View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Fri Oct 24, 2014 5:48 am



Reply to topic  [ 7 posts ] 
 processing information 
Author Message

Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:01 pm
Posts: 79
Post processing information
Hello all :)
I have had a recent problem with my Mom's great granddaughter. Actually it's Mom's interaction with her. Emma is 2 1/2 year old and very active. We never leave them in a room alone because Mom tries to pick her up and needless to say, that doesn't go well. Anyway, there have been times when the baby has picked up something off a table (box of kleenex, newspaper, some small object) and Mom doesn't want her to have it, or I don't really know why, but she will grab the baby's wrist kind of tight and I will say "it's okay Mom, she won't hurt it, let her go", she doesn't respond, I say again "let go of the baby", no response , I always have to go and peel her fingers from around the baby's wrist. Is this just a problem processing what we are saying to her? It happens alot and my daughter is getting upset and thinking my Mom is trying to hurt or punish the baby. I know that is not the case, but should I just save my breath and just go over and take her hand away? I try to communicate verbally as much as possible, I don't want to stop speaking to her. Any ideas?


Wed Oct 04, 2006 8:59 pm
Profile
Post 
Dear Sallyanne,
I am thinking with a 2 yr old running around it is adding to your Mother's confusion and her mind can't process what's happening.
I always found with my husband if I kept things quiet and on even keel things went better for him, but if we threw in visits from our children with the little ones Jim couldn't take all the confusion.
I would be very careful with the little one around and as you say never leave them alone, Your Mother is not in control of her actions. :(


Wed Oct 04, 2006 11:19 pm

Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:05 pm
Posts: 51
Location: Houston, TX
Post 
Sallyann,
My mom has the same problem with my grandchildren. All are active children and yes, that means they get noisy too. I know my mom loves her great grandchildren, but after about 5 minutes of a supervised visit she gets very aggravated if they don't just sit down and be quiet and act like young adults instead of children. I will take the oldest with me to see her. She's almost five and Mom knows her the best. Even at 4 years old I don't ever leave them unsupervised. The 2 year old and the 10 month old are just too much for her to take.
I have had to try to educate my daughter and son about the illness Mom has. They of course have busy lives of thier own and don't spend a lot of time around Mom. Sometimes I think my grown children have as much trouble processing information as Mom. But really I think they are just in denial. They don't want thier Grandma to be any different than they knew her as children. But I do think the best thing would to be to try and get your daughter to understand more about your mother's confusion. More than one conversation going on at a time is enough to leave my mom exhausted.
Jennifer


Thu Oct 05, 2006 9:58 am
Profile
Post 
Hi Jennifer,
You are right on with these thoughts!
Exactly my sentiments!


Thu Oct 05, 2006 5:48 pm

Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:01 pm
Posts: 79
Post grandchildren
Thanks for the suggestions. We had already decided that she needs watching as much as the toddler :wink: I think I am mostly frustrated that in addition to giving up our home and our structured lives, we are unable to have our grand baby visit without it causing a problem. I am not as bitter as I sound. I love my Mom dearly. It's just as time goes on, she's not really my Mom. Just some lady that lives with us and doesn't know us. That is the part I miss, our Mother-Daughter relationship :(
Sallyann


Sat Oct 07, 2006 2:31 pm
Profile
Post 
Dear Sallyanne,
Of course you miss your Mother, that's very normal. Caregiving has a way of wearing you down.Your mother is still very much with you but not able to control what she does or says. Maybe as far as the little one you can set aside a special time to be with her, maybe when her Mom brings her to visit you can spend time with the baby and your Daughter or Daughter in law which ever can spend time with your Mother!
I know if you give this thought you will find a way to visit with the little one! :)


Sat Oct 07, 2006 5:45 pm

Joined: Fri Jul 21, 2006 1:05 pm
Posts: 51
Location: Houston, TX
Post 
Sallyanne,

I could never dream of giving up time with my grandchildren. They are literally the sunshine of my life. When ever there is friction between what Mom needs and what the grand kids need however, I have to tell my kids that the only person I defend harder than my grandchildren is my mother. So some how we find a way to do yet another balancing act. :roll: It doesn't always come out right. But all we can do is try, and not beat ourselves up when we can't make every thing OK for everyone. I truly wish you luck in balancing time with your mom and time with the baby. I know both are truly worth the effort.

My thoughts are with you,
Jennifer


Wed Oct 11, 2006 4:44 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 7 posts ] 

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.
Localized by MaĆ«l Soucaze © 2010 phpBB.fr