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 Mom's recurring lament? 
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
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Hey, Pat. Don't waste your money on a transport chair. They are built for the purpose of moving one from one form or transportation to another, like in an airport, not for everyday. The one we had got rickety very fast. We'd tried to use it for everything. Have him fitted for a wheelchair. And don't just get one from an internet site. It's really important to have it fit right. Mom's is a petite, because she's gotten pretty short.

Jeff, my Mom isn't in a nursing home yet, but I remember our experience with my grandmother. She also called each of her children often to ask them to come get her and take her home. She also tried to call old friends (some of them already gone) to have them come to get her. I expect that my Mom will, too.

I've read that this "going home" thing isn't really a request to go to the place she had been living. Nor is it a request to go to the place she grew up. It is a request to feel safe and familiar with her surroundings.There's not a lot you can do about that, except work with the nursing home staff to get her familiar with where she is now. Check to see if there is something she can do and likes to do that would contribute to life at the nursing home. I do remember that when my grandmother was asked to play piano for chapel, she started to feel at home and some of the resentment died out. Also, enlist the activities director to find activities she will eventually enjoy. And ask the staff to only let her use the phone once or twice a week, whatever you can stand.

Have you ever observed a child arriving at daycare? Many of them do this big act telling Mommy or Daddy that they hate it there and please don't leave. And as soon as the door closes behind Mommy or Daddy, the child starts playing and is happy as a clam. Your Mom could be doing the same thing. I know Grandma did. She laid a huge guilt trip on her kids. And then went back to playing the piano. It's just one of those things people do in certain situations.

Good luck to you and don't let the guilt get you. Eventually, it could hurt your relationship with your Mom and other family members. Oh, and get those family members on board with you. Make sure they know what your Mom is doing and what they should do when your Mom asks them the same question.

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:10 am
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
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One more thought, Jeff.

Your Mom at least has the gumption to express her feelings, even if she doesn't use the right words. How sad it would be if she just let this disease overwhelm her without a fight. Be proud of her strength and courage, even if it does make your life harder.

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:17 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Katelu, the problem with a regular w/c is the side wheels for self propulsion which he can't use anyway and they add too much weight. I need something I can easily fold up and put into the car. But it does sound like perhaps they are not well made. We have one medical supply store here and they currently have NO wheelchairs in the store to try out. I guess we'd have to drive to a major city to find one. And they charge so much more for the very same brand that is sold on the internet! Even if Medicare pays for most of it, I hate to see them billed for these ridiculous mark-ups.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Tue Jun 29, 2010 12:21 am
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
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I understand, Pat. I have back issues and I know how painful it is to lift something you ought not to be lifting. Mom's chair is about all the weight I can lift into the van. And, being a petite chair, it is smaller and lighter than a full size or bariatric chair (for one of those, I'd break down and get a ramp). But, one thing you can do is go to a wheelchair supplier and have a chair sized, then place the Internet order with the information you got from the supplier. If the really want the sale, they will find a way to make it more affordable.

I don't know if they have sizes in transport chairs, but it would be worth asking. Mom's feet dangled in hers, way too high.

Take care. Good luck with your shopping!

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Thu Jul 01, 2010 10:31 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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We tried one out today [a transport chair] and it fit him perfectly but it did seem a little flimsy. I think we'll look around. Thanks again for the advice.

_________________
Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Fri Jul 02, 2010 12:22 am
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