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 "Anxious in the evening" 
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post "Anxious in the evening"
mockturtle wrote:
My husband becomes very anxious every evening but it subsides toward bedtime. Nothing seems to help--it just has to play itself out. Nothing I can answer to his confused questions gives him any peace. Quite honestly, it drives me crazy but knowing that it only lasts a few hours helps me endure it. .. It's really awful.
In searching for experience in dealing with evening dementia, I saw this quote and decided to resurrect this thread.

Now that Dale is too weak to stand or walk, he is in a hospital bed. The day goes well .... but about 6 pm, he slips into severe dementia and tonight, he has spent 2 hours talking with the ceiling. Meetings, papers, elevators, trains, water, ... It goes on and on. At times, he tries to involve me. I'm sure it doesn't bother him as much as it does me.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:27 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
You can get a small explanation/advice from the Mayo Clinic here:
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sundowning/HQ01463

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Tue Feb 08, 2011 9:54 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
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Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
Dale had typical sundowning early in this disease. It usually subsided by the time he went to bed.

What he does now is far more severe. He is frequently in tears. Tonight, he has been staring at the ceiling now for almost four hours and talking.

I've played music. I've turned down the lights. Nothing seems to quiet him. In fact, I've asked the doctor for a sleeping medication.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:52 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
As I had posted last year [resurrected] it just had to play itself out. Three to four hours of anxiety and agitation. Why it stopped at about 9PM I don't know, but it did. Maybe he just wore himself out. They put him to bed earlier at the SNF and give him his Seroquel earlier.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:10 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
That is kind of the bottom line to what I've read, Pat and Leone, but I haven't experienced it. There are several things you can try, but sometimes it apparently has to run out on its own. You are supposed to take comfort from the fact that it does not last forever or even all day, it does no permanent damage to your LO, and you should try to manage your own anxiety level because you can't control theirs. Hmm... sounds reasonable, but I'll bet it is not so easy to put into practice. Is that what you did, Pat? Was it hard? Could you avoid becoming very anxious yourself? In case my turn comes, I'm looking for role models!

Leone, tonight is Dale's conversation with the ceiling upsetting to him? Is he anxious or tearful or angry, etc.? Or is it just a "normal" one-sided delusional conversation?

There sure is a lot to deal with in this disease, isn't there? :cry:

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:25 pm
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Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:32 am
Posts: 215
Location: Kalispell, MT
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
Would something like a shoulder massage, or facial with warm cream help to relax the body and soothe the mind?


Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:48 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
By all means, if you have someone who can come over and give you a massage and a facial, accept it! :P Oh. You probably mean for the LO. Hmmm ... anybody try that?

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Tue Feb 08, 2011 11:53 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
:lol: My husband wouldn't let me touch him when he was in those moods. For one thing, I was an evil impostor.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:24 am
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
What about Klonopin (clonazepam)? It's sedating, often used to help with sleep, and often prescribed to deal with anxiety.


Wed Feb 09, 2011 2:33 am
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
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Location: Acton, MA
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
Frank starts talking shortly after he goes to bed, 6-6:30. He doesn't seem to need me to answer so I don't, he goes off to sleep quickly but continues talking throughout the night. I've moved to another bedroom and still hear him but neither of us are troubled with his conversation.

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Gerry 67, cared for Frank 71, married 49 yrs; dx 2004, passed away October 26, 2011.


Wed Feb 09, 2011 8:32 am
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
JeanneG wrote:
Could you avoid becoming very anxious yourself? Leone, tonight is Dale's conversation with the ceiling upsetting to him? Is he anxious or tearful or angry, etc.? Or is it just a "normal" one-sided delusional conversation?
Yes, Jeanne, Dale has a full range of emotions. He is often tearful. In fact, last night, I spent a while quoting the 23rd Psalm with him.

Can I avoid becoming 'anxious'? Not easily. In fact, as I stated before, I think it is more traumatic for me than it is for him. The hardest part is when he wants to get into the car and drive to Alaska... or do something virtually impossible. He often wants to call the President... or some company.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:11 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
I can relate, Leone! That's one reason I enlisted SIL as 'Deputy Smith' when things got really hairy and he wanted to call the police. I would just call 'Deputy Smith' and hand him the phone. My SIL, who used to be a police detective, was very good at this job and was nice enough to play his role well.

Sometimes just talking to a third party is helpful and it gets you off the hook for a few minutes. :P

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:28 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
As you may remember, Pat, I have a sister who was a 1st grade teacher for 45 years. She is absolutely marvelous with Dale. I agree that the third party is a life saver. She's my 'pressure valve' when the situation here gets tense.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Wed Feb 09, 2011 12:40 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
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Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
Absolutely! My sister lives 1200 miles away so of course she can't be here with our mother too often, but she is my backup for times when I just need someone else to deal with my mother for a while, or to listen to me vent (so my husband doesn't have to hear it all again). My mother is getting increasingly confused and irrational, so this is becoming more and more important.

Julianne


Wed Feb 09, 2011 1:47 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
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Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: "Anxious in the evening"
Every night, the plot changes - but the delusions go on and on. Tonight, the plot started about 3 pm. Dale is involved with some basketball team and he thinks I could play basketball if I wanted to learn. We have to get the documents. We have to go or we'll be late. There is always tremendous urgency to whatever has to be done. It has to be done now.

A couple of months ago, Dale was the coach of the Denver Brocos. I asked him tonight about that... and he said, 'There's no connection!'

In the process, Dale wads his bedding up into a ball. Does that sound familiar?

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Wed Feb 09, 2011 7:53 pm
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