I just need to vent. I am in control of and dispense all of my Dad's medications accept his pain medication. He is so protective of it and refuses to give it to me. Of course, I realize this is an addiction. I know there have been times when he has forgotten that he has already taken it and taken it again. Or, he has just straight up taken too much. This makes all of his symptoms worse and brings on new ones. I've explained that if he isn't able to remember if he's taken his other meds how can he remember if he's taken these. And that he can trust me to give them to him as prescribed. He just won't hand them over and he hides them. Now, I know I could make a huge scene and get him all upset and just take them. But, he can get so combative over it. He's already very irritable and emotional. It's just very hard to watch all of this happening. Then I feel guilt because maybe he hasn't taken too much and it just Lewy. So confused!

Isn't it pretty dangerous to leave him in control of the pain meds if for whatever reason he is not taking them properly? Even if you can't reason with him about why he should turn them over, wouldn't it be better to take them, scene or no scene, for his own safety? And what is the harm if he is taking them properly and it is just Lewy? You still have the peace of mind of knowing he is safe from overdoing. There are just times when we have to do what is best for our LOs, whether they can understand it or not.

Julianne

Yes. You are totally correct. I need to find them today and deal with this immediately. Deep breath!

Been there, done that, with various issues. It is definitely not fun, but very necessary. Good luck!

Julianne

I don't know if this will help you or not, but we have a situation at our house where some family members have had issues with addiction and so I'm not comfortable leaving my mom's pain meds out. What i do is lock up the bottle (of 90) and put 8 pills in a different bottle on our fireplace mantle with a paper tablet and pencil. If my mom needs pain medication, the person giving it to her writes down what was given and the date and time ( we also write down her cough medicine), and when the bottle is down to one pill, I add 7 more. It helps keep track of her medication and keeps her from taking too many, and helps me track her pain. It also keeps anyone with a "pill problem" from helping themselves. I don't know if you could adapt something like this to your situation or not. Maybe give him so many a day in a separate bottle and tell him you're worried ( because of Lewy) that he might accidently take too many.

You might consider discussing this with your father's MD as well.

ive been there .. and the meds have been forgotten and retaken.. and i wasnt sure how to handle, without causing another scene.. trying to pick my battles.. but decided this was one to pick...
took the meds, locked them up.. and started doling them out in the morning ,at the same time i take my vitamins.. at first a few questions .. nothing like i expected.. and now its the way it is.. was way easier than i had thought it was going to be.. hope its the same for you.. if it isnt, i like robins idea of talking to the doc.. sometimes something coming from the doc ,weights alot heavier than coming from us..
good luck!!
cindi

I have searched for a topic about this and couldn't find a thing. At least now I know I'm not alone. I guess it's just one of those things people don't really talk about. After approaching the subject with Dad several times AGAIN today, I can see I think I will need the doctor to tell him to let me take over the pain meds. He has alot of respect for his doctor, so I'm thinking that's the best way. I just end up in tears and a mess everytime we discuss it because he gets very defensive. He thinks I won't give it to him when he needs it. Not true. I will ONLY give it to him on a schedule though. I like the idea of giving him the amount he needs for each day. Thank you all so much for you advice.

Tomorrow will be a rough day. Dad has his physical therapy evaluation. He keeps telling me to cancel it. Or looking for a reason why I should cancel it. He definately needs this. Wish me luck and say a prayer please!!!

Michelle

Michelle, so many of us know what you are going through. If your dad respects the doctor, it is a great idea to enlist the doctor's help.

But maybe the amount your dad thinks he needs is more than the prescribed amount, though, so you should probably be prepared for him to say you are not giving him enough even if you are following orders.

Generally, we just have to get used to doing things our LOs don't like or want because we must substitute our judgment for their impaired judgment. The PT evaluation is a good example. Just be strong and get it done. Good luck!

Julianne

If there's a chance your dad will forget that he didn't want the PT appt and be cooperative with the PT for the eval, then it's certainly worth a shot. But if he's not going to be cooperative, I'd cancel it. Many find it easiest to pick the battles that involve safety, and let the care recipient dictate everything else.

That's true, Robin, though I find that once we go to an appointment even if my mother protested beforehand, she will cooperate once she is there. It just depends on the individual and also how far along s/he is in her disease. For someone like my mother, for instance, she does not have the judgment to dictate very much at all, and she certainly cannot make decisions about her medical care. If she had her way, no one would interfere with her at all and things would really be a mess.

Julianne

Dad will go. He listens to me on everything except the pain meds. He will do what they ask. But he will get tired and then get agitated and cranky until we get home and he either gets in his chair or bed. When I can get him out I would like to take him to lunch and mabe visit someone. But he doesn't usually want too. We will see. I'm hoping for a good day.

Michelle

Michelle:

Who gets the meds from the pharmacy? Seems like it would be easier not to give them to him rather than getting into a hassle trying to get them back.

Michelle,
Is your father not able to receive in-home PT through Medicare's home health benefit? He is eligible for home health benefits if he's home-bound with the exception of going to see doctors.
Robin

When I take Dad to the dr, he insists on going straight to the pharmacy afterwards. So, he keeps his pain meds. I never get my hands on them. It's so frustrating.

We went to the PT evaluation today. I have to say, I knew how hard it has been for Dad to get around and how stiff he has been, but to see the therapist actually evaluating him broke my heart. I didn't realize how bad his movement capability actually is. She doesn't want him walking without a cane. He prefers a walking stick, which is fine. He has one already that my husband made for him. We've tried to get him to use it. He told the therapist that he's embarrassed about needing it. It's all just so heartbreaking. At one point I had to leave the room because the tears just started coming. She is recommending PT 2-3 times a week. So, as of now, I have appointments set for 2 times a week for the next 8 weeks. I have no clue how I am going to swing this. Also, allowing time for drs appts, my job, caring for my family and home, caring for Dad.

Robin, nobody has mentioned inhome PT to me. Dad is on medicare. He doesn't really leave the house anymore except to go to the dr and to church. Occassionally, I can get him to go to his sister's house or to Walmart. But he definately cannot drive or go anywhere by himself. I wonder if he would qualify? I'll have to check into that. Although, he is cramping up so much tonight that he says if it is because of the PT he isn't going to do it anymore.

That's todays' update, and the day isn't over.
Michelle