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 How do you know when it's time? 
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: How do you know when it's time?
Acknowledge and embrace all your mixed feelings right now. Life isn't fair! You mother doesn't deserve this, and neither do you! It is understandable you are jealous of others who have been more fortunate in this regard. Feel what you feel, and then move on. This is a glorious milestone in your life.

I wonder if you can include something of your mother's in the ceremony, and perhaps mention it in the program. "The flowers today include yellow roses, the favorite flower of Jaimie's mother, who is present in our hearts today." Or "Something old is Jaimie's pearl earrings, worn by her mother on her parent's wedding day." Just some small way to include her presence in the day. even if she cannot be there physically.

When I opened the program at my stepdaughter's wedding, I was surprised and moved to see that they had included me in a list of people they thanked for making the day special.

Perhaps before the ceremony or between the ceremony and the reception you can visit your mom in your wedding attire, and have your picture taken with her, if she cannot attend the ceremony.

Best wishes to you.

Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012

Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:25 pm

Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3441
Location: Vermont
Post Re: How do you know when it's time?
We attended a wedding a couple of weeks ago, and at the rehearsal dinner one of the family members of the groom got up and made a statement about the groom's grandfather (who has LBD) couldn't be there due to health reasons. They said how proud he was of his grandson and a few other things, so he was included in spirit if not body. Maybe you could have someone do something like that and even have a photo of your mom there, if that would be helpful. I am sad for you that your mom probably won't be there, but with some creativity, you and your family can come up with ways to include her. Lynn

Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.

Fri Sep 30, 2011 2:27 pm
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