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 O.K., We've talked about eating, what about drinking? 
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Joined: Sun Oct 04, 2009 10:18 am
Posts: 276
Location: Washington State
Post O.K., We've talked about eating, what about drinking?
I know I drink too much to be healthy. I drink more if it has been a particularly stressful time with my LO or with my family dealing with my LO. There is a direct correlation. I bet I'm not alone. I have to think about whether I can respond to an emergency if I'm called out to drive. But it helps me to relax. And sleep. I've heard drinking called "self medicating". Anybody else there with me? Please don't get all moralistic with me. I'm doing the best that I can.


Sat Jan 02, 2010 10:43 pm
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
Post No judgement
I equate overdrinking with overeating. Really, they are both dangerous ways of dealing with stress. Where you might have a glass of wine, I might have chocolate. Neither is good for us, or even good for the people around us. But geez, it's hard to quit.

A couple of things:
If something happens, even if it is just that you believe that you don't have the balance to pick your LO up after a fall, and definitely in any emergency, call 911 rather than trying to drive after drinking. My next door neighbor is the city fire chief and he has admonished me many times for not doing this. I've told him that it seems like a small thing for a 911 call. His reply was that this is what they (the fire department) does - they help people. So if you ever feel that it wouldn't be safe for you to do something for your LO - call 911. It's what they do.
Also, even if the drinking doesn't seem that much now, be careful with it. Just like overeating, it can sneak up on you and before you know it, you've gone way too far. Have you talked with your doctor about it? They might have other, safer, ways to deal with stress. About 60 pounds ago, my doctor suggested kickboxing. I did it and it was wonderful - until I had back surgery (getting kicked or even kicking myself isn't good for the back after that). But I can't tell you how wonderful it was to hit that bag.
I'm checking into a well-known weight loss program this week, Annie. You call your doctor and we can check back with each other in a couple of weeks. Nothing like a little support from a compatriot.

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Sun Jan 03, 2010 12:18 am
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post 
Even if I wasn't on the forum, I learned never to judge, it might came back to bit you in the rear. I don't drink, I do like wine but never open a bottle unless we have someone for dinner and then I will finish the bottle. We have several family and close friends that are alcoholics, among them my mother and brother, tooooo close for comfort. I do love food, but again I have some obese sisters, none of it's healthy. This forum can be support for all our situations, our LO's brought us here and are also the reason for some of our decisions. It's a good place to vent, I don't know what I'd do without it.

Take Care,
Gerry


Sun Jan 03, 2010 8:18 am
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Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:17 pm
Posts: 104
Location: Arkansas
Post 
Annie, I too have a drink or two to relax but I am so worried I will get depended on it so I make sure it not on a regular basis. But now I am dealing with insomnia so have a drink really doesn't help with sleep in the long run. I know this is stress related for a lot of reasons in my life, mostly getting up so much with my mom. I'm going to have to get help from my doctor because now stress over time can cause chemical inbalance. Hopefully he can find something that won't knock me out so I can still care for mom. I've taken her trazodone a few times??? It seem so strange I can't even sleep when she sleeps and I can't nap for life of me. I do get one night a week help, but I have to take ambien to sleep. I'm worried about this cycle?


Mon Jan 04, 2010 2:21 am
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Joined: Thu Jul 03, 2008 11:05 am
Posts: 150
Location: Raleigh, NC
Post 
Annie,

We all know the feeling. Often when I'm driving home from seeing my mother, the whole way I'm thinking about the glass of wine I can have once I get there. But pulling on winter clothes and realizing they were tighter than I like made me rethink those empty calories. And I actually sleep much better without the wine.

Are you able to fit in a little exercise? That's the stress reducer I need most. I've never been able to establish and early morning routine, mid-day doesn't work with my work routine, and if I exercise when I get home at night, I get so revved up I can't sleep. I've promised myself to give early morning another try, but it goes against the grain.

Maybe with a repertoire of stress reduction techniques -- an occasional glass of wine, exercise -- even simple stretches, deep breathing, meditation -- you won't have to worry about becoming overly dependent on any one.

Garnet


Mon Jan 04, 2010 8:03 pm
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
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Oh, laurie. Please be very careful about using medications to get sleep, especially when the prescription wasn't written for you. My sister used every medication she could get her hands on - hers, her sons', her husband's - to deal with the stress in her life, before even knowing about Mom's dementia. It's been a long, hard, road to recovery and a real battle for her to stay there. If you're at the point of using medications not written for you, it's time to talk to someone about alternative ways to handle stress, and maybe a little respite care.
I know it's hard. I can't sleep much either, which is why I'm here now, writing this note. And I have used one or two of my own prescriptions occasionally, too, to get to sleep. And, yes I worry about that and have talked with my doctor about it.
The last thing your Mom would want is for you to end up with this kind of dependency.
Please be careful.

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Tue Jan 05, 2010 1:30 am
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Joined: Sun Jan 11, 2009 8:17 pm
Posts: 104
Location: Arkansas
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Katelu, Thank you for your concern. I've been so busy, not had time to read forum. Yes, I too have a close friend that almost ruined her life on prescription drug. And am very concerned about taking others meds. I knew enought about trazodone and was sick from lack of sleep and couldn't take my prescription for lunesta ( which I only take occasionlly when I had some one to care for mom) I was so desperate. Trazodone is an antidepressant. I did see my dr. as soon as it was posssible and he prescribed trazodone (his choice). I've been taking 50 mg since last Friday and am doing alot better. Falling back to sleep even after getting mom up to pee. I think trazodone work for me as I'm not depressed just stressed and ADHD. I had insomnia so bad I could sleep more than 4 or 5 hrs. even when I had several days respite. I recommend all caregiver talk to their dr. about their stress and not to wait like I did, thinking I was handling everything alright.


Fri Jan 15, 2010 1:24 am
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Joined: Tue Jan 05, 2010 5:27 pm
Posts: 146
Location: Fl.
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AnnieN,
I do understand the stress and wanting that drink to just relax. we use to drink all the time. Now we do not have anything to drink in the house except a bottle of Champaign a friend gave me a year ago. I think about a good Maker's Mark, but I know it will end up hurting me in the long run. I also would have a problem with getting up in the middle of the night with mom.
Stress is high with our LO, I keep telling myself I am going to start working out again.I found out at the docs. yesterday that I have gained 6 pounds since I have moved mom in and stopped working, and I am now moved into Post menopausal. (Would explain a lot) lol So Working out would be good, for both.
Just find what works good for you, but I do agree with Katelu, I would love to learn how to kickbox, or just boxing.Hitting something really hard sounds really good at times!!! Some type of exercise! It makes you feel so much better and also gives you so much energy to handle the day ahead.
Tammy

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I Can Do All Things Through Christ Which Strengthens Me! Phil. 4:13


Fri Jan 15, 2010 7:22 am
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Joined: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm
Posts: 464
Location: Minnesota
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Laurie, I'm glad you've gotten together with your doctor and have medications now at a level that helps. I, too, take an anti-depressant, Welbutrin. Not only because depression runs in my family, but also because I couldn't concentrate on things - I just spent time worrying about Mom. It helps, but I've been through a couple of dosage adjustments. I also take anti-anxiety medication, Celexa, because I seemed to be crying all of the time, even at work (which really plays havoc with the professional image). It's working beautifully. Maybe the two are working well enough to help me eventually get to sleep most nights. When I can't, I end up surfing the web all night and counting the days until Saturday, when I can sleep in. I seem to do better after helping Mom to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I think its because I know that I can expect her to sleep soundly for the rest of the night, which frees me to sleep.
I hate having to take prescriptions to get me through this. Exercise, I know, can help a lot. I expecially get a lot out of exercise that lets me hit things. Competitive things are almost as good, though I'm such a klutz I'm not very good at anything. Unfortunately, finding time for the gym means having to find someone to be with Mom and volunteers are few and far between. Mom gets so nervous when she doesn't know where I am that I haven't had the nerve to try respite yet. It's hard, isn't it, wanting to take care of our parents as well as they took care of us when we were kids.

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Kate [i](Cared for Mom for years before anyone else noticed the symptoms, but the last year of her life was rough and we needed to place her in an SNF, where she passed in February 2012)[/i]


Sun Jan 17, 2010 1:10 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3336
Location: Vermont
Post drinking and other "relaxers"
Hi AnnieN - I think I have been drinking more wine in the last year since I've been so worried about my dad, and stressed. So I do know how that can temporarily numb us out of our problems. However, when stress triggered a 30-year benign heart arythmia right before Christmas, and I had to go on 2 meds, I have barely had any alcohol. Even a couple of sips of wine makes my chest feel almost like it's burning inside, very irritated feeling, and now being on an anti-depressant (sertrinole or something like that) I don't drink at all. OK - I did have one small glass of wine a few weeks ago. I do not want to end up like Karen Quinlan - comatose for months or years, and then dead. So, instead, I have been doing a lot of emotional eating, and that has been going on for a while. So, although a lot of people tell me I look like I'm in shape I know I'm not, my BMI knows I'm not, my clothes know I'm not.
Since I was in the ER with this heart thing I have promised the cardiologist, my dr. and me that I will make a point to exercise regularly. I have been cross country skiing,snowshoeing, mall walking, and going to Curves. Every day, no, I'm just not that committed. But I have only missed maybe one day a week till I got a bad resp. virus a few days ago. As soon as I feel better I will get back to it. Have to for me, for my kids and husband, and my dad.
We all need help and support doing healthier things, me included. Please ask for help. I know I am going to be better about doing that too.
Lynn


Wed Jan 20, 2010 11:13 pm
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