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 Is it something I said or did? 
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Joined: Sun Nov 10, 2013 9:26 pm
Posts: 75
Post Is it something I said or did?
As the LBD patient, I get in trouble more time than not, for dong what I thought was something good! For instance, I do the laundry when my wife is out of the house. I don't use the buzzer for the dryer when I do things that don't wrinkle. So, I turn it off. My wife washed some of her things today and put them in the dryer. She did not check the dryer buzzer switch and I was in trouble! Or I used the wrong cleaner to clean the inside of the microwave, or the hand cream pump does not work right, and it is always me getting yelled at!! Now, I know she has a lot of stress dealing with my disease. She thought this was going to be our "Golden Years". But the only gold is the stain in my skivvies when I have a "soiling" incident! But, I am not to blame for the disease or the little things that irritate her. I am doing my best, with the limited energy and brain power that I have, t help around the home. If I was doing nothing, I am sure I would be in trouble also! So, my advice to caregivers is; Find a way to deal with your stress that does not include mental beatings of the LBD patient!! I know that would make my journey easier. Soon, I will not be able to help. Then she can do all the laundry!

Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:21 pm

Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: Is it something I said or did?
Your wife is only human and yes, it is very stressful dealing with Lewy. But I can also understand your feelings and your wanting to help as long as you are able. I think you should show her what you posted here. She may not realize how she is making you feel. God bless both of you!

Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.

Thu Mar 13, 2014 9:27 pm

Joined: Thu Aug 15, 2013 5:39 pm
Posts: 44
Post Re: Is it something I said or did?
Thank you for your post Donald. I am having trouble keeping my mouth shut with my Don and it isn't until I say something that I remember he didn't do it to annoy me. Sometimes it easy to know it is Lewy, because of his confused look; but when he is doing well, I forget and then I feel badly for reacting the way I did.

Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:35 am

Joined: Mon Jan 27, 2014 11:10 pm
Posts: 88
Location: Canada, Ontario
Post Re: Is it something I said or did?
Hi Donald; So sorry you are going through this devastating disease. It is stressful for both yourself and your wife. Perhaps you could ask your wife what she would like you to do, and if you turn the buzzer off, write yourself a little note to put beside the dryer to remind you to turn it back on. I know that sometimes I can be testy with my husband, then I feel guilty. I realize it is the stress getting to me. If your wife can even get a weekend of respite it may help her to cope better. I am sure that she still loves you very much and that Lewy is breaking her heart as well as yours. Hope this helps, Anne

Fri Mar 14, 2014 2:01 pm
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