diagnosed summer of 2013


Wed Jan 08, 2014 1:48 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3430
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Assisted living vs. Memory care
Moving, for any of us, is traumatic, and I can only imagine being older and moving to a place, not because I wanted to, but because it was necessary to. Personally, I would recommend against moving her yet again - this is not a disease that will get better, and it is likely she will have new or worsening symptoms, possibly a lot sooner than you might think. Perhaps you can gently suggest to her that you wait "a few weeks" to see how she's doing and then see what her dr. recommends. If she is like most people with LBD, her sense of time isn't working and you can just repeat this in the future if you have to.

Are there things that you can do in her new room to make her feel more "at home"? Does she have her own furniture and things on the wall that she is used to? Old, familiar items may help her adjust, and if you have already tried that, I'm not sure what else you can do other than try to reassure her and grin and bear it as best you can. It is not easy nor painless to move our LOs because of their illness and/or aging difficulties. Good luck, Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Jan 08, 2014 3:31 pm
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Joined: Wed Jan 08, 2014 11:33 am
Posts: 3
Location: Palm Springs, CA
Post Re: Assisted living vs. Memory care
Thanks for your reply.

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46 y.o. son of 81 y.o woman with LBD, diagnosed summer of 2013


Thu Jan 09, 2014 8:26 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Assisted living vs. Memory care
Jodo, assuming you have medical power of attorney for your mother, it is up to you to make decisions for her that she is no longer able to make. And I think you know what the right decision is. God bless!

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Fri Jan 10, 2014 12:52 pm
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Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 3:53 pm
Posts: 292
Post Re: Assisted living vs. Memory care
Hi Jodo, I would agree that moving is traumatic and I don't think moving will actually stop your mother from wanting to move. I had many, many conversations with my Mom where she just wanted to move to a little house somewhere and she could take care of herself just fine. Many days she'd be mad that I didn't make that happen but the idea would pass.

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Gail, Forum Moderator & daughter of Doris who passed away Dec. 2010 after living with LBD for 7 years.


Wed Jan 15, 2014 11:09 pm
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Joined: Sun Mar 02, 2014 9:38 pm
Posts: 6
Post Re: Assisted living vs. Memory care
Moving to memory care before it is really needed can be very depressing. I think it is best to wait until it is really needed and the person is not really aware and just tell them that it is just temporary. We had my parents in assisted living that had a separate memory care area. We got my dad in gradually. First he only spent this nights there. This allowed my mother to get sleep because he was up all night and kept her awake. The people in memory care were all in very bad shape. There was not one that you could have a meaningful conversation with. I thought my father would never get that bad. However, after only 6 more months of LBD he fit right in. Being there is much more depressing to us than to him. He seems to be relatively happy. The caregivers are all saints.

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Son of 83 year old father with Parkensons and LBD since 75. Now in assisted living memory care.


Tue Mar 04, 2014 12:24 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3430
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Assisted living vs. Memory care
Sometimes I would have to tell my dad "you'll be able to move back home when you are able to do…. again". That gave him hope, even thought I knew there was no hope. It would quiet him down for a while and he'd feel more at peace. Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Thu Mar 20, 2014 4:39 pm
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