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 will it ever sink in? 
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 9:58 am
Posts: 6
Location: St. Paul, MN
Post will it ever sink in?
I am the "information gatherer" in our family. My aunt visited Grandpa yesterday (her father) and talked about some of the confused thoughts Grandpa has:

"Dad was very confused and complained of aches and pains relating to his fall. He asks for Mom almost constantly, and cannot understand why she can’t stay at the nursing home with him. I went over the need for separate quarters again with him, but he is not tracking. Mom is devastated at having to explain the whole arrangement to him each time she leaves, feeling that she is abandoning him. It’s very tough.

He thinks that the physical therapist is his insurance agent who holds several large policies on him. When he was reminded that the fellow was a physical therapist, he thought that he might be moonlighting at that job."

I asked about confusion in another post, and my advice to the family (based on a variety of resources) was to gently correct if possible, but if not, don't argue, validate him so he knows he is being heard and doesn't get frustrated and agitated by feeling ignored, and change things up a little. Go for a walk, have a snack, turn on some music or TV, change the subject. Don't necessarily agree with him, as he may remember that!

Still, the hardest part is to try to get Grandma and Grandpa through their separation. Grandpa doesn't' understand, Grandma is guilty and sad.

Thanks for listening to me ramble - here's my question: will it ever sink in for Grandpa (understanding the separation from Grandma)? Does repetition help? Will he perhaps be told on the brink of a more lucid moment, and it will stick? Or is what is happening now more representative of how things will go from now on?

Thanks for your input....

_________________
With Gratitude, Amy
Granddaughter, seeking information for beloved 87 YO Grandfather, advanced LBD


Fri May 25, 2007 9:49 am
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Post Re: will it ever sink in?
[quote="alengsfeld"] here's my question: will it ever sink in for Grandpa (understanding the separation from Grandma)? Does repetition help? Will he perhaps be told on the brink of a more lucid moment, and it will stick? Or is what is happening now more representative of how things will go from now on?

Dear Amy,
I am sure repetiton will not help, I think what is happening now is going to be it. You could just keep telling him you are waiting for him to improve before you can think of the next step. I thinking giving him some hope is best in this case! :)


Fri May 25, 2007 8:56 pm

Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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And was there no facility where they could live closer by....in the same buidling or in the same complex?


Sat May 26, 2007 2:11 am
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Joined: Tue May 22, 2007 9:58 am
Posts: 6
Location: St. Paul, MN
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They only live about two miles apart, and my Grandma really shouldn't drive but she does. In their small town there really is no other option. Their one bedroom apartment in the assisted living facility is too small to have a nurse/caregiver there full time, and even if it was bigger, there are just no caregivers available, especially for overnight. Frustrating!

_________________
With Gratitude, Amy
Granddaughter, seeking information for beloved 87 YO Grandfather, advanced LBD


Thu May 31, 2007 12:36 pm
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