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 trying to get dad to drink water 
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post trying to get dad to drink water
hi, I was wondering if anyone has any tips on how to get Dad to drink water. He is very reluctant to take anything for me as he thinks I may have it dosed with meds ( he is right some of the time as its the only way to medicate him). I know he is dehydrated, as his urine is very strong, and he doesn't drink any fluid bar an odd cup of tea. I have tried to coax him with flavoured drinks etc, but he still refuses. I know dehydration is definitely affecting his sleep, his moods and his general health. Any ideas will b gratefully received, thanks

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:13 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3178
Location: WA
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
If you gave him bottled water that had been sealed and let him open it, himself, would that make a difference? I guess you could always tell him that, if he doesn't drink, he will end up in the hospital on IV fluids, which is true. Dehydration is devastating to the elderly and occurs for so many varied reasons.

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:41 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
Posts: 609
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
This is a serious problem. My mother was hospitalized twice for dehydration before she went into the SNF just because she wouldn't remember to drink no matter what I did. Dehydration causes an amazing array of problems.

Would he eat something frozen like a popsicle that is mostly water but he ought to see there is no way of "poisoning" it? But of course he's not going to eat enough popsicles to make up for not drinking fluids. What about giving him sealed bottles that he could see you couldn't have put anything into them? Or is he convinced that you can "poison" everything?

Could you see if the doctor can suggest some change in his meds? Maybe there is something that would help eliminate his paranoia. Obviously, eliminating the root cause would be a lot better than trying to craft end-around solutions to what he will and will not consume.

Julianne


Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:46 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
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Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
Lots of fruits are mostly water. You might focus on those.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 12:53 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
thanks guys, the fruit sounds like a good one - I haven't tried that yet. We've been down the sealed bottle route. He is extremely paranoid and thinks that we inject medication into even sealed bottles. God bless his imagination, is all I can say. He might try some fruit for me - must give it a try. I told him before that if he didn't driink fluids he would end up in hospital. All was great for a day, but then he forgot and it was back to square one again. He is on ebixa and seroquel, - I don't know if these deal with the paranoia or not. Have called his doctor and am waiting for her to call me back.

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:20 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
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Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
Two other ideas = JellO and fruit smoothies.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:22 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
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Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
again - great ideas, but he will only eat the same thing every single day. I discussed this with his doc and she said at least he is eating and getting good nutrition. He refuses to eat anything different, and what he does eat is inspected fully for as he calls it 'jollop'. He has porridge, white bread - God help us if we don't have the exact brand, tea, then chicken legs boiled in soup with potatoes and carrots, and a sardine sandwich - every single day. Used to eat ice lollies for us, but refuses these now also.

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 1:36 pm
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 463
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
I hate to suggest it, Ger. I mean well by it. If he is at a point at which dehydration is a very real concern, and his paranoia keeps him from letting you help him, you may be at a turning point. Has your father expressed his wishes in a living will or medical directive? Is it possible that he is choosing dehydration? Is it time to consider an SNF?

Admitting that I couldn't take care of Mom anymore was the hardest decision I've made so far and probably the second hardest decision I'll ever have to make. But when she was hospitalized with blood sugar around 600, I had to admit it was time for an SNF.

I've learned that it isn't always a big thing that is beyond us that finally forces us to make this decision. Sometimes it is something smaller, like controlling diet or making sure our LO takes in enough fluids.

If you haven't already gotten him on a waiting list somewhere, it may be time to start looking.

Remember that, as hard as you try, sometimes you just can't force someone to do the things that are good for them.

Kate

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Wed Feb 23, 2011 2:24 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
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Location: WA
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
Kate is right--you can't force him. The fact that you're trying to convince him to drink probably just feeds his paranoia more. I doubt he would want a feeding tube placed and, short of IVs, that's the only way to force fluids on him and it would probably require heavy sedation to keep him from pulling it out. Does he have an Advanced Directive of any kind that states he does not want life-preserving measures?

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:11 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
Posts: 1039
Location: Minnesota
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
Ger, if telling him about the hospital worked for a day, might it work for another day? Can you go through the entire explanation again each morning?

Could you be his taster? He opens a new water bottle and pours a little glass for you, and you drink it in front of him as proof of good faith?

How mobile is he? Can he make his own tea? If he made a pot, put it in a thermal pot, and kept it under his control, would he drink tea throughout the day?

I found my husband's paranoia to be very, very hard on me. Whew! For us it only lasted a few months, but of course that is too long to go without enough liquids. For us it happened in the first year, and has not come back, so there is some hope it won't be permanent. I certainly hope some med adjustments or new meds will help you get past this (an on to some new challenge, alas!)

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Wed Feb 23, 2011 3:25 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
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Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
Kate is also right about what makes the decision on putting an LO in an SNF or other care. It's not necessarily one big thing, but several smaller things that cannot be managed at home. That's how it was for my mother. The fact that it is not one big thing makes it harder to accept, though, because one keeps thinking that one can find a way....

Julianne


Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:00 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
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Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
I wrote a big long post but I don't know what happened to it :lol: The jist of it was that I have been avoiding thinking about sending Dad into a nursing home. He would give up, I think. Recently, during a lucid day, I suggested he go to hospital for rehydration, and he just cried like a baby, and said that he just wanted to be at home. It broke my heart. He drank about 7or 8 cups of tea, trying to prove he didn't need to go to hospital. I really am not emotionally strong enough to send him away just yet, even though I know at the back of my mind the day is coming when really the decision will be taken out of my hands and I will no longer be able to provide him with the care he needs.

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:12 pm
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Joined: Mon Feb 21, 2011 9:55 pm
Posts: 355
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
ps he is not very mobile - just goes from his bed to a chair. He is not capable of making tea for himself, and will only drink tea at certain times of the day. I think I'll try your idea of letting him pour it for me and then he might see there is nothing there - a great idea that never entered my head - thank you :wink:

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cared for Dad who passed away on January 28th 2013 R.I.P.


Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:15 pm
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Joined: Sun Aug 29, 2010 5:46 pm
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Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
Maybe you do need to remind him every single day that failing to take enough fluids will land him in the hospital.

Julianne


Wed Feb 23, 2011 4:16 pm
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Joined: Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:07 pm
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Location: Minnesota
Post Re: trying to get dad to drink water
Ger wrote:
I wrote a big long post but I don't know what happened to it


I've had that happen more than once and others have reported it, too. (So don't take it personally. :lol: )

I have discovered one cause. If someone else is replying about the same time you are and theirs gets submitted first, instead of your post being published when you hit submit you get a message telling you that there is at least one new post, and displaying it. I guess this is so you can incorporate a response to this new message, or perhaps delete your question if that response answers it, etc. You can edit your response and click Submit, or you can just click Submit without editing, but in this situation you have to click Submit after you get the "there has been another post" message, or your carefully thought-out and lovingly typed message goes off to cyberspace never to be seen again. :cry: Even knowing that, I sometimes get caught. It is easy just keep clicking in the usual way, without paying attention to messages. Easy, but annoying when it means your message goes away.

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Jeanne, 68 cared for husband Coy, 86. RBD for 30+ years; LDB since 2003, Coy at home, in early stage, until death in 2012


Wed Feb 23, 2011 5:03 pm
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