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 Crying & Delusions 
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3305
Location: Vermont
Post Crying & Delusions
My dad has a couple of things going on and I am at wit's end tonight. The ALF has been feeding him his meals in the dementia unit and he is so upset that I haven't been able to get them to let him eat in the regular dining room that he has been crying uncontrollably the last 3 nights. He is miserable his CGs have fed him in his room, which will probabloy come to a halt when the admin. is back tomorrow.
In addition to crying about having to eat "with those people with dementia" he thinks that 5 of his family members are missing. Apparently that has been going on since my sons and I were there Wed. although I just heard about it tonight. He had the CG tonight call me since he thought I, my kids and 2 other people are lost. I assured him we are all accounted for, but he was so delusional, confused, and I could barely understand him.
He was pretty lucid, clear speech Wed. - Sat., and now back to low cognition, delusions and very poor quality of speech. It is heartbreaking. I will call his neuro tomorrow and see if someone can do something medication-wise. I don't know what else to do and I feel so helpless. Lynn


Sun Jun 20, 2010 9:19 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
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Location: WA
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Medications might help. I know that the crying part may be helped by medications--there was a woman in the care facility where my husband was staying who cried almost constantly. It was so sad for her, her husband, who practically lived there, and everyone else. Her doctor put her on some medication [I don't know what] that stopped it. Her delusions weren't improved but her emotions were.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sun Jun 20, 2010 9:52 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Location: Vermont
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Thanks Pat. I'm going to talk with his neuro tomorrow and possibly his psychiatrist. Lynn


Sun Jun 20, 2010 9:55 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
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Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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I'd check for signs of infection. Otherwise, I think medication is your only route. Is your father on Seroquel (quetiapine)? Speak with the neurologist about an antidepressant but be ready to move up to an antipsychotic.


Sun Jun 20, 2010 11:48 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Location: Vermont
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He is on Seroquel and Sertraline, among other things. I'll talk with the nurse on duty at the ALF this morning and ask her to check for infection and go from there.
He is obviously super depressed. When my kids were there with him he actually laughed with them about old stories, things they'd done, and then he'd start crying and talking about how he can't do any of those things with them anymore. Plus, he absolutely hates not eating in the regular dining room.
I wish they hadn't put him on Namenda and Aricept because I think he truly was happier when his congnition had slipped to the point he didn't know how bad off he is and he had become more comfortable. I haven't yet asked his drs. to start cutting back on those, but that will happen today. I was waiting till both of his grandsons visited before making any changes. I'd rather have him more comfortable than aware of how much he CAN'T do. We'll have to sacrifice lucid conversations for him being more in lala land, but the state he's in now is just horrible. Thanks Robin and Pat. Lynn


Mon Jun 21, 2010 7:04 am
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
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Lynn,
How sad for you all,Choices with the meds are always a balancing act, many times having to make decisions in our own LBD life I would think how my husband would want to be and always found my answer there because I knew he was a Man of control and wouldn't want people to see him out of control and yes he often slept more but at least I knew he was much more peaceful, checking for an infection is always good but honestly I do think he is so sad to his many losses as he indicated to your boys about not being able to do things with them anymore.
Good Luck today with trying to get relief for your dad today!

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Irene Selak


Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:17 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Location: Vermont
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Peaceful - that's the right word Irene. I would rather have him peaceful than so, so sad or highly aggitated. When he cried most of the morning my boys were with him, he kept apologizing for crying, because he, too was a man in control, very independent, very happy before all this.
I just can't stand to see how unhappy he is, and same for all the other family members and friends. My sister is going there this morning to see what's going on and I'll be in touch via phone with the nurse and probably his drs. unless the nurse wants to call them.
Lynn


Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:30 am
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Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:53 pm
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Location: Davis, CA
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My dad cries a lot too and it's one of the hardest things for me. I am frustrated because I don't live where he is and all the energy is going toward VA benefits and appealing to Medicare over his nursing home stay rather than dealing with his state and his almost certain need for medications. It's hard to know what's the most important thing to tackle when you only have so many people resources. It sounds as if meds are tricky, but the crying just takes such a toll on my family and on dad.

Best of luck to you.


Mon Jun 21, 2010 9:23 pm
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Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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Many in the local support group have very good luck dealing with the "emotional incontinence" (crying jags) through antidepressants. Perhaps speak with the MD about increasing the Zoloft (sertraline).


Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:04 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Hi Amanda - I know just what you are talking about. I live far from my dad and when I am there (once a month) I have to balance visiting him (40 mi. from his house), dealing with the house and yard (I'm contracting a huge job on his house that HAS to be done), dealing with the finances, etc. I've given up on the VA for now - it nearly sucked the life out of me last year, only to find out that his assets are too high at this point to get any VA support.
Just when I think I have all the "paperwork" things done, something else comes along that I don't even know about.
So, when I visit him and he is crying or losing his temper, it really takes a toll. I just get so sad for him and the horrific state he is in. The last 6 days he keeps telling me how depressing his life is. And it is. With the dementia, it has changed his personality so much he doesn't want to do any activities at the ALF, yet he complains about having no social life and how sad he is to be "in prison" aka, in bed all the time, which is mostly his choice. It's a no win situation. I just have to do all I can do to keep my own spirits up because it frankly, is as depressing as it can get. He's not happy, and it makes everyone else feel horrible also no matter how much we try to be positive around him. It stinks! Lynn


Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:05 pm
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Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:53 pm
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Location: Davis, CA
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Lynn and Robin,

Thanks so much for your replies. It helps me so much to know that others are going through this. My dad has referred to being in the nursing home as "being in a cage, with a noose around his neck." He was such a proud, self-assured guy that it is so hard for all of us. He will soon move in with my mom, brother and sister in law. I am so worried about that transition and what it will do to all of them.


Mon Jun 21, 2010 10:56 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Location: Vermont
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Amanda - if he is in a NH now, is it reasonable that your mom, brother and SIL can take care of him at home? Does he need to be lifted? Do you think they'll be able to handle the emotional stuff 24/7?
If your other family members are not on this forum, perhaps it would be a good thing for them to join and read before making a big change. There are also several really good books out there to help prepare them for what is to come. They may be unrealistic about how much this will change their lives (and your dad's).
These are all hard choices to make and I wish you all the best. I think we are a breath away from having to move my dad from ALF to a NH. I'm just dreading that call..... He'd never be accepted into an ALF at the point he is now and I am just so thankful they've kept him there as long as they have - they've had to get special waivers from the state to keep him there.
I wish you the best, Lynn


Tue Jun 22, 2010 9:38 am
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Joined: Wed Jun 09, 2010 4:53 pm
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Thanks, Lynn. I have my own doubts about whether it will work as well. But they are determined to try. I have tried to get them interested in the forum as a resource, but so far I'm the only one posting. It's brought me a great deal of support.


Tue Jun 22, 2010 12:22 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Location: Vermont
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It certainly is a fabulous source of support and info., isn't it? Perhaps one of these days when they get overwhelmed, or need info. about meds or whatever, one of them will join the forum. There's so much useful info. here to be learned. It's a good place to vent too when you need to! Lynn


Tue Jun 22, 2010 2:32 pm
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