Years ago I had a friend with 2 small children- once in a while she'd call and just say talk to me -I need to hear another adult. Now I understand why. It is difficult and bathrooms in the dark can be a real surprise -not a good one.
I've thought about painting the bathroom yellow- at least it would coordinate
Sharon

Hi All - new to the forum but have posted before on other issues. Thank you all for sharing your heart! Just wanted to say my hubby has been hypersexual and I know exactly what you are talking about. They don't get either what we are going thru as a caregiver and to put on the wife hat after wearing a caregiver hat all day does not mix! Living with this disease is awful I certainly agree. You all have expressed everything I've felt too. I am happy to say that after an agressive attack my LO was put on meds and that dimished his sex drive, it was risperidal/risperidone. He's on such a low dose but even that made him not be diligent in his daily amorous wants.

He too has peeing and pooping issues and now have learned from you all to carry a change of clothes and gloves and wipes! He ended up pooping in the dentist office on the floor even though the caregiver set him right, he scooted around sideways and on the floor it went. It is so GROSS to pick this up. I gag and gag. That in itself is embarrasing too when you're out!

I take my hubbby to the ladies room with me and actually a couple weeks ago watched a older gentleman take his wife into the ladies room to help her. I used to announce that I'm taking a "man needing assitance" as I walked into the restroom, but now I just walk in and if I see any weird looks I just tell him he needs help. So far only one person gave me the "look", most people are with it enough to see they are handicapped.

This bathroom issue is huge for me too, so I'm glad to see I"m not alone! I'm so tired of washing and washing and like you said, looking to see what color the grout is or if there is a puddle or splashes all over the seat.

May God see our love for our LO and give us the grace and mercy and strength in the days ahead to endure, especially crap! I am sending you great big hugs because you understand me!!! Thank you. Keep sharing.

Lori

What amazing women we are! Who knew that marrying for better or worse meant facing the pee and poop issues. I know just what you are feeling about the yellow bathroom because I tried cleaning it, on my hands and knees, with a toothbrush a few days ago. So what does "he" do? He gets up last night, pulls off the catheter tube and heads for the bathroom to "go," so he says when I yell at him, "what are you doing?" At 5 am, I am helping him back to bed, reattaching the condom to the tube, and cleaning up the puddles. Tonight he'd better stay in bed because I really need my sleep. What a way to live....
Doris

MM ,
How long has your husband been on the seroquel, 25 mg really is a tiny dose. Sometimes these down turns just happen, I guess it is just part of the disease. I hope things improve for you both!

I thought I would add my poo story to the others. So far I mostly just wipe my husband after he goes. I can do that. Anyway last Saturday our son, his wife and kids came over. Robert was confused and a little agitated(which is becoming normal when there are several people around). He did say a couple of time he needed to poo and was put on the toilet. Did not go. My DIL and I decided to take the kids for ice cream. When I walked in, the house reeked of poo. Robert had had his first poo accident and I did not have to clean him up. Did have some bathroom clean up. I can do that!!!
I guess I will add that Robert clogged the bathroom with poo at the medical clinic last year. That was embarrassing!!
Lorraine

MM- Sorry to hear of your LOs downturn and anxious to hear results of the hospice visit. Yes, our DOs would be so upset if they knew of the undignified behavior they are exhibiting...it would horrify them. I try to make as light of things as possible but it sure is difficult at times.

We are going through a downturn too...and hope its just a lewy episode. Urinated on the bedroom carpet...in the bed, etc. I too sometimes find the Depends thrown on the floor. He is sleeping a lot..off and on most of the day. Hallucinating, delusional, etc. Thinks we have 3 puppies instead of just one. Wants me to feed the "kids" here..there are none.
I noticed his appetite which was good is now dwindling to small portions. He seems "out of it" a good share of the time...but says many times that he thinks the end is near. Maybe he knows something I don't.

My son came for a visit..bless him..cleaned out and rearranged the garage and did a ton of chores for me. I don't know how to make him understand how appreciative of his help I am...a neighbor helped too. They know its aid for me but I wonder if they truly know how much it means to us that we really need those extra "hands." Those are the true blessings. I did a picnic lunch on the patio for all and we enjoyed some good conversations. LO sat with us for a short time but then came in to nap. LO started falling after breakfast today...son caught him or he would have taken a very bad spill.

For those of you with tile...I have a company coming out who is going to clean the tile...twice...and then seal the grout and tile..twice. I told them what is happening here and all the cleaning, accidents, etc. They suggested the above method to keep the urine from penetrating the grout and seeping under the tiles. We had this done 2 years ago and they are suggesting we do it again.

I have had so many sleepless night lately...or just an hour or two here and there...that my insides feel twitchy...squirrely. And yes, I can relate to those who say "I don't like what is happening to me." What a terrible, horrific disease!

Hugs to all

Dear Friends...I mean that - we must stick together. We went to a 50th wedding anniversary today in a town an hour and a half away. Wayne did pretty well until we were coming home. I stopped for gas and was filling up when I saw him heading into the gas station. He had gotten out of the car by himself which he usually can't do and was "loose". I asked him where he was going and he said to the bathroom. Well, He hasn't gone to the bathroom by himself in many moons. What could I do - leave the pump and get him. He was in a resistive mood any way so I just let him go and finished filling up...went into the gas station and found him down a hallway looking for the bathroom...so that was good and I helped him find the bathroom and "go" even tho he was sure he could do it by himself. Then he didn't want to get back into the car. He walked around the gas station for a good 10 minutes looking at all the candy etc. Being resistive. Finally, I bribed him by saying lets go get a Frosty at Wendy's. It worked. Cheers to us all!!

If my Mother gets in a store it takes forever- she wants to look at everything. If we have lots of time she usually doesn't want to go in- however if I'm in a hurry -she has to go in. She can manage to get out of the car but will fall if someone isn't right there to balance her.
Good Luck
Sharon

Hi everyone. I just wanted to share a tip for potty odors in the carpet. I found that Natures Miracle, the product you can buy at the pet stores, works wonder on urine and feces odor. I always kept a galllon of it under the kitchen sink. Hope this helps.

Hello all - How do you all wash your LO clothes after accidents? I mean if they poop and it goes down their pant leg and all over, what's the best way to pre-rinse this? How do you all not gag and loose it when you are doing this? Do you wash the pants in the tub first, throw them in the waher's pre wash, what??I had to take them outside and hose them down a couple times and the sand and mud rubbed some of the poo off but I would think there would be an easier way? Help! !No he doesn't wear depends because most of the time he lets me know when he needs to go, but once in a while ewww!
Thank you all your courageous ladies!!

Lori, Frank has had very few accidents, he does wear the tighty-whities, so most of it is contained. Those I clean in the toilet as I did with our childrens diapers, then I put ALL the dirty items thru a wash. After they are poop free I redo them as usual. Of course that's after you've CAREFULLY removed all their clothes and helped them into the shower and cleaned the bathroom. One of the things that surprise me is Frank just stands there doing what I ask and never comments about the accident??

Take Care, Gerry

Will try the Natures Miracle. Always open to suggestions that help to deal with the ugliness of this disease.
We are experiencing an increase in the incontinence. I try to get him to wear the Depends all of the time but he fights me on that issue. At least he wears them at night so its some relief. As far as the poo messes...I have trashed the pants that are excessively soiled as I don't want to ruin the washer. I could go on and on regarding this subject but I am worn out tonight.

Thanks to your postings on using the urinal - I found a wonderful tool! It is the non-spillable urinal for men and it works! If you screw on the outer rim tightly so they can't remove it and use the child-proof cap - no spills! Fortunately I think I have started this early enough. It is wonderful at night because he has such great difficulty getting out of bed. Shop around for prices as they vary greatly. The plastic washes up well.

We haven’t yet reached the incontinence stage, thank goodness. Has anybody tried to pee/poop proof the bathroom and/or relevant part of bedroom/hall, etc.? How?

I’m thinking something like cheap, non-slip mats or rugs on floor and something taped onto walls? Thrift shop stuff perhaps? Puppy piddle pads on some areas?

Gail

I try to listen when Frank goes into the bathroom and I help, hold and empty the urinal and clean him after a BM. It's much easier to be there with him than to clean up after he's taken care of himself. Not the life we had planned for retirement, the good old "Golden Years".

Take Care,