You've gotten alot done in these 5 months! Unfortunately, that means you've also uncovered more hurdles. As a hospice social worker (and a spouse care giver), I'm sorry to say your story is all too common. Tho I must admit, your sister is on the extreme end of the continuum.
Now, my opinion.....I always think home care is preferable to N.H. care for quality of life but, not always quality of care. Each siduation is unique.
I think my husband's confusion, sense of dignity, agitation, temper, etc... are much better managed by me. I have excellent private care givers with Harry so I can work. Yet, I can see the days ahead when his skin, "eliminations", nutrition, safety, baths etc...may be better managed by a N. H. I must be realistic and acknowledge that anything is possible. Back to your mom, there is a chance, she may be less challenging at home because of the 1:1 care and modified environmnet......better care giving.
Currently, educate yourself on the complaint process and determine if it has any "bite" to it or
your mother needs moved out of the N.H.
Do you plan on returning to your family once the care giving is stable? In which case, is it 24 hr care these folks will provide? What happens when they have a family crisis and need to leave (death/accident). This can be a pretty fragile plan. After the hearing, if you get physical custody, why not move her back to FL with you? In any event, my heart goes out to you and your mother.
Sue and Harry Lewis in WV
Harry was Dx at age 60 with LBD. He requires FT care giving.
After you get your mother's care straightened out, will you come help me ?
. Sounds like your doing a remarkable job