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 The first time you get hit 
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Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:25 am
Posts: 7
Post The first time you get hit
I cannot believe I have to write this. My husband has been beligerent for awhile and thinks that everyone is out to get him but I have always been able to calm him, until very recently.He is now taking his anger out on me. The other night I was helping him get into bed and he was telling me how I didn't care anything about him. When I was getting his legs and feet onto the bed, he hit me in my left rib. The next morning when he woke up he went to the kitchen and took a wire cookbook holder and was threatening to hit me with it. We had a tug of war with the cookbook holder and he finally surrendered it to me. He finally calmed down. Since that time I feel so totally depressed. I cannot believe he hit me. I almost feel like a battered woman although I know it is the disease. I cannot tell my family - they will insist he must go into a home. I don't want to wait to see if he hits again. If I was advising anyone else - I would tell them not to wait. My stomach is in knots. I am calling the doctor to see what he has to say. He is taking 200 mg. serequel at night and 100 mg. in the morning. Aricept, namenda, sinnemet, xanax


Fri Feb 26, 2010 2:54 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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This was a problem with us about two years ago. I know exactly what you mean by not letting your family know! My kids and my mom have always been really worried about this. One time I was talking to my daughter on the phone and he pushed me down. I had to beg my daughter to keep her from calling 911.

Medications! Everyone reacts differently. Someone just recently said her LO was violent on Seroquel. That's why I'm having second thoughts about trying it with my husband. However, when I reported the above incidents to his neurologist assistant [a nurse practitioner], she suggested we start with the Exelon patch, which he has been on for two years now. Even at the beginning level it made a big difference in his anger. I think you need to tell your husband's physician right away about what's going on. Make it clear that something will have to be done and that your safety is at risk. God bless you!!!


Fri Feb 26, 2010 3:18 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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pbronish,

I hope you'll reconsider telling your family. I do think you should tell someone -- family or close friend. Presumably when your husband was diagnosed with LBD you changed your healthcare POA so as to identify someone else as the primary POA (other than your husband). You might consider telling THAT person as I imagine this is one person whom you trust with decisions about your care.

I hope you can reach the MD about this today, as it's a very important symptom. The MD may also advise you to place your husband for your safety. One medication that may be worth considering talking to the MD about removing is Xanax. It can cause paradoxical anxiety. I don't know if it can cause your husband to have thoughts leading to wanting to harm you, however.

Read everything you can find written by Geri Hall. She's an expert on dealing with dementia-related behavior. She has great advice for caregivers in danger.

Robin


Fri Feb 26, 2010 5:52 pm
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Joined: Wed Jan 13, 2010 12:25 am
Posts: 7
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I did tell my brother-in-law and he will tell my husband's sister. I am waiting to hear from her. This is a second marriage for me so I am the one with the children, he has none. It is strange that one feels ashamed when I know it is the Lewy's.

I spoke with our Doctor and he suggested I add 50 mg. serequel in the am. I asked about the Excelon and he does not want to switch from Aricept as yet. He will also talk with the Psychiatrist about adding a different medicine.

Can you tell me who Geri Hall is and where I can get some of her work? I guess the Library would be a good bet!

Thank you for listening (reading) and it helps to know that others have been through this and are here to offer some good advice and best wishes. I do appreciate it.
Phyllis


Fri Feb 26, 2010 6:05 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3430
Location: Vermont
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Phyllis - don't be ashamed, you know it is the disease, and you also know you owe it to yourself, your children and other friends and family, to take care of yourself. I am glad you've told someone else. If it means he has to be placed somewhere, that just may have to happen. You can't risk your own safety, but if there are less traumatic alternatives (and I know it is traumatic to have to move a LO to a facility) then that is certainly something I'd continue to pursue also. All the best, keep us posted. Lynn


Fri Feb 26, 2010 7:17 pm
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Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:17 pm
Posts: 104
Location: Arkansas
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Phyllis, I tried to see in your past posts about your LO's Dr. How confident are you with the Dr.'s handling Lewy Body? Have these meds. been successeful in the past? It is very hard to find the right meds and you need to go low and slow. Remember some of this is because of the constant flucuation of LBD. read all you can for the home page. Can some one stay with you and help? Do you have family support? Sorry if these are repeat ??"s.


Fri Feb 26, 2010 9:48 pm
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Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:17 pm
Posts: 104
Location: Arkansas
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There is a article by Geri Hall,go to LBDA home page, type in name in search box. 1st article.


Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:06 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Here's the link http://www.centeronaging.uiowa.edu/archive/pubs/Newest%20Versions%20-%20pdf%20format/Coping%20with%20Violence.pdf. It's an excellent article! --Pat


Fri Feb 26, 2010 10:12 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
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Phyllis- While my LO got very beligerent at times it never came to hitting...close but not quite. I hated that LBD took a wonderful, fun loving, great guy and turned him into a Dr. Hyde. I think sometimes they get so frustrated with the disease that they take it out on the closest one...you. Do read the articles by Geri Hall. It certainly made a huge impresion on me. While I never wanted to place him I understood that sometimes you have to make difficult decisions that are for your own safety. I would have placed him if need be. His doctors have to be made aware of this as perhaps he can be controlled with medication.

Big hug for you today. Special prayer for your LO.

_________________
Dianne C.


Sat Mar 06, 2010 4:26 am
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