View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Wed Jul 30, 2014 11:19 am



Reply to topic  [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4
 Bathroom Issues Return 
Author Message

Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post bath room issues as well as other issues
I really hate to feel this way but my husband is starting to gross me out.... I know it isn't his fault and that he would be so embarrassed if he knew I was grossed out or sharing this but when he pees on the floor or doesn't eat like adults do (oh, maybe stuffs food in his mouth or can't put something on the fork or can't pick up a sandwich) or taps his feet repetitively when trying to move to get out of a chair.... I just wonder what God was thinking when he chose me to handle this because I am not good at it. He is only 59!!! Of course I help him and clean up his pee and help him with his food and tell him to move his feet more slowly... but I look at him sometimes and don't feel good about my feelings. I am ashamed that I feel this way at all because I do love him dearly and know that I am so blessed to have shared my life with such a good man. OH, I HAVE A QUESTION - My husband is getting UTI's a lot these days... Sometimes he has this pungent smell about him... I have mentioned this to the nurse and she doesn't really know why he would have this smell - but I think it is the urinary tract infections what do you think?????????? thanks, Cheryl


Thu May 20, 2010 6:38 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post about spouse not responding
Gerry, I was reading what you said about your husband not mentioning "the accidents" or not commenting on something and my husband does the same thing... I wonder what he is thinking? When he falls or does something that is out of the ordinary he doesn't mention it but when I say something about the incident he says he remembers it - it is just ODD. Cheryl


Thu May 20, 2010 6:45 pm
Profile

Joined: Sat Mar 28, 2009 6:01 pm
Posts: 101
Post 
Cheryl,

I went through a long period just like the one you are dealing with: My husband couldn't control the pee, nor the eating. I had to eat separately; I couldn't bear watching him stuff the food in his mouth and let it drip out. The pee situation was not solved until I started using a condom catheter, first at night, and then night and day. The bowel issue is with us still, but I've gotten used to dealing with it. The eating gradually changed as I had to start feeding him.
As for the pungent odor, if his underwear is wet with urine, it could be from the UTI. In my husband's case, the urine collects in a bag and there is no odor until I empty it. Urine that is infected does have an odor. How are you dealing with the UTIs? My husband also suffers from them, and each time also suffers a setback in his overall health. We have to watch him closely, and make sure he gets plenty of fluids. That is the best way to flush out the bacteria. But I do know what you are going through. I thought I'd never get used to it, but somehow I did. You will too! because you love your husband so much.

Doris

_________________
Bay Area, CA


Thu May 20, 2010 7:46 pm
Profile

Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post 
Cheryl,
When my dad developed a strong body odor, I bought boxes and boxes of those nice, large wipes (one good brand is Tena) and every couple of hours I'd wipe any skin that was accessible. I also started washing his hair more often. Those things worked to keep the odor tolerable.
Robin


Thu May 20, 2010 8:41 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post 
Cheryl, I feel as you do. The bathroom situation is ok because I am usually with him. I get so frustrated when he goes himself because he doesn't pull his underware and jeans down far enough so then I have wet smelly clothes. It seems like he deliberately does things but his Dr said he doubts it, he just doesn't remember or get it. The drooling is when I feel guilty about my thoughts. He stands like an old man, leaning forward with drool flowing out of his mouth puddling on the floor. I told him,I knew he couldn't help the drooling but at least walk around with a cloth and wipe your mouth. He probably never will and I've tried not to walk around in stocking feet, because they get soaked and I get frustrated. I hate this disease, but I hate the drool more. It does limit where we go, it's very uncomfortable when we're in public. His eating is just like a toddler, sometimes I do help him finish. I do love him but am very sad with my caregiving role, I am far more of a caregiver than a wife. Thanks for being so honest, I've felt it but have trouble saying it out loud.

Take Care, you're not alone.


Thu May 20, 2010 8:54 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post Doris and Robin
His "smell" is so strong and he bathes every day and I make sure he has deodorant on... the smelling funny has just started within the last couple of months... I just a while ago today got back results on UTI and it is negative so I just don't know what the smell is... and yes, Doris, the UTI's make him really go downhill for a long time... He has had 2 UTI's in 6 weeks so I was just sure he had another one - but he doesn't. Last week we had an appointment with Ron's psychiatrist, who is supposed to be really knowledgeable about Lewy and he didn't know at all about UTI's being an issue with Lewy.... He immediately went on line and said it was a Parkinson's thing and he seemed very surprised that the kidneys were an issue at all... Do you think there is ANYONE who actually knows much about this disease? I know there is a guy in the UK who researches this disease - his name may be McComb?? something like that.... but I don't think anyone knows much... except maybe the caregivers....


Thu May 20, 2010 9:02 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post gross
Gerry, I am getting where I don't want to eat with him at all.... his eating habits are pretty disgusting and I am so busy watching him eat and helping when I need to that I either shove my own food in or really don't want to eat... also, he leans over like your husband and most of the time has his mouth wide open... and, on another note, it is weird, he doesn't even question that I hold his hand and lead him or try to make him move a little faster or keep him from getting distracted so we can get where we are going.... ugh... the constant vigil makes me stay exhausted.... Cheryl ps... my hardwood floors are pretty sticky in some spots - and that is with a housekeeper once a week and me cloroxing or sanitizing constantly.... probably shouldn't use a clorox-type cleaner on hardwood - but that is the least of my worries...


Thu May 20, 2010 9:15 pm
Profile

Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3316
Location: Vermont
Post 
It's so good that we all have this place to vent and share even our not-so-admirable thoughts. But, we are all humans, not perfect, trying very hard, exhausted, and we are going to all have some amount of resentment, embarassment and other not-so-positive thoughts and feelings.
I can't eat with my dad anymore for all the reasons you feel like you can't eat with your LO. He has to be fed, but fights it because of dignity issues, so most of his food is on his clothes and the floor when he tries to feed himself. He doesn't have the drooling issues that some of you are dealing with, but we end up with food and drinks all over the place. I try to be with him for some meals when I am in MD but I've found that eating before or after I am visiting is much more enjoyable for me.
These dementia issues are just plain horrible! We have to enjoy those moments (if there are any) with our LOs where there is at least a little normalcy, and those get fewer and further between, don't they? If I can even exhange a sentence or two with my dad successfully that is a big deal!
It's all ok to say and get it out there - otherwise we bottle it up inside and make ourselves sick! Have a good night everyone. Lynn


Fri May 21, 2010 5:39 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post bedtime
have a good night everyone!!!!!! OR at least have an uneventful one... night night. Cheryl


Fri May 21, 2010 11:03 pm
Profile

Joined: Sat Sep 22, 2007 5:53 pm
Posts: 90
Location: Texas
Post 
Cheryl, the last time I suspected a UTI for my husband it also cultured negative.The symptoms that I observed were dark strong smelling urine, and small amounts of pus on his depends. I did a home test and it was positive. I kinda bugged the doctor's office until I got an antibiotic for him, and that cleared up the symptoms. Could it be that the antbiotics were not strong enough or the right kind to totally clear it up? Best of luck to you.
Lorraine


Sun May 23, 2010 1:50 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post home test for uti
lorraine, i didn't know you could do a home test!!! thanks for the info... will check it out at the drug store. Cheryl


Mon May 24, 2010 11:44 am
Profile

Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:32 am
Posts: 215
Location: Kalispell, MT
Post Incontinence protection
Has anyone tried a sham-wow type product as a flat and super absorbant layer for incontinence protection? They are washable. I bought another brand at Target (sorry, Vince), but we aren't at that stage yet.

They really don't mildew--mine has been wet, in it's container for months.


Thu May 27, 2010 8:37 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2007 9:44 pm
Posts: 118
Location: Nashville, Tn
Post KALISPELL MONTANA CALLING!!!!!!!
GAILSHEF???????? My husband is from Bigfork... we used to live in Missoula... Does your husband have Lewy???? Cheryl


Thu May 27, 2010 9:29 pm
Profile

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
Post 
Regarding the drooling. When my LO was lucid enough that we could discuss things, he reported that he didn't feel the drool so didn't know he was doing it. I just became more aware and gave him a tissue or wipe when I saw it...it was our silent way of dealing with it so others would not know. It helped a lot of the time but not always.
As far as the bathroom issues...boy...thats a real doozie! We tried about everything I read about on this site. Many things helped. The portable urinal for men was wonderful. When I could get him to wear them, Depends were great. I bought a steamer to clean the floors. But there were plenty of times I could have just sat down and cried...and I did..many times...especially after cleaning the floor for the 3rd time in the middle of the night... so know what you are feeling.
I hated that LBD was so demeaning to him as he was such a clean, fastidious person. And yes, we all have feelings we don't want to have at times....we are humans...doing a superhuman job! But do bear in mind....this will not go on forever. When you think you cannot do it one more day...somehow you muster up the strength and do it...and if you really cannot do it anymore...get help as its too hard to do alone to the end. When your LOs are gone you will be proud of all that you have done for them. After my LO passed I questioned myself: could I have done more? The answer was always ..no...I could not have done more and in retrospect I am amazed that...I...an untrained...soft stomached person....did all of this caregiving stuff..and saw it through to the end with him. So while I too questioned myself over and over...you can tell that by some of my past posts....I am now proud of how well I did....and you should be proud of yourselves too...this isn't an easy task you were handed. My heart goes out to all of you on the journey. Hang in there. Stay strong. Blessings to all of you. Although your life will be different...there IS a life after Lewy.

_________________
Dianne C.


Tue Jun 01, 2010 1:51 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 59 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.
Localized by Maël Soucaze © 2010 phpBB.fr