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 Home vs Placement 
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post Home vs Placement
GB, I still have Frank home, I also would like him to stay here. He was in rehab for 9 days a couple years ago and I was there from 6:00AM to 8:00PM, I give all the caregivers credit for doing their best but the ratio is such that it was like an assembly line. He was clean and fed but that was about it. I can do that at home. With that said, Frank has declined a lot in the last several months, he resists almost everything and has started kicking and punching. He could wipe me out if he wanted but the kicks and punches have NO force behind them. I understand his frustrations and always comment, if you start hitting me, you can't live here. I don't know what he understands but he does seem to know he shouldn't hit. The only thing that hurts is my heart, we've been married for 49 years and he was always there with love and support, such a sad way to end our married life.

I do have a caregiver come each Wed. for 4 hours, but I work for that time in a family business. I also have someone every other Thurs. for 5 hours so I can do errands and make appointments. We have 2 daughters that live 30-45 mins away so I can call them, I keep telling them I saving my calls for when I REALLY need them.

Leone's husband started to decline quickly, with each of her postings I was surprise how rapidly it was going. Do read her postings, she was a wonderful wife and caregiver.

So, you'll have to decide when the time cames that your health is starting to suffer and you need to place your husband, just as I may have to do in the future.

Take Care of Yourself,

Gerry 67, cared for Frank 71, married 49 yrs; dx 2004, passed away October 26, 2011.

Sat Jun 25, 2011 6:39 am

Joined: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:25 am
Posts: 227
Post Re: Home vs Placement
We keep my MIL at home with us. In her case, she needs to be in a quiet place where the routine centers around her. Each day is different depending on her varying sleep patterns and when she is able to get dressed. Fortunately she is calm - just sits and stares at the TV. She has a routine - gets up watches Today Show, Dr. Oz, local news, Ellen, Let's Make a Deal, Dr. Phil, and then Oprah (don't know what will happen when Oprah goes off the air). When the 5pm news starts she finally emerges from her room and sits in the living room until dinner. After dinner it's back to her room until bedtime. The weekends can be confusing for her because her TV routine is disrupted. We deal with delusions, sleepiness, and seizures as they occur. Luckily, she can afford a caregiver five days a week for seven hours each day. Otherwise we would have to place her and I don't think we would have her for very long after that. The decision to place is unique to each family and is never easy. I think we all know in our hearts when the time is right. I'm also reading the posts about placing loved ones so I can be somewhat prepared when our time comes.

Donna (age 56) caregiver for mother-in-law Margaret (age 88).

Sat Jun 25, 2011 9:30 am
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