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 Caring at home 
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Joined: Fri Feb 16, 2007 6:43 pm
Posts: 11
Location: Chico, Ca.
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I am so very sorry for your loss. You were so brave to have brought her home and should be very proud of your efforts. Just the fact that it gave your Dad such joy. You will always have that and she got to know just how much you really loved her to do this.
God Bless.
Stephanie


Fri Mar 02, 2007 1:39 pm
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Joined: Sat Aug 19, 2006 5:01 pm
Posts: 79
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cmiller,
I am so sorry for your loss. It is still a shock, even if she was ill a long time and it was expected. But especially since it seemed she was holding her own and looking forward to going home. The bond between Mother and Daughter is special and it is one of the hardest losses to bear. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Sallyann


Fri Mar 02, 2007 7:46 pm
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Joined: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:51 am
Posts: 31
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Thank you for all of the nice messages. Today was extremely hard but it was a beautiful day for Mom. I have never seen so many flowers and plants at a funeral and Mom dearly loved flowers. Our friends and family just kept coming. It was so touching. I couldn't believe the people who came and told me they were there because they had lost a parent and knew what I was going through. Her services were so beautiful. The priest's sermon touched everyone's heart. My brother ended the services with a tribute to my Mom. There wasn't a dry eye in church. The church choir sang like angels. If Mom was looking down on us from heaven I know she was pleased. I have a feeling of peace. I miss her so much but I miss the Mom that was whole and well. My Dad had a pretty rough few days but I think in time he will be alright. He will be able to start living his life again. For so long he didn't do anything but work and care for Mom. Again, thank you for your kind words. God bless all of you.


Sat Mar 03, 2007 11:47 pm
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Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2007 12:49 pm
Posts: 3
Location: South Yorkshire UK
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Irene Selak wrote:
Hi Sue,
I wish you well in your decision and only you know what you are capable of. :wink:



Thank you so much for your replies. Dad is still in the NH. Hopefully I'll be able to bring him home in the next few weeks. The people there have been very helpful and have told me that if we struggle when he does come home they will be only too willing to take him back into care if necessary.


Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:10 am
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cmiller wrote:
If Mom was looking down on us from heaven I know she was pleased. .


I'll bet she was!I know the peace you are feeling is the fact that your Mother is no longer suffering and free of pain!
God Bless you!


Sun Mar 04, 2007 10:45 am

Joined: Tue Feb 06, 2007 8:35 pm
Posts: 51
Location: Toronto, Canada
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Hi CMiller,

Sincere condolences on the loss of your dear mom. Your dad must be shocked too. I could hardly believe what I was reading. You have my prayers for you and your family. On some level your mom did know, didn't she? Blessings to you and your dear dad,

_________________
Dale
[My dear, Mom, Beatrice, (born in 1929) was diagnosed with LBD in Dec 2006. She passed away peacefully on July 12, 2013 at Embassy Hall, Shannex, Quispamsis, N.B.]


Tue Mar 06, 2007 12:31 am
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Joined: Thu Feb 15, 2007 12:49 pm
Posts: 3
Location: South Yorkshire UK
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Well, the decision about bringing my dad home to live with me was taken away from me as he passed away unexpectedly on the 12th of March from a pulmonary embolism.
I'm devastated. I feel so guilty because I didn't keep my promise to him to bring him home.
I was fully prepared for him to be with us for another few years. I just don't know what to do with myself.
However on an unselfish note, I do realise that his condition would only have worsened and that he is now reunited with my mum and out of harms way.
Thank you for your replies to my original post.
Love and best wishes to all of you and your loved ones.
Sue


Tue Apr 03, 2007 3:16 am
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SueUK wrote:
Well, the decision about bringing my dad home to live with me was taken away from me as he passed away unexpectedly on the 12th of March from a pulmonary embolism.
I'm devastated. I feel so guilty because I didn't keep my promise to him to bring him home.
I was fully prepared for him to be with us for another few years. I just don't know what to do with myself.
However on an unselfish note, I do realise that his condition would only have worsened and that he is now reunited with my mum and out of harms way.
Thank you for your replies to my original post.
Love and best wishes to all of you and your loved ones.
Sue


Dear Sue,
I am so sorry for the loss of your Father, Please don't punish yourself for not bringing hime home, it just wasn't meant to be and you Father is finally released from this horrible illness LBD. Time will heal and the good memoies will shine through.I wish you well!


Tue Apr 03, 2007 10:00 am

Joined: Sat Jan 27, 2007 8:38 pm
Posts: 712
Location: CA
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Sue --
I'm so sorry for your loss. Your dad knows that you had the intent, the willingness, the desire to bring him home -- he would not want you to be feeling guilty, would he? We're sending prayers for you and your family your way...

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Renata (and Jerome-in-Heaven)


Tue Apr 03, 2007 12:44 pm
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Joined: Sun Dec 03, 2006 12:51 am
Posts: 31
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Dear Sue,
I am so sorry for your loss. That is how my mother died. I thought we had months left. She died suddenly on March 1st. The sitter just turned her from her side to her back and she left us. We are just now recovering from the shock and realizing that she is in a better place, we are not. We are four children and my Dad. Each of us feels guilty over something we should have done differently. Everyone who has suffered a loss tells me they felt the same way. I am going to give both of us some advice. We need to focus on the things we did do to care for our parents. We were both blessed to have that opportunity. I kept a journal of the conversations Mom and I had during the last months of her life. I read them over and over because I don't ever want to forget the special time we shared. I look at pictures daily. I am so afraid I will forget what she looked like, what her voice sounded like. My heart is so heavy for you and for all of the members who have lost their loved ones and for those that have ahead of them what we are going through now. People keep telling me time helps to heal the pain. It is amazing how quickly the time flew by from August on when Mom started getting really sick and how slowly the month of March has passed. God bless and hold you. Cindy


Wed Apr 04, 2007 7:15 pm
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Joined: Thu Jan 18, 2007 11:38 pm
Posts: 65
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Hi Cindy and Sue,
I read both of your entries with great interest. First let me say that my father, I don't think, is near that stage yet. But like everyone else here - that is only a guess it could happen tomorrow. I can't say what I will feel when he passes but I have recently experienced great, unexpected loss. My sister, 47, died in June from cancer. It was a painful death for her but what was so hard for us is that she didn't tell anyone. She knew something was wrong with my dad, knew her cancer was incurable so she did not want to worry any of us, we think. We will never know and we were racked with guilt. But what we have come to understand is that we won't ever know and there is no way we could have changed things had we known. She knew we loved her and we knew she loved us. We have had to go on and take comfort in that. This disease, though, that we all deal with here, it is so horrible in so many ways but I think in the way we all torture ourselves over what we should, could or won't do. It is so much harder on the families because there is precious little we can do- heck we don't know what stage our loved ones are at, can't get people to give us a dx, most of the time we are flying blind. When I read your letters I felt great sorrow for you both, but as I told my husband, in tears, I also felt great envy. Your parent's suffering is over they are at peace and there are many moments when I would pray for that for my Dad but also for our family. I hope people don't think me uncaring but I long for the day when I can remember my dad with joy the way he was most of his life, not as he is now, when I know he is at peace. He often speaks with the people in his life that have passed, so I view this as a transition to the next life. I pray that you two will not feel guilt but will rejoice in your parent's life and move on and live and embrace your life - you did good.

Love,
Kani


Fri Apr 06, 2007 11:20 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 26, 2007 2:29 pm
Posts: 57
Location: Wake Forest, NC
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Kani, thank you for your letter the end of your letter where you say you wish your dad was in a better place. I wish everyday that Jackie would just let go. I go everyday to the nursing home,I try and feed her dinner which every night she does not eat. I have the same conversation with her because she does not remember having it the night before. I brush her teeth put cream on her dry skin, and she falls a sleep which she does 21 hours out of the day. I would never consider not going but it is so hard each night knowing that I will see her in such a state of sadness.

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Phyllis
taking care of Jackie 74 years old mother -in-law


Sat Apr 14, 2007 12:11 am
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