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 Famous Last Words 
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Famous Last Words
Why does this always happen? If I posted that my husband never broke out in green spots, I would go into the SNF the next morning to find him looking like a St. Patrick's Day decoration! Just this morning I posted that he doesn't know he is not home. But as I was leaving this afternoon he said he wanted me to take him home with me. This breaks my heart. And oh, how I wish I could! I left in tears with him still pleading with me. :cry:

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Thu Feb 10, 2011 8:50 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Oh Pat! That is really hard. Hugs to you, lady.

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Thu Feb 10, 2011 8:55 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 610
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Pat, I am so sorry. I know how hard it is to leave someone who's pleading to go home. It helps to focus on what's best for him. He just isn't able to judge that for himself anymore, so it falls on you.

Hang in there,

Julianne


Thu Feb 10, 2011 8:57 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Pat, I get misty eyed thinking about that, but as with this disease, everything is temporary. Tomorrow will probably be OK. Hang in there, it's still the best for both of you. Gerry

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Gerry 67, cared for Frank 71, married 49 yrs; dx 2004, passed away October 26, 2011.


Thu Feb 10, 2011 8:58 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Yep, I know. Tough love! :|

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Thu Feb 10, 2011 8:58 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: Famous Last Words
It probably isn't any comfort, Pat, but Dale wants to 'go home' several times every day. In fact, he often acts like he is going to leave his bed and just walk in the direction of 'home.' Tonight, I asked him where 'home' was and he said he didn't know. He was just going to get in the car and go there.

Someone told me that 'home' was the comfort of the mother's womb. It's a place where there is ultimate safety.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Thu Feb 10, 2011 9:05 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Famous Last Words
It's true that Derek often wanted me to take him home when he was home. I just thought he was past that.

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Thu Feb 10, 2011 9:39 pm
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Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 5:28 pm
Posts: 317
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Maybe he just wants to be with you. Rather than a place, it is a sense of comfort they want and the greatest comfort is when YOU are right next to him.

Did you look under his shirt for the green spots? The might just be there. Nan


Thu Feb 10, 2011 10:52 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Yes, and they're shaped like shamrocks! :lol:

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Thu Feb 10, 2011 11:03 pm
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Joined: Sat Jul 31, 2010 5:28 pm
Posts: 317
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Funny.....soon will be St Paddy's Day so maybe I could bribe the staff to tape a couple on him. Ho Ho....no that's Christmas. Smiles, Nan


Fri Feb 11, 2011 2:05 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3359
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Pat - I know how heart-wrenching it is when our LOs ask to be taken home. My dad did that almost every time I saw him for 18 months. After a while I started say "as soon as you can walk again I'll take you home." It kind of gave him something to look forward to, even though in reality it was totally unobtainable. At least I wasn't saying "no, I can't do that because we can't give you the level of care you get here." I did that for a while, so did all of his visitors, and he'd get really angry, despite that this was the sad reality.
Try not to get too worked up over it. Like you've said many times before, when he was home, he still asked you to take him home. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Fri Feb 11, 2011 8:44 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Pat,
I know I am kind of late on this but having some computer uissues last few days..
I know this is hard for you as you were just saying he didn't realize he wasn't home and it just adds to your misery, I am sorry, can you just try telling him that you are hoping when he gets better that he can then maybe.......

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Irene Selak


Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:40 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Famous Last Words
You know, Irene, it only happened the one time and he hasn't said anything since. He's always puzzled as to why I'm not eating [when he does] and always wonders where my bed is. He is frustrated because 'they' won't let him get up by himself. He doesn't realize that he can't stand or walk alone any more. There is a monitor on his w/c but by the time he was out of the chair he'd be on the floor before anyone heard it. He did very well with the therapist today, though. :P

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Feb 12, 2011 8:54 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Dale walked a long way from the bedroom to the kitchen yesterday with the Physical Therapist... so I decided to try to get him to stand and then sit in the wheelchair today. He managed it with the gait belt and GREAT effort. I wanted to cut his hair in the kitchen... which I did.

However, that may be why he is restless tonight. I'm not sure forcing him to stand and walk is a good idea. It may be putting too much pressure on him.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:18 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Famous Last Words
Eureka, Leone! I think you may have hit on something important. Ever since Derek has been walking with the therapist and aide in the afternoons he has been both crabby and restless. I couldn't think of anything that might account for it. He's been sleeping well, no med changes, etc. Maybe it's the increased activity. :shock: Gosh, I hope not! It's so nice to see him walking, even with two people holding him up.

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Feb 12, 2011 9:48 pm
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