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 wanting to go home 
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Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:46 pm
Posts: 4
Post wanting to go home
my mom is at the stage of LBD where she is also "wanting to go home", I have read all the posts on this topic but have a question. Is it ok to play along? To go with it. She is back in time several era's back, the more we try and show/explain this his her home she gets more frustrated in that we don't understand. I have just been saying, its so nice here can we stay a bit longer and she will usually say "ok", then little bit later it start all over again. She even will see someone outside and go to them like if we won't take her she is going to find someone that will. It is very hard to redirect her. :?:


Mon Dec 05, 2011 9:28 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3394
Location: Vermont
Post Re: wanting to go home
I'd do whatever causes the least stress for everyone. Is she mobile? Can she get in and out of a car easily? If not, you can use the excuse that when she is more able to walk/get in and out of the car or whatever, you can take her.
What are the reasons you cannot or do not want to take her? Do you think it will make her more stressed and anxious when you need to bring her back?
Everyone's situation is very different and calls for different ways of dealing with these issues. Without more info. it's pretty difficult to give suggestions. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Mon Dec 05, 2011 10:01 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: wanting to go home
Lynn, I think the main reason she can't be taken home is the same reason I couldn't take Coy home when he wanted to go ... he already was home! :shock: :lol:

SWilson, sure it is OK to play along. Whatever works.

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Mon Dec 05, 2011 11:49 pm
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Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:46 pm
Posts: 4
Post Re: wanting to go home
mom is very mobile..she continually walks around the house collecting things to take w/her and then she will start leaving to head down the street, yesterday she walked around the block(went w/her of course) and different houses if she saw someone outside it felt like she was trying to get them to take her because we weren't, (this went on for about 5 hrs). by the end of the day she is so exhausted from working so hard all day trying to leave. we havent tried take her for a ride and back home again, will try that today. home in Florida for past 18 years. home she talks about wanting to go to we think is Ithica MI where she grew up. its exhausting because she needs constant supervision...my dad just wont except the fact she needs full time care, im down from MI to help and my daughter lives near and comes about everyother day to help out. thats another issue is my dad, myself and daughter are just a bandage...i can't get him to see we all need a real caretaker! we are going to be in the same situation when i have to go home, like we have in the past.


Tue Dec 06, 2011 8:32 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3394
Location: Vermont
Post Re: wanting to go home
Well, in that case, I guess you do have to just go along with it if that helps settle her down. Tell her you're working on it! That seemed to calm my dad down when he wanted something that couldn't happen anymore. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Tue Dec 06, 2011 10:37 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: wanting to go home
Quote:
Tell her you're working on it!
Yep, that can be effective. At the SNF, Derek will often be agitated about a 'meeting' he's supposed to be attending. I will tell him I'll find out about that meeting, then ask one of the staff, preferably in his presence, with a wink to the staff, 'Do you know if they have postponed that meeting until next week?' 'Oh, yes, it was postponed'. Sometimes the meeting was canceled altogether. :P

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Tue Dec 06, 2011 11:13 am
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Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 6:46 pm
Posts: 4
Post Re: wanting to go home
thanks all for you input :P


Tue Dec 06, 2011 2:42 pm
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