I found something on the New York Times web site that was interesting. This article is actually written by someone whose mother had AD but the commentary on the caregiver role applies just as much to LBD, I think. Also interesting were the reader comments, which cover quite a spectrum. Here is the location:

http://newoldage.blogs.nytimes.com/2011 ... -it-takes/

Julianne

Good article, and it unfortunately reminds me of times when I was not too patient with my dad, before I knew that his behavior was disease-related. Thanks for posting. Seems like it could have been written by any number of us here on the forum, huh? Lynn

Yes, I thought about the same thing.

Julianne

Thank you Julianne. I have to be honest and admit that I have had similar feelings of resentment towards both my parents at times. I've cared for them for the last 10 years, and sometimes I feel my life is passing me by. The therapy I am reciving now is helping me realise what that article just said - I am only human and I am not a bad person for feeling this way. Thanks again for reinstating that for me, Ger

thanks for posting this julianne.. been going thru some frustration, lack of patience and anger.. and then huge quilt....so this reminded me i'm not alone in feeling those things and gave me a bit of a pep talk..
thank you!!
cindi

Some of the reader comments are quite sad.

I've added this book to my summer reading list. Looks interesting.

yes,

Good to know we are not alone in our feelings. I hate the times when I was impatient with my mother. I am glad although I learned the lesson before it was too late!

I do feel like I lost my life.... I am still looking for it now after two years of her passing. I had to retire from my teaching job as the stress was just toooo much. I was tooo young to retire!!! You may be thinking ,well go back to work. Like I said I am still looking for my life. Hope I find it before too late! Many days I tell myself to get off this forum and move on. I feel stuck now that the care giver role is over. I was the care giver for both MOM and Dad starting about 1996.

Maybe I will take my own advice and stop reading about dementia and other illness. If so, I wish you all the best! May God bless you all,
Bye and good luck!
Sharon E.

in case you come back, sharone.. good luck.. wishing you the best.. its time for you.. enjoy!!

cindi

Sharon, I understand, I often wonder if I'll continue checking in when I'm no longer in Lewy Land. Although, I love to hear from some of the past caregivers, including yourself. Take good care of yourself, you've done a wonderful job with your caregiving duties, now it's time for you.

Fondly, Gerry

Sharon - I totally understand where you are with trying to figure out your own life now. When I was going through a divorce I think I was feeling much like you are now. I knew that my young kids would be with their dad about half the time and I didn't want to mope around missing them when they were with him. I decided to sit down and make a list of all the things I'd put off for years because I "didn't have time". The list ended up being about 2 1/2 single spaced pages. Some of the items at the top of the list I started, and some I still haven't gotten too and I'm even retired now!
But the exercise and the list made me look forward instead of back! I should find that list and see what I'm missing out on in my busy retired life! LOL
There are so many fun things to do, I also do some volunteer work, and life is very full. I hope you will find what makes you feel satisfied and get going on it! Lynn