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 Coping with Violence: If Your Loved One Changes 
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Before he started on the Exelon patch two years ago, my husband was having violent episodes. I called his neurologist's office and reported the problem. They started him on the patch and it made a world of difference. For a brief time during a stay in a SNF, he was taken off the Exelon and put on Risperdal, which made his PD much worse and he became nearly immobile. I had him taken off the Risperdal and put back on the patch and he improved immediately. I don't know if the Exelon continues to do anything for his cognition [it did, at first] but I am convinced it keeps his anger under better control. He still shows occasional outbursts but, so far, no more violence.


Mon Jan 11, 2010 11:42 am
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Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:27 pm
Posts: 146
Location: Fl.
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thank you robin, and mockturtle
maybe that is what I will ask the Doctor to do. Increase her meds She started on Seroquel 4 day ago. Last night she still was hallucinating, and she kicked me! I was surprised. She wanted to get out of the bed because she said it was not her bed and she kicked me because I was in her way.
She came out to the living room and sat for a bit and she was fine and I asked her if she was ready to go to bed she said yes and went to bed.
Her hallucinations were bad after seroquel. I will talk to the doc monday about it. Thanks ,
Tammy

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I Can Do All Things Through Christ Which Strengthens Me! Phil. 4:13


Sun Jan 17, 2010 7:56 am
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Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:23 am
Posts: 201
Post seriquel
I don't know if this helps or not but I checked back in my diary and I believe it might have been about 4 months until we had really good results from the seriuel. Of course every one is different.
Mary


Sun Jan 17, 2010 11:36 am
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
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Hello all,

You should be proud of yourselves for the wonderful job you are doing with your LOs. Many people don't understand LBD till they have walked the walk. If the decision should arise where a LO must be put into a home, so be it. You have to make the right decision for your particular situation.
My husband was on Aricept and Seroquel, with good results, almost to the very end. That said, it may not be the combination for others. You have to try different meds till you get the right combination for your LO.

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Dianne C.


Sun Jan 17, 2010 12:37 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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Tammy,
Seroquel doesn't resolve 100% of the hallucinations for everyone. Some LBDers find no medication to resolve 100% of the hallucinations. But, I would say that if you are seeing frightening hallucinations AFTER Seroquel, this might mean that it's not the right drug for your LO.
Robin


Sun Jan 17, 2010 5:54 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3432
Location: Vermont
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I just started reading these posts that go way back and they've been helpful. The past 2 days my dad has been so angry and aggitated when I visited him, I just can't stand to be around him. He is usually like this with my sister, but his fist-shaking, very angry facial expressions don't happen as often with me till this visit. Almost everything seems to make him mad, especially when I can't understand him and ask him to repeat. Today he was worse than yesterday.
One of his cgs told me he hit her with his fists repeatedly a few days ago when she put him in the whirlpool tub. Luckily for her he has as much strength as a piece of cooked spaghetti.
His arms and hands were totally limp, he could barely hold a spoon, but his trunk and legs were so rigid it was hard for them to get him into and out of his wheelchair. It's like his joints have been welded in one position.
I'm taking the day off tomorrow and not visiting him. I just have to re-gather my strength! Can't stay at my dad's house - 2 construction workers running jackhammers all day! Oh, this is such a fun visit.... :cry:


Wed Jul 07, 2010 5:20 pm
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
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Lynn, Hang in there, we keep trying to remind ourselves that these actions are not our LO, but the disease. We know it but we are human and sometimes get stretched so thin that we feel like throwing up our arms and saying "I GIVE UP", I guess even if we could, we wouldn't.

Take Care, Gerry


Wed Jul 07, 2010 6:15 pm
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Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:02 am
Posts: 537
Location: MI
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Has he been checked for any infections? any changes in meds?
quite often something is happening when they change quickly.
Hang in there- you're doing your best!
Sharon

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syt


Wed Jul 07, 2010 6:29 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3432
Location: Vermont
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Thanks for your encouragement and suggestions. It's not like this is a huge change in behavior, it's just that his frustration and anger happen a little more each day, and since I see him for about a week once a month, I notice the deterioration more, perhaps, since there are several weeks in between my visits. His meds have not changed and he doesn't appear to have an infection.
His best friend called today and said it's harder and harder for him and another good friend of my dad's to visit because he is so angry much of the time they are there too. It's been a steady increase in the frequency of his outbursts over the past 6 months or so.
I know it's the disease but it still gets very wearing after a few hours. The only time he seems a little content is when I bring him food he likes and I eat in the ALF library with him so he doesn't have to go to the dementia unit for a meal. I wouldn't say he's happy then, he just isn't angry, which is a lot better than his temper tantrums.
Many of you know what this is like. It stinks, and it doesn't get better.
Thanks, Lynn


Wed Jul 07, 2010 9:06 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Location: Vermont
Post Re: Coping with Violence: If Your Loved One Changes
The first 10 days I was in MD I visited my dad 8 of those days. He was angry, shaking his fists at me almost the whole time I was with him. ?The last day I was there he asked me when he'd see me again and I told him I had to go back home to VT he asked me why I was leaving, and I told him I needed to get back to my own family and activities. I said I'd been there for 10 days so far and needed to get back. He said "well, why is this the first time you've visited me?" After the 500 mi. drive to MD, plus the 640 roundtrip mi. from his house to his ALF 8 times, I just wanted to sit down and cry.
Now that I am back in my own home he is having his CGs call me to find out why I'm not there with him and when I'm coming to see him. I just spent 13 days away from home, but even so those calls do a real guilt trip on me. And the thought of sitting there with him shaking his fists at me with his very angry face doesn't make me want to get back there in a big hurry.
I have asked his drs. to coordinate with one another and see what can be done to make his meds help him with this constant anger. His friends are hardly visiting now because he does the same anger thing with them. We all know this isn't who he really is/was, but it doesn't make it any easier to sit there for hours and try to keep him company. It is heartbreaking and exhausting. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Mon Jul 19, 2010 9:55 am
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Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:18 am
Posts: 276
Location: Washington State
Post Re: Coping with Violence: If Your Loved One Changes
Lynn, My Mom has temper tantrums too. Especially if I've been away for a few days I think she tries to "punish" me. She doesn't shake her fists at me but she does say she feels like hurting me. She has destroyed things in her room (actually tore the toilet seat off the toilet, for example). If she has a temper tantrum she says all kinds of mean things to try to make me cry. If I cry, she stops. I've decided I won't be manipulated anymore.

If I'm at the ALF I can see when a temper tantrum is coming on and I know that about 3 hours later it will be over. Like a storm...we call it a brain storm. I can't talk her out of it and it doesn't really help for me to be present. It is terrible to be there in the room with her while she is trying to hurt me. Oftentimes I speak to her for awhile, then wait outside her room for it to pass. This last time (last night) I told her I was leaving and I did. I came home. Mom told me today that she was able to stop herself from having a brain storm. I never know what is true if I'm not there to see it, but I think it is possible that she controlled herself last night after I left.

I don't know the progression of your Dad's temper tantrums. Would it be possible to wait them out somewhere else?

Good luck to you.

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Annie, daughter of brave Marie, dx 2007 and in ALF


Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:00 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3432
Location: Vermont
Post Re: Coping with Violence: If Your Loved One Changes
Hi Annie - He can only control himself for a few minutes. Last week I took one of his neighbors to see him. She hadn't seen him since last year and she is just a lovely older woman. I could tell he was keeping himself in check for the beginning of her visit, but he eventually "lost it" in front of her and I had to take her home. She left crying because he is in such terrible shape and she never had seen him other than his friendly, jovial personality he used to have. She was really sad, and he just could not keep the temper under control.
I saw his psychiatrist last week and told him about the almost constant anger, whacking his hands on anything hard and splits the backs open, being out of control with his friends and family. He said he'd either change his Seroquel to something else or increase the dosage. I need to check to see if that's been done yet.
Sometimes I do walk out of the room for a few minutes but as soon as I'm back there he goes off over some other thing. He rarely exchanges words with anyone without being in a horrible rage. I just have to accept that this is how he is, unless we have a medication miracle.
Sorry to hear your mom is angry a lot too, Annie. Thanks for writing. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Mon Jul 19, 2010 10:27 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
Post Re: Coping with Violence: If Your Loved One Changes
Wouldn't you just like to give LBD a good smack now and then??? :roll: Your dad really doesn't want to be this way...it IS the disease. Increasing his meds or changing them may be in order. I sometimes thought it was our LOs way of communicating his hatred of what was happening to him...and it came out as anger. Angry he had to be like that. I was fortunate that my LOs hallucinations were not frightening or threatening. We used to talk about what he was seeing...frogs on the chairs, kids on the back patio, etc...and laugh about them...laughter made it non frightening. I think back to when he was talking to the chair...I asked who he was talking to..he would get this silly grin on his face and say: ahhh, its only another hallucination. So pat yourself on the back for being a caring child and give dad an extra hug.
Blessings to all
Dianne

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Dianne C.


Fri Jul 30, 2010 12:26 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
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Location: Vermont
Post Re: Coping with Violence: If Your Loved One Changes
My sister and I have been trying to get his meds changed since May. That STILL hasn't happened, but now that he is on Hospice and my sister spoke with the dr. consultant for Hospice, things may happen. His other health care providers don't seem to communicate, work as a team with each other or the family, and they basically ignore family requests. I am so fed up with the CNPs (his primary care providers) and his psychiatrist I could just scream. My sister has been doing a lot of follow up this week with the Hospice nurses and that seems to be going in the right direction, finally. We'll see what happens.... They don't want him off Aricept and Namenda, yet that appears to be why he has been angrier for several months. His cognitive level works enough now that he knows how bad off he is and is super depressed and angry about it. Yet, they think it's just great that his cognitive level is better. Like AnnieN said in a post a while back, it takes some juggling to get your LO to a place where they have some cognition but they are more content. Just when he was getting to that lala land of contentment, without consulting the family he was put in Aricept and Namenda. Now we are fighting to get him off of it or change his meds or something. I'm going to have a primal scream now......Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Fri Jul 30, 2010 2:06 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Coping with Violence: If Your Loved One Changes
Lynn, it seems really unlikely that Aricept and Namenda are increasing your father's anger. Most of us have found these types of drugs help control agitation and anger. At least in the early years.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Fri Jul 30, 2010 3:12 pm
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