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 Uncontrolled anger from delusions 
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:47 pm
Posts: 32
Post Uncontrolled anger from delusions
My husband has reached the point of having uncontrolled anger and threatens the neighbor, and me. I have written about his sexual delusions and got him on Seroquil. This worked about 5 or 6 months, dosage has been increased but we still have no control. We managed to get him to an emergency room on his own, without having to call 911, and he signed agreement to go to the psychic hospital. Now however he is furious with me----which I understand--but it is to the point I have to get guardianship to keep him where he and others around are safe. I hope they can get meds adjusted so he can think a little clearer, but I am afraid that may not happen. I guess my question is, does the reasoning come back at all, what may I be expecting next? He is a little over 3 years past dx. Altho the problems created by Lewy were prestent at least 2 years before that. We have gotten a room reserved for him in a nursing home. THIS STUFF IS HARD!!!!!!!
Wilma 74


Fri Feb 05, 2010 10:55 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Wilma, I am so sorry you are going through this awful process. Guardianship is certainly more difficult than having a Durable Health Care P.O.A. already in place. A friend of mine has recently gone through this and now her husband is in a state psychiatric hospital because the SNF wouldn't keep him.

Our experience with LBD violence has been similar to yours but my husband has been much better since being on the Exelon patch. I know that not everyone has the same results but it has been good for us. Also, as my husband has become more debilitated, his anger has abated somewhat. He does still get episodes, though.

I pray that your physicians will get him on the right medications and that the SNF will be able to keep him. It's shocking how many LBD patients are expelled for 'behavioral issues'. It happened to my husband. He has since spent time in two ALFs [I was in the process of moving] and has been back home for the past five months. Hope all goes well for you!!--Pat


Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:24 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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Wilma,

Quite a few people in our local support group have had their spouses declared mentally incompetent. Many more wish they had done so while there was still money in the bank. So, I know what a difficult step it is you are taking but I'm glad you are taking it.

Many with LBD do regain some of their cognitive abilities with the right medication. (Are you following Dr. Boeve's treatment regimen?) No one knows if this will happen for your husband. And whether he will stop being mad at you is another question entirely.

Good luck,
Robin


Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:21 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
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Wilma, My heart goes out to you. I do envy the posts that say how sweet and appreciative the husbands are of all that is done for them. But after reading your post, my life seems pretty easy. It always makes me wonder when there is a change, is it the progression of the disease or maybe the meds, more, less a change, I'v decided that there is NO pattern to LBD, we just have to fly by the seat of our pants.

Good Luck, Gerry


Fri Feb 05, 2010 1:32 pm
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Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:27 pm
Posts: 146
Location: Fl.
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Wilma,
I am so sorry that you are havingt to go thru this. We have had to put mom in a psychi hospital to re-eveluate her meds a few times. It has always resolved her problems. I hope this can work for him too. They can evaluate him and get his medications right for him and this time. You had to make sure he not a danger to hmself you or anyone else! You did the only thing you could do!
Gerry I agree with you, this disease...you do haveto fly by the seat of our pants. No one understands that unless you LIVE it!
You all in my prayers everyday!
Tammy

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I Can Do All Things Through Christ Which Strengthens Me! Phil. 4:13


Fri Feb 05, 2010 4:14 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:47 pm
Posts: 32
Post nursing homes
Do most of these families get to keep their LO home or do a lot go into nursing home. It is hard to take to do the nursing home thing when he can carry on good conversations, can dress himself, feed himself, enjoys a game of skip-bo every day. It is just the delusions--that make it dangerous for him to stay home. Is this the reason most go to 24 hour care?
Wilma 74


Fri Feb 05, 2010 11:23 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Wilma, my husband was in an Assisted Living Facility [ALF] for a few months that was strictly for dementia residents. Everyone there was ambulatory, could feed themselves and do most of their personal care. But it was a secure [locked] unit. There was a courtyard, and residents were allowed to wander freely during the day and in the indoor hallways even at night. All twenty residents were delusional.

My husband was in there because I was busy selling and buying houses and moving our stuff but he has been home with me for the past five months. His delusions are a lot worse [tonight they're nearly intolerable] but I'm hoping to keep him home as long as possible. Since he physically requires more care now, he would probably need a Skilled Nursing Facility [SNF] if I have to place him again. Most of my friends and acquaintances in our position have their spouses in facilities of some kind. It's just about inevitable because their behavior becomes too difficult to manage.


Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:25 am
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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Wilma,
If your husband is a danger to you, he cannot be living in your home. Hopefully his medication can be figured out so it will be safe for you. But not everyone is able to live with their loved ones.
Robin


Sat Feb 06, 2010 2:30 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3316
Location: Vermont
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I have never had this experience, thank goodness, and I am very, very sorry for those of you who are experiencing violence in your LO. Is there a way of keeping your LO in a secure place (if they live at home), like a bedroom that you can lock from the hallway? Or, are they mobile and apt to strike when you least expect it and you are near them? If they are limited in mobility, perhaps a room that you can lock if you can predict that they are about to get violent? Just a few ideas in case that might be an option.....
I have a friend whose 38 year old brother had to be put in a nursing home because he had inoperable brain cancer and the dr. predicted that he could become violent. I know it was heart-wrenching for his family when this was the only answer since he too, was capable of carrying on a conversation and doing all ADLs at the time he was moved. But, his wife and daughter were not safe, and their safety had to be more important.....


Sat Feb 06, 2010 9:33 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Keep a portable or cell phone with you at all times [sometimes I forget]. There have been a couple of times I've locked myself in the bathroom and once he tried to break the door down. A few weeks ago he tried to hit me with his cane. Using a few tips I learned years ago when I worked on an acute psychiatric floor, I never turn my back on him in the late afternoon and evening; I try to de-escalate his anger by listening and agreeing; I keep a safe exit available. If you feel yourself in real danger, call 911, tell them your husband has dementia and his behavior is out of control. Hopefully, they will not harm him, but take him to a facility for psychiatric evaluation. In major cities, there is a psychiatric crisis team for the police to contact in these cases.


Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:32 am
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Joined: Mon Feb 04, 2008 7:47 pm
Posts: 32
Post delusions
I thank all who wrote me. It has been a very hard week. His threats are against our neighbor (who is also our renter). My husband wants to "throw him out". He has not hit me yet but was getting close. I try to just listen, but he "wants a confession, and request for forgivness". We did get him to a large hospital emergency room, on his own, and he even signed himself into the psych unit---with a last fireing shot at me that he hoped I was happy now. We have been able to secure a room for him at a state Veterans home. His meds are being changed, he was on Namenda and Aricept. The Namenda will be stopped Mon. and the Aricept decreased. This Dr. seemed to think the Namenda at least might be contributing to the delusions. I don't really have a place to lock him in to confine him, and since we live in a duplex, and the object in the delusion is so close, we have decided he needs to go directly to the home. It is so very hard, since he does still take care of his necessities and carries on good conversations, enjoys life, with the one exception.


Sat Feb 06, 2010 10:56 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3316
Location: Vermont
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Oh Wilma, my thoughts are with you. It must be so hard. I hope you don't feel guilty for having to place him elsewhere. I just read in "How to Care for Aging Parents" (I realize that it is your husband, not a parent, but still pertinent) something that helps me feel a little better. It is not YOU who are doing things to your LO, it is the disease and aging that is doing it. I don't know how old your husband is, but in my dad's case it is his 88 years and the disease that have taken all but his shrinking body...... I have to keep reminding myself that, and that my dad is in a safe place with people who are taking care of his every need. In your case, you are being responsible for your own and your neighbor's safety, and if you focus on that it may help reduce any feelings of guilt. (I think most if not all of us feel guilty about whatever we do, especially we women. We are great at beating ourselves up!) I hope you can have a peaceful day today. Lynn


Sat Feb 06, 2010 11:03 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Just remember: He doesn't realize what he's really reacting against. His delusional state is very real to him. I remind myself of this on an hourly basis. :wink: For many years, I thought it must be my fault and was at my wit's end trying to figure out what was going on. Knowing it's a disease makes it easier, even if it means he sees me as his enemy--or an imposter-- at times.


Sat Feb 06, 2010 12:37 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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Wilma,
The veterans homes are very good facilities. I wish they would accept non-veterans too.
Robin


Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:14 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:18 am
Posts: 276
Location: Washington State
Post Coping with Violence: If your Loved One Changes
When my LO was in a violent phase, I found the publication, "Coping with Violence: If your Loved One Changes" to be really helpful. It is straight-forward talk for caregivers about how to protect oneself and cope with the situation. I found it by going to the LBDA homepage and searching on "Coping with Violence". I hope it helps others.


Sat Feb 06, 2010 1:34 pm
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