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 Help! Hygiene and toliet tissue 
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
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b

Even if you have to hold the urinal at least its better than scrubbing floors all of the time :) My LO was able to do it alone for a few months then he started holding it upside down, sideways, pouring it on the counter or floor...now I just don't fight it and hold it myself.
We even made up a little song to relieve the stress of it and the embarrassment for him...he hates the bathrooming routine and is still aware of how demeaning it is to him:
put your weenie in the bottle and go wee
put your weenie in the bottle and go wee
put your weenie in the bottle, put your weenie in the bottle, put your weenie in the bottle and go pee. Good job!
Whatever ...whatever works. Now we are resigned to singing little bathroom songs :lol:

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Dianne C.


Mon May 11, 2009 2:45 am
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Joined: Fri May 22, 2009 1:04 pm
Posts: 46
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Post Urinal
I burst out laughing when I read the stories about guys holding the urinal upside down, sideways, vaguely nearby, or up in the air like the Statue of Liberty's torch. So been there! My husband is incontinent and can no longer walk to the bathroom (and his physical disability progressed faster than his dementia) but, especially when he's fatigued or having a bad day, he finds every possible way to miss the urinal and/or any protective pads I have in the bed, pulls down his Depends to let fly into the open air, etc. Mixed-up fragments of old habits, when the brain can no longer take in new information.

I also think it was very wise to observe that childhood experiences with toileting are setting much of the pattern for what happens now. I think I am blessed in that regard. My husband isn't terribly bothered by his incontinence, and never has been, even when he was less demented. I was able to deduce from this that when he wet the bed as a small child, his mother (whom I knew -- a wonderfully kind and humorous person) was very kind about it and it was their secret, kept between them from his stern (Eastern European, Germanic) father who probably would have beaten him. I sometimes get exasperated and frustrated with it, and he asks me what's the big deal? I am really glad it is not a big deal to him, and it helps me calm down and even laugh.


Sat May 23, 2009 9:14 pm
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Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:27 pm
Posts: 146
Location: Fl.
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I always wondered why Mom went to the bathroom so much. I see now she is obssed at it. She always thinks she has to go. She does not know she has to go until she feels the wet pull up. I always go with her, and have to do everything for her. I use to let her wipe herself until I saw she wipes the wrong way. She was getting as lot of UTI's at the Nursing Home, now I know why. So I wipe for her too. She is fine with that. Thankfully she still catches herself when she has a bowel movement. We haven't missed that one yet. :)
She always does have to go top the bathroom everytime we set down at a resturant, and it is bad when she looks at the bathroom and refuses to go in their. Now some I don't blame her. I just try to clean them up , but one day at the mall we went to 3 diffrent ones and she refused all of them, and we live an hour away from town. I do use the inconienience Pads on the seat in the car and every chair she sits in at home, the same one's we use on her bed. Better safe than sorry. :)

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I Can Do All Things Through Christ Which Strengthens Me! Phil. 4:13


Thu Jan 21, 2010 12:53 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
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As the composer of the "weenie in the bottle" song, thought I would weigh in.
My LO is no longer in Lewyland as he passed on the end of August. I am thankful that he is not suffering anymore but the loss is great!

When I read about the bathroom issues so many memories come flooding back. Yes, he held it upside down, sideways, etc. It shows how irregular the mind becomes with LBD. My heart goes out to all of you who are still on the path...or scrubbing the bathroom floors in the middle of the night. Keep a positive attiutde and sense of humor as much as possible.

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Dianne C.


Thu Jan 21, 2010 10:56 pm
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Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:11 pm
Posts: 117
Location: Tucson AZ
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Dianne, hadn't read this post before and I"m wondering if the weenie song was to the tune of "if You're happy and you know it clap your hands"? That just cracked me up. Thanks for the laugh tonight. Thanks for still posting.A great big hug to you across the miles! I know how much you must miss scrubbing those floors in the middle of the night.....NOT!


Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:55 am
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
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Lori - How extremely perceptive of you!! You're right on the money with the tune we sang it to. Do you think we could go on Name That Tune?? :lol: My LO found the bathroom issues to be so demeaning to him so I tried to make light of it. It made him laugh. Sometimes when he was trying to use the urinal by himself, and forgot how to use it, he would come in the room with a smile on his face and ask me: how does that song go again? I would sing it and he would say: oh yeah, put it IN the bottle. Then I would go in and help him. We would both laugh. Though I "lost it" many times, often I thought about how it must have felt to him and how mortified he must have felt. He knew what was going on a good share of the time and just hated LBD. I felt so sad for him.
How are you doing? I think of all of you a lot. Have not posted too much as I am still going through the healing process.
Big hug for you today and glad you were able to laugh today. :D

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Dianne C.


Fri Jan 22, 2010 12:12 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3406
Location: Vermont
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I just read all the postings under this heading, and I in awe of how much more patience many of you have for this than I would have had! Who knows what I would do if this were my spouse (God forbid).
For several years before I knew my dad had dementia, when he would come visit the bathroom needed to be cleaned from once to several times a day. I had no idea why he wasn't hitting the toilet, but my husband usually cleaned up after my dad. When it got really bad, I said that my son who was still at home, I and my husband would each take a day and clean up after my dad. It was disgusting enough when there was a big puddle on the floor and got worse when "other things" were stuck to the toilet seat, etc.
I blamed it on his vision and kept telling him to please get his glasses checked.
When we visited his house, even if the cleaning person was there a day before we got there the bathroom was such a mess and I would get really mad and disgusted and my husband would clean up the mess! (unless I was there by myself).
Needless to say, I knew nothing about toileting issues, incontinence and dementia. His hygiene got really bad about a year ago and it was so embarassing telling him to get back in the shower and scrub where it mattered most. I didn't know he had ataxia and couldn't reach those "nether regions". I wish I had known back then what I know now. It would have saved both of us a lot of anguish.
Anyway, like I said, many of you have so much more patience that I do. You deserve a lot of credit for doing what you do!


Fri Jan 22, 2010 2:20 pm
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Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:11 pm
Posts: 117
Location: Tucson AZ
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Dianne - seems like if you sing something to me I can remember it better than if you told me so I"m always going around here singing stuff to my hubby. I do need to get a urinal and stop struggling trying to sit him down all the time or "lean on down" as I call it as he doesn't bend his knees. I wondered if you would be posting or just glad to get off of lewyland and breathe and sleep now. I know when my mom passed away that all the things she had done and ugliness and frustration I felt was gone and suddenly she turned into a saint of a mom! I keep trying to tell myself that with chuck and I try to appreciate everyday that I have with him, his smell, his touch, the way his skin feels, his laugh, his gorgeous blue eyes. I want to get a video camera to tape him too so I can look at him. Do you have tapes of your loved one?

The bathroom issues and accusations are the pits and almost the worst part of this disease. I'm sitting here drinking hot cider because we actually had a cold day here in AZ and having a pity party for a while. II keep thinking it'll only get worse from here so appreciate what little functioning he has as I'll probably be changing him in bed which will be far worse. God give us the strenght to do that! It's so tiring and weary and my bones hurt and joints hurt no matter what I do. I will sign off and get to my bills. Have a wonderful weekend all!


Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:30 am
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
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Location: Minnesota
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I have such admiration for all of you. I'm also a little queezy about what's to come. So far Mom only needs help to get to the bathroom, a reminder to wipe and a clean-up when it gets more interesting. Only occasionally do I have to strip her bed and make it up in the middle of the night.
Does this happen to everyone? Mom's a depression era farm kid who grew up using an outhouse and cammode. I wonder how that will manifest itself...
I don't think I'll do much redecorating just yet.

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Sat Jan 23, 2010 10:57 am
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Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:27 pm
Posts: 146
Location: Fl.
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Mom does sometimes over flow and I do have to change the linen. She is so obsessed on going to the bathroom it does not happen a lot. I do however use a lot of Under pads for the bed. I put one on the mattress and one on the water proof linen cover and them one also on the beds bottom sheet. I know it is a lot but that also means the less I have to wash.From washing her clothes so much from over flows from that and the heating I hate to see our electric bill this month. lol.
Tammy

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I Can Do All Things Through Christ Which Strengthens Me! Phil. 4:13


Sat Jan 23, 2010 11:51 am
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Just thought I'd add another toilet-related item. I had a container of baby wipes in his bathroom which I would use to clean him up with but he would occasionally flush them down the toilet. Now I have discovered Scott flushable wipes, so he can use them, too, and flush them down without plugging up the plumbing. Maybe I'm the only one who wasn't familiar with this product [I don't get out much :wink: ] but it's a great find for me. --Pat


Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:00 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3406
Location: Vermont
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Hi Kate - that's a good question about whether it happens to everyone. It sure seems to be a pretty common theme, doesn't it?
At least by reading all these discussions, articles, etc. you can get prepared ahead of time. I keep thinking "if I had only known about this disease" and "if my dad's dr. had told me he had dementia when he suspected it" and so on. I felt so blind-sided, and now in trying to establish a graph for my dad's symptoms, there were things happening 3 years ago that I just never connected to anything like dementia. I thought a lot of behaviors were from his lack of exercise, life-long poor diet (a Hershey bar and a Coke for breakfast all his life, just to give you one example), just getting old and grumpy. In hindsight, his symptoms all look like Parkinson's (except for the trembling thing) and LBD.
It may not seem like it, but like I said, you are lucky you are getting knowledgeable before a lot of this stuff happens so you can prepare for it. Armed with knowledge, I can learn to handle just about anything. Living in a vacuum, not knowing, is very disarming and disturbing for me. I am so glad I've found this web site.
All the best in taking care of your mom.


Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:07 pm
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Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:27 pm
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Location: Fl.
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Pat,
Those are great! I bought them also, we ran out and I sent my husband to get some more. Well he came back with the baby wipes and sometimes I would forget and flush them. I keep hoping our toilet does not back up. lol.
I will get some more flushable ones as soon as I can get out.
Tammy

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I Can Do All Things Through Christ Which Strengthens Me! Phil. 4:13


Sat Jan 23, 2010 12:10 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: Help! Hygiene and toliet tissue
Pat A..... You often mention that Dale is about a year ahead of Derek and I just noticed this post dated last January.

I actually was looking for more info on Ataxia... and there isn't much here in the postings. Is that symptom typical of Lewy? I don't remember seeing it on the 'Stages' list.

I clean Dale regularly now. When he tries to do it himself, he makes a dreadful mess ... so we don't go there anymore. I did not know the wipes weren't supposed to be flushed. Our septic tank is probably full of them. :oops:
:

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:07 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Help! Hygiene and toliet tissue
With Derek in the SNF, he has to be picked up with the sit-to-stand and placed on the toilet which is a fairly involved operation. So when he has so many 'false alarms' [BMs only, he has a catheter] it's hard on everyone involved. Then, when he does really have to go, they don't always get him on the toilet in time. Sometimes he is not aware that he has already gone in his pants but I smell it and the girls get the sit-to-stand, which is a great device for an efficient bottom-cleaning position.

INCIDENTALLY, the newer Depends adjustable pull-ups are so much better. Not only can you close any gaps by using the adjustable tabs but if you need to change them in bed, they can be ripped easily up the sides and used as diapers. I'm going to Costco tomorrow and hope they carry them. Walmart does.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Fri Jan 21, 2011 4:19 pm
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