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 Newbie Q's 
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Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2007 10:57 am
Posts: 2
Location: Baltimore, MD
Post Newbie Q's
Greetings. This is my first post. I'm so relieved to have found this resource!

My MIL is 83 and was diagnosed with PD nearly 8 yrs. ago. Her dementia began around the same time. She lives independently (a very poor decision in my view) about 20 min. away.

My first question is whether any of you can recommend any children's books to explain LBD. My DH and I have 2 young daughters (ages 3 and 5) and I'm growing tired of trying to explain PD and LBD. The flucuations are particularly difficult to explain--one minute grandma is unresponsive, mask faced, and unable to move. A few minutes later she's appropriate and telling funny stories of her own childhood. Perhaps even more difficult to explain are her delusions. (We got Nana Upstairs; Nana Downstairs by Tomi DePoula which is excellent, but doesn't really reflect our situation.)

My second question is what advice you may have for the DIL in a difficult situation. While I want to support my DH, I disagree with the decisions he and his brother make sometimes. I understand that they want to do what their mother wants, but I think there's a point when if the person can't make his or her own decisions (or safe ones) that they should no longer be asked to decide. My BIL recently gained durable power of attorney (which took more than 5 years of cajoling). But he's out of state and of no use in day to day affairs.

I could start to rant, but I'll retrain myself. :roll:

TIA!

Christine


Mon Jun 25, 2007 11:17 am
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Dear Ellamama,
Welcome to the LBD forums, I am glad you found us! I must say it is very hard to deal with several family members at once, they all want whats best for their Mother I am sure, so my advice to you is to help educate them, print things and show them how this illness can be, I don't say that your Mother in law will get every single one of the LBD issues but it is fair guess from what you have written that she has some. A role reversal between a parent and a child is sometimes very hard. As to a Book for children that age I haven't seen anything around but perhaps someone else may know of something here and be more helpful to you. :?


Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:23 pm

Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 9:33 pm
Posts: 18
Location: Walker,La.
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Ellamama
I too would love to find a children's book on LBD.My mother took my 10 year old aside Sunday and began to tell him that I was using drugs and was soon going to leave for rehab! She told him that she would be enrolling him in a new school and they were going to live in a new home until I was better.Of course my son knows better and is very aware of the daily problems his grandmother faces.but it still had to affect him somewhat.
It amazes me as to what tales these patients can come up with.They're always dark and dramatic....for Mom anyway.She has much younger great grandchildren that would benefit from a book as well.For now though,I suppose we'll have to do our best in explaining the situation.
Kay


Mon Jun 25, 2007 9:44 pm
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Joined: Mon Jun 25, 2007 10:57 am
Posts: 2
Location: Baltimore, MD
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Thanks for your responses thus far. Among the ironies of my MIL's illness is that both her children are neurologists--whose research is in memory and dementia. As such, I think they may know "too much for their own good". E.g., during Thanksgiving dinner she insisted there was a face in the wall, "Who is that?!" My DH and BIL got into an arguement about whether she was having a delusion or a hallucination. :shock:

Kay--I'm glad your 10 y.o. could figure out fact from fiction! We're struggling with our kids to promote the idea of respecting adults--at the same time we ignore my MIL's delusional assertions (e.g., I should send my kids to the "day camp next door" (there is none).

Although my MIL still lives on her own, her situation is so awful that when EMS responded a couple years ago they filed an elder neglect report. Because she scored okay on the minimental exam it was deemed "self neglect" and they just encouraged her to accept help. Yesterday I tried to clean a portion of her kitchen counter and cleared about 1/4 cup of mouse poop. (This is her kitchen "with help".)

Thanks for reading and responding.


Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:08 pm
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