I am sad that our life has taken this path, but I wouldn't say I'm depressed. But, for me, #6 made a bit of since. I do stay busy with keeping Frank clean, safe and trying to engage him in "anything". There are a few projects I've wanted to get done so I've made a list, that I'll work on as I can. I did remove wall paper, painted that wall, and hung new drapes. It took a little longer than normal because the laundry is never ending, and Frank is like a toddler set loose, so I'm always mopping, sweeping and straightening up. But when I go in the frontroom, I feel good. My stress level is tested when Frank resists most of his daily needs, come bed time, 6:15-6:45, I'm a bit frazzled but then it's my time and tomorrow is a new day. (except last night, I was up all night with him, so today, he's going to be a mess).

It's not an easy life but fortunately we have this forum and each other, I wish everyone a good day.

fondly, Gerry

This depression is a grief-reaction. We are grieving for, among other things:
1. Our LO [especially if he/she is a spouse!]
2. Our relationship [especially spousal]
3. Our own lives, activities, person-hood.
4. Our future plans.

The grief is compounded by the emotional, mental and physical stress involved in caregiving, including sleep deprivation. The article seems to address only these compounding factors, not the grief.

This grief goes on, week after week, year after year. We don't want our LOs to die but we know that this grief will continue until long after they do. We do our best in our role as caregivers. Even when we find we can no longer take care of them at home, as in my case, the grief continues.

Gerry, it doesn't sound like you are depressed in the clinical sense. That is great. Naturally you are sad. We all are. I understand about your frontroom. Last year my huge treat to myself was to have my home office remodeled. It really is nice to have a retreat from our chaotic demands. You are perfectly right that being sad is not the same as being depressed. While depression is extremely common among caregivers, not every caregiver has that condition.

Pat, very well said!