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 Combative/Belligerent Behavior 
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
I'm sorry you've had to go through this as have many of us with Lewy loved ones. IMHO, having a spouse with LBD is harder than anything else because the one you most love, depend on, trust--your life companion!-- is suddenly replaced with a violent and paranoid stranger. Sad and scary. And very, very lonely. :cry: God bless you and all of us and our poor loved ones, too. What a nightmare they must be enduring.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sun Oct 20, 2013 9:54 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3345
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
Welcome, Pat. It sounds like you've been reading the forum for a while, so hopefully you've gotten a lot of helpful info. It is hard to place a LO in a facility no matter what the circumstances. But then if you ask yourself "if my LO were functioning like when s/he was healthy, would s/he want me to be at risk physically, mentally, emotionally?" Having this disease affect 1 person in the family is bad enough, but when others who are CGs risk their own health and safety, it just doesn't make any sense for the person to be at home anymore. Knowing he is in a place where he is receiving good care is as good as it gets at the point where you all are. I'm glad you are safe and can get the rest you need without being awakened all night long and without feeling like your life is in danger. It's a tough, tough road - I hope you can now breathe a little more deeply and take care of yourself in ways that you couldn't when you were the full time CG. Big hug, Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:04 am
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Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 3:53 pm
Posts: 251
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
Welcome to the Forum, Patlu! It sure sounds like you've done everything right. Getting your LO into a care centre where he's taken care of by professionals and where you can visit but leave when the awful behaviours start, is, I think a very smart way to deal with LBD. So take some time for yourself - the transition - any transition- is never easy but I'm sure you need to regenerate some so get your rest and something to take your mind of LBD. And then you can go and visit and deal with what is!
Take Care!

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Gail, Forum Moderator & daughter of Doris who passed away Dec. 2010 after living with LBD for 7 years.


Fri Oct 25, 2013 5:03 pm
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Joined: Wed May 22, 2013 8:49 pm
Posts: 4
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
Can't tell you all how much this forum has helped me understand this horrific disease. My beloved still does not understand why he is where he is and of course, beseeches my daily to come home. On good days I am so torn. However, even the staff at his facility have seen the dark side of Lewy. And of course he doesn't remember those episodes.

I hope I can recommend a book that was given to me by a family member called the " To Survive Caregiving" . It is on Amazon. The hardest thing I deal with now is what is called the living grief. I am still married but single. I feel the pain every time I leave him. He is slowly disappearing. There is so much headache with this disease.


Sun Nov 03, 2013 9:26 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3345
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
I'm so sorry for what you are going through, Patricia. It is a difficult road, and being a spouse has its own unique heartaches. Big hugs, Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sun Nov 03, 2013 10:16 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:15 pm
Posts: 8
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
I feel so badly for those of you whose spouse has LBD. I am "lucky" in that it is my Mom that has LBD. My wonderful husband has now started going in to the nursing home with me each day. Mom is now at the combative, angry, violent, belligerent, completely frustrated, and horribly distressed stage of LBD. When her roller coaster comes back up to the "top" she doesn't remember anything about the intervening bad days. She stopped eating Oct 19th and now takes in about an average of 300 kcal per day. She was started on Seroquel 75mg/day a week ago.
With the helpful and sad experience that so many of you have, could you share how long this "phase" lasts?
Thank you,
Judy


Sun Nov 17, 2013 4:58 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3345
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
Judy - it's so hard to predict anything about stages in this disease. Is your mom receiving hospice services? If so, they may have a better clue about her expected longevity. If she isn't on hospice, you may want to have her evaluated and start receiving services if she passes their requirements. Is she being weighed regularly? How much is she sleeping every day on average?

If she was totally not eating or drinking anything, it could be a few days to a couple of weeks.

The aggressive behavior is a very difficult thing to deal with. Have her drs. offered any other types of drugs? Is she in a place where she can't harm others? Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sun Nov 17, 2013 5:05 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 25, 2013 9:15 pm
Posts: 8
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
Lynn, thanks so much for your help. My mother is almost completely incapacitated by strokes and has been in our local nursing home for just over 2 years. She hasn't been able to coordinate her muscles in order to stand for a year...and can't even sit up without support anymore. She can't turn over in bed or even straighten her legs. On some days she can get a spoon or cup to her mouth and other days she can't. She is becoming progressively more anxious and distressed...and paranoid. She was started on Aricept in August which seemed to decrease her terror-filled delusions. But a month ago she took a real nosedive and is now never without delusions and hallucinations. We and the nurses have tried every intervention to try to calm her distress, including visits and sacraments from the priest each week. She is in a single room now because of the yelling. She loves the room as it has a wonderful calming view that she much enjoys. But the distress and fear escalates almost daily. So, a week ago Seroquel was started. It relaxes her for only a half hour. At my request, the dose was increased today. She started swinging at the aides and at me this weekend. (As a retired pharmacist I feel the potential benefits outweigh the risks of the drug). She is calling out "get the doctor" "get my daughter in here" etc. over and over during spells each day. She insists that there is "NOTHING WRONG WITH ME!!" and why won't they let her walk, get her out of the chair, she can walk because she can walk to town in her delusions. She cries because she can't convince me that she can walk as her delusions tell her. I have a "do not disagree" policy and when I try to lighten up the subject she cries and wales in agony..."you don't understand" "this is hell" "I want to die" "you want me to die" "get out of here". I tried someone's suggestion that a doctor or someone tell her that she is ill and that she can't walk but she just thinks that no one understands and that we are all against her...it just made her more paranoid.
Two weeks ago she decided that she was pregnant. In her mind she isn't 92 but about 32. This weekend she told me she has the baby but "they took it away from me and won't let me see it." You can just imagine how distressful this is to her!!
We can all see that she is losing weight...the nurses and aides are so good to her and they bring her anything she wants and work so hard to encourage her to eat. I don't know how much weight she has lost...I'll ask. Every 3 or 4 days she will actually eat most of breakfast...other days she eats nothing. Thankfully she drinks a lot of water most days.
She is very safe and loved in our nursing home. Her distress and agony is causing the aides to be distressed...they are human, too. I am in contact with hospice and hope this will help.


Mon Nov 18, 2013 5:32 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3345
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Combative/Belligerent Behavior
I'm glad you are going to have hospice evaluate your mom. This should give you some information about what stage they think she's in, and possibly suggestions for other meds. I do know of a few people in very late stage who were extremely distressed, belligerent, combative, etc. and the family and drs. really struggled with how to help the person. Let's hope something helps your mom.

Would it help to get her a doll or stuffed animal? One of the family members on this forum did that for her mom. It helped calm her for a while, until she decided she didn't want it anymore. But it was helpful for a while. Her mom thought she was young and had a baby too.

Best, Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Mon Nov 18, 2013 8:14 pm
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