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 "Good Grief: Is there a better way to be bereaved" 
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post "Good Grief: Is there a better way to be bereaved"
Karen, a former support group member whose husband had autopsy-confirmed DLB, emailed me a link to a February "New Yorker" article on grief. It provides background on Kubler-Ross's "stage theory" of grief and explains how "reality can be far messier and tenacious." This is a good summary of what we know (and don't know) about grief.

Here's a link to the full article:


http://www.newyorker.com/arts/critics/a ... ge_orourke

The New Yorker
A Critic at Large
February 1, 2010

Good Grief
Is there a better way to be bereaved?

by Meghan O'Rourke


Sun Feb 07, 2010 7:54 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Interesting article, Robin. There are so many cultural variations on the disposition of grief. Most articles, though, discuss grief that occurs after a death. How many of us have been grieving for years?? I know I have. After all, I have lost my husband, my marriage, most of my old friends and all of the activities I used to enjoy. I have insomnia, palpitations, eczema and, for the first time in my 64 years, hypertension. Will I grieve even more if he dies before I do? Will only my own death end this process?


Sun Feb 07, 2010 8:37 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
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mockturtle,
You might be interested in this thread on anticipatory (caregiver) grief:
http://community.lbda.org/forum/viewtopic.php?t=908
Robin


Sun Feb 07, 2010 9:34 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
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Thank you, Robin. Yes, that's it, exactly. How can I learn to let go of the man I love, whom I married 34 years ago, and learn to love the man he has become? And how can I stop feeling exasperated because he doesn't believe I am his wife? Or getting impatient with him because he has become so helpless? These are the things I'm working on, with the Lord's help.

As difficult as caregiving is, I think the loss of companionship of our loved one is the hardest part.


Sun Feb 07, 2010 10:07 pm
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Joined: Tue Jun 09, 2009 11:11 pm
Posts: 117
Location: Tucson AZ
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I so agree!~Lori


Tue Feb 09, 2010 1:41 am
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