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 very agressive 
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: very agressive
Ger, how does the facility you are considering deal with aggressive behavior?

(Hang in there! This has got to be terribly hard on you. You have amazing strength.)

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Sat Mar 26, 2011 2:50 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post Re: very agressive
thanks, Julianne, I do find that I am coming to the end of my rope. I am tired and cranky all the time, and I feel my children and husband are suffering as a result. I am just finding it extremely difficult to take that final step of admitting him, as I think he will give up fighting when he is moved away from 'his own corner'. And boy, is he a fighter - we have nick named him 'Lazarus'. Councelling is definitely helping me, and she has shown me that my body, as well as my mind, can't take much more. I had the nurse call yesterday, and had my sister there as well, and she put the point across to my sister, that things are only going to disimprove, and that we do have to consider the next step. My sister is still not fully convinced, but I am going to go ahead and see how it works out.

Jeanne, funny you should mention this. I said it to Dad's psychiatric nurse on Wednesday. She said that she did not know if they could take him in because of his agressive behaviour. So what am I supposed to do? He is under their care and I thought that he would automatically be cared for in their facility. She has to speak to his doctor about it and will get back to me. I don't want him to go into the local mental health hospital, because I worked there for years, and they just sedated their patients for a quiet life, and left them there. i couldn't do that to Dad. I am waiting till she gets back to me with a definite no before I panic.

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Sat Mar 26, 2011 3:03 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: very agressive
Ger, the only thing that would calm my husband during a bout of aggressive behavior was Seroquel. As you point out, however, when they are paranoid and hostile they are unlikely to take anything we offer them, as I also found. He is currently in a SNF [skilled nursing facility, or nursing home] but is no longer mobile so is not much of a threat. He continues to be combative with the staff from time to time, especially when they are trying to change his briefs or clean him. But he can't chase anyone any more.

You might as well ask facilities 'up front' what they do with this type of behavior. My husband was kicked out of a NH for 'behavioral issues' a couple of years ago. A dementia care facility is usually the best bet if they are still independently mobile. And they are supposed to be able to handle these issues. No point having your dad admitted and then have to move him again already. A friend of mine's husband was in four facilities in one year before he died year before last of LBD.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Mar 26, 2011 3:38 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post Re: very agressive
Pat, Dad is under the care of a psychiatrist for the elderly from the only dementia care facility close to us. We don't have any choice of facility really - it is either this particular one, or a regular hospital or nursing home. It isn't even a specific hospital for dementia, but also for stroke victims and elderly care. As I mentioned before, there is a mental institution in the city, but I would rather curl up and die than put him there. With the economy the way it is here, there have been cutbacks in healthcare, and the mental hospital has suffered also. I would hate to think of him locked up there. I am only hoping that this hospital, called St. Camillus, will take him in for the week of respite, and maybe they will find out that they can manage him.
I find the seroquel good too, but he never takes meds for us anyway, not to mention when he is in a bad way, so I have to wait till he calms down and then I give him a biscuit with the seroquel crushed in it.
Thank you all for your words of support. It is indeed a difficult journey.

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Sat Mar 26, 2011 4:48 pm
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