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 uncontrolled behavior 
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: uncontrolled behavior
It just proves that Derek is a very unusual man..... :lol:

Sorry, I couldn't help that.... :twisted:

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Tue Nov 16, 2010 4:55 pm
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Joined: Wed Aug 11, 2010 2:34 am
Posts: 54
Post Re: uncontrolled behavior
I am always concerned with dad being at the ALF and not participating in the activities that they organize for the residents. As I think left to his own devices he would go to his room and be drawn to his delusions and nobody is any the wiser. I always ask him "What did you do today?" when I visit and sometimes he can relate a story but mostly talks about the delusions he experienced during the day. Usually the staff have changed over before I get to see him and there is no one who can directly say what sort of day he has had. He will be getting a visit today from two very dear friends whom as children we lived in a caravan at their house as children and their mother is a dear friend to my mother.
The ladies one of whom has suffered bipolar will be at least understanding of what dad is going through and the other has just been diagnosed with thyroid cancer they are both beautiful souls and I adored these girls as a child and am looking forward to seeing them both and seeing dad have a happy visit from people from his past. I know there will be emotion during the visit too but in the end will make dads day a good one.
Asked mum about organizing a massage for dad and she was happy for me to look into it. Thought it would be way of helping him relax I will be present through it incase anything untoward happens but I hope he will enjoy it and if he does will make it a regular thing for him.


Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:23 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: uncontrolled behavior
One thing I noticed when my husband was in a dementia care facility last year was that the residents don't interact much. They each seem to be in his or her own little world.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:36 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: uncontrolled behavior
When my mother was placed in the 'home,' we imagined interaction with the other residents because there were just five others. (Six was all they accommodated.) My sister picked out some pretty clothes for mother to wear - thinking that she would be stimulated with all the friends she would make and want to look nice.

What we discovered was that even though several of them could sit at a table together for meals. they said nothing to each other. In fact, our mother was so disruptive that she wasn't allowed to sit at the table. (Her habit was to grab the tablecloth and try to pull it off the table.) They finally put a tray in front of her wheelchair and she was always off to herself.

The pretty clothes eventually disappeared as they got mixed with other dirty laundry. I hope I am never in a 'home' at the end of my life.

I hope you continue to visit your father often, Kelli.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Tue Nov 16, 2010 7:52 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post Re: uncontrolled behavior
Kelli, Frank has a massage every other week, I'm sure it helps and he is so relaxed we keep asking him if he's awake. Our PT sessions didn't work out because he couldn't figure out how to do any of the exercises. I try to do some stretching and twisting with him and we usually walk 1+mile a day. I hope your dad enjoys being pampered.
Gerry

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Gerry 67, cared for Frank 71, married 49 yrs; dx 2004, passed away October 26, 2011.


Tue Nov 16, 2010 9:48 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:18 am
Posts: 276
Location: Washington State
Post Re: uncontrolled behavior
Maybe my mother lives in an unusual dementia facility but I've been observing the residents pretty much every day for a year and they do interact. A lot. Some of them show a concern for others. I've had one lady who can barely speak lead another one who was coughing uncontrollably to me by the hand so that I could help her. Others form social groups of two to four. One such group of three regularly got together in the evening to share their delusions and try to figure out a way to escape from the facility (they failed). Two ladies right now are at about the same level and they sit together at meals and walk together. My mother doesn't have firm friends there (except with caregivers) but she thinks that she works there as a nurse and she tries to care for others. There are the "pacers" who walk around and around the square's halls, often saying hi or how you doing or excuse me when they pass. Sometimes the grouchy "pacers" pick a fight and the bossy ones try to make others walk a certain direction. There are those who set their wheelchairs in the middle of the hall purposely blocking people. It's a community of 32 people and unless they are completely bedridden in their room they have a relationship with other folks with dementia.

One tip about clothing (and everything else we want to keep) - we write my mother's name with permanent marker on each sock, underwear, sweater tag, etc. It all goes in the laundry together.

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Annie, daughter of brave Marie, dx 2007 and in ALF


Tue Nov 16, 2010 11:20 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: uncontrolled behavior
Perhaps the interaction in a community of 32 is quite active just because there are so many. Thanks for sharing your experience. It was interesting and entertaining to read. It is undoubtedly much different in a 'home' with only six 'residents.'

As for clothing, it has been my experience in all three of the situations where my family members have been in nursing facilities that 'nice things' disappear even when the name is written in the back of the garment. The rule is to never leave something you don't want to have stolen. My sister was naive to believe that she could leave such things for mother to wear and use.

In fact, we learned not to leave candy in mother's room. It would be all gone by the following day - while mother was sleeping. We brought only what mother could enjoy immediately.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Tue Nov 16, 2010 11:52 pm
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