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 guardianship 
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: guardianship
Is that guardianship of her person, or of her finances, or both? Until today I didn't know there was more than one kind, so now I am curious.

In any case, I am glad the results were what you wanted.

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Tue Jun 12, 2012 11:00 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: guardianship
Congratulations, I think. Sounds like everyone did the right thing.


Tue Jun 12, 2012 11:51 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 610
Post Re: guardianship
Congrats, what a relief that she was found in need of guardianship. Of course this doesn't solve everything but it should be a big step forward.

Julianne


Wed Jun 13, 2012 11:01 am
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Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:14 pm
Posts: 36
Post Re: guardianship
Concerning my mom's sister.......her daughters are watching her closely. Apparently, she is having some "confusion" and tremors. They talked her out of coming and convinced her that it cost too much to come. I'm hoping that will be the end of it, but mom is apparently calling her regularly. She says she is anyway.

I have no idea what type of guardianship I have as of yet. My lawyer is still waiting for the paper work and someone from the clerk of court's office only called to let us know that he was giving me guardianship of some sort so........we are still waiting. I'm guessing it will be several days. It was for my father.

Yesterday, during the hearing, the 3 ladies "over there" and she had discussed all the problems at the Assisted Living. The "3 ladies" weren't there. That was a pretty defining moment in the hearing. Still, I had no idea that you could hallucinate and yet still be declared competent in some areas. Shows how little I understand about the court system.

She also told a story about how Dad was having anxiety attacks and the medicine "they" were giving him was making him so dizzy that he had to have help walking. I e-mailed the nurse at the AL this morning. Dad has not had any anxiety attacks and "they" have given him no medicine. Can't believe I fell for that yesterday. I was actually going to fuss somewhat for them giving him medication without letting me know. Shows how tricky Lewy can be!

This morning, she tried to get the nurse to call Dial-a-lift for her to come home and "get some things." She plans to come home, sell her furniture and buy a "little house" with the money she makes. So sad.

I am actually so relieved to know that I can take care of them both now and keep them safe. i know it is going to be terribly difficult and she will hate me for it, but some things we do are just right. When my kids were young, tough love was hard, but I'm finding it to be even harder with aging parents and Lewy. If Lewy would leave, I think things could be great, but Lewy just hangs around and refuses to leave.

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Mom 87 in AL with LBD diagnosed one year ago, Dad 87 in AL with AD diagnosed 6 years ago


Wed Jun 13, 2012 2:47 pm
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Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:07 pm
Posts: 247
Post Re: guardianship
I'm so glad to hear it turned out well for you, and hope that the paperwork resolves at least the legal problems of caregiving for your mother.

Now don't you wish you could order up some new take-out delusions and hallucinations, like some nice ladies who come to visit and say, "O, you're so lucky to have such a wonderful daughter taking care of you!" Or the visiting decorators who help her figure out where to rearrange the pictures in her room. Or she could have nice delusions of having gone out to a lovely restaurant, and tell you what great food she had.

Sigh. Alas, Lewy doesn't seem to be very obliging in the delusions it creates.
Laurel

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Laurel - mother (97) diagnosed April, 2011, with LBD; died May, 2014.


Wed Jun 13, 2012 3:07 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 17, 2010 2:06 am
Posts: 63
Post Re: guardianship
ksparks, I'm so happy for you that this most difficult part of your journey with Lewy has been negotiated. I wish we could all be in the room with you to hug you and tell you what a good and caring thing you have done for your parents. It is Lewy, always Lewy, who fights you and tries to go looking for "home"--that is, the place where the person was before Lewy took over. It's so hard to love yourself and be proud of yourself for persevering in what is right. You have won an important battle in the Lewy wars, and we are all pinning your well-earned medals on you. I hope you are able to take a few days off and do something for yourself now. You definitely need the respite.


Thu Jun 14, 2012 2:00 am
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Joined: Wed Feb 15, 2012 11:39 am
Posts: 98
Location: Victorville, CA
Post Re: guardianship
You deserve a medal. As I've read through this, several times I got angry and felt you should just throw up your hands and leave. I pray I will have the strength and patience when I need it. Love is a powerful thing. There will be a special place in heaven reserved for you. God bless.

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Terri, spouse of John, officially DX dementia with Lewy Bodies, June, 2012, cognitive symptoms since 2007, active dreams for years before that.


Thu Jun 14, 2012 12:02 pm
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Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2011 3:14 pm
Posts: 36
Post Re: guardianship
On Saturday, my husband and I explained the situation to my parents. Poor mom, she thought that because she had gotten rid of the Interim Guardian, that she had won and was free to leave. I explained that the judge had been very kind to her and allowed her certain freedoms, but that she cannot leave the Assisted Living. She became quite angry and accused me of all sorts of things. I worked hard to re-direct and try to stick to the facts, but she is all over the place. Eventually, my Dad seemed to understand what was going on and told me that they were coming home no matter what I said. As we were leaving, he said, "Good-bye, forever." He will forget when we go back the next time, but Mom keeps rehashing the story over and over and getting him upset.

Poor mom was so confused and delusional. Her stories were such terrible combinations of fact, fiction and strange conversations that have never occurred. I am still hoping that things will calm down somewhat and we can go to the neurologist. She is refusing. She says she will never go to another doctor that I have found. I am just not sure what I will do about that. We have to get her medicine regulated and she is not tolerating the increased Excelon Patch dosage. I have told her that she must have that checked, but she is saying no because I have suggested it. She nows says that people are stealing from them and that the nurses are all liars. This aggression is a real problem.

She mostly stays in her room in her depressive state. I know that we must do something about this, but I am hoping we can wait a couple of weeks before we try the doctor discussion again.

I have limited guardianship. The judge has given her permission to spend up to $200 per month. She can hardly wait. The terrible thing is that her Soc. Security check goes to the Assisted Living and there is just very little left after paying medicine, doctor and her weekly hair appointments. The $200 thing infuriated her. She wants all of her money to buy all new furniture for her new little house that she plans to buy with no money and move to Alabama. She can make some minor health decisions, but the judge knew that she could not really do that in Assisted Living. He was trying to be kind and give her some choices, but she cannot understand that. I am in control of where she lives, all major health decisions and all financial decisions.

I just really want to thank all of you for your encouragement and suggestions. One person even PM'd me with some suggestions. I am so thankful for this forum and the wonderful folks who take the time to share.

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Mom 87 in AL with LBD diagnosed one year ago, Dad 87 in AL with AD diagnosed 6 years ago


Sun Jun 24, 2012 11:04 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: guardianship
What a struggle it is - every step of the way for you and your family. I hope there's some positive sign soon.


Mon Jun 25, 2012 12:04 am
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post Re: guardianship
I don't know if this is possible where you live, but I'll suggest it anyway. My Dad would not go to doctor for us, so eventually the doctor came to the house to him, when the situation became almost unbearable. Make enquiries and even if you could get someone to call to help gain their trust, they mihgt be able to persuade them to visit a doctor for you. Sometinmes outsiders can do things we just cannot do ourselves. Dad thought I was poisoning him and never trusted me, but when the geriatric psychiatrist visited him at home and got him on the right meds, life got so much easier for me. My heart goes out to you - it must be heartbreaking. Look after yourself in all of this. Sending angels and hugs your way,
Ger xx

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Mon Jun 25, 2012 5:04 am
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 610
Post Re: guardianship
Is there someone she still trusts who could persuade her to go to the neurologist? It sounds like any suggestion from you is going to fail and that may not change for a while.

Julianne


Mon Jun 25, 2012 9:30 am
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