View unanswered posts | View active topics It is currently Tue Sep 23, 2014 10:48 pm



Reply to topic  [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next
 Any Suggestions 
Author Message

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post Any Suggestions
Frank is still very mobile so he's wants to contribute with the house maintenance and yard work but he isn't able to remember how to use tools or run the rider mower. Yesterday he started to take it out of the shed but it was dead, he'd left the lights on, I thought, Good, and I continued to mow with the other rider. As I was heading back to the shed area I saw Frank on the ground with the mower over his legs. It was on a ramp so it just skinned his chins, but I had to push the mower so he could get up. We had spent 15 min talking that the mower was dead so lets leave it in the shed. He said OK. He's with it enough to get into trouble but doesn't think about the consequence. I feel like his mother and he resents my always saying "you can't do that". He's an adult so I'm trying to respect that but I get so frustrated trying to keep him safe and from destroying our home with his, so called, repairs. I'm guessing the suggestion will be just to continue to watch him closely. God bless all you caregivers.
Take Care,
Gerry


Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:27 am
Profile

Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:02 am
Posts: 537
Location: MI
Post 
My Mother was very active till recently (she can no longer walk)
I had to think and hunt for projects - folding laundry, sorting photos, drying silverware etc.
can he clean and oil tools to store for the winter? sort boxes of nuts and bolts?
you have to get really creative at projects because they have to be important- they are too sharp to give nonsense stuff to and have concentration issues so the project has to be easy and short. -when all else fails you just follow them around.
Mother can scoot her chair so anything she can reach is fair game.
I also hear she's an adult and will do what she wants
Good luck
Sharon

_________________
syt


Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:46 am
Profile

Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:21 pm
Posts: 172
Location: Ohio
Post 
Gerry: I am so with you on this sort of thing. And it's not getting better. My nerves are shot, & I've been struggling with my own health issues & I know that if I do not get better quickly there may be a bigger problem without me to run interference. More & more I am unable to leave him for any length of time because I don't trust him not to get into something.' His meds have been increased & it's helped, but it hasn't slowed him down quite enough. Yesterday I lost it when he wanted to drive to go shopping. I'm so frightened to drive with him that I have an anxiety attack which is not good. I told him that if he cared about my health he would let me drive, so he did. I was so relieved. Dealing with the stress is an ongoing struggle & for me there is no good answer. My children altho' very helpful & thoughtful live so very far away & they do call him regularly. My DD did come last out last week (drove 800 miles by herself!) to give me a hand & it was such a relief to get some sleep. I could go on & on, but I'm with you. It's so hard dealing with all this "stuff" especially if you're not feeling well. Oh well, this too shall pass. I'm thinking of you. Dee


Fri Oct 23, 2009 7:54 am
Profile

Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:23 am
Posts: 201
Post post subject
Ladies,
Looks like we are all in the same boat and feels like the boat is sinking.
I too have to be thinking all the time and finding little things he can do. I spend more time trying to keep him busy. If I don't keep him busy then he wants to slip into Lewy Land by himself. Sometimes he sits in the bathroom for as long as I will let him. If I ask him to come out and visit with me, then he will but that look comes across his face and I can tell he is slipping again. If we go someplace he begs to drive but I keep putting him off and telling him, its against the law. That helps and I give him the job of playing CD's while we drive. He loves music. This week we took a long drive up north for the fall colors. Something we have done now for several years. I thought the driving part would be more of a problem then it was. The car sits in the garage more than ever now because I just don't want to deal with the driving part. Today is my birthday and he wants to plan something for me but I know I need to do all the work and let him think he has done it. I hate losing him like this but my love for him just keeps getting strong because I know how much he needs me. I feel like all three of you ladies on this post are posting my own thoughts. Oops, there goes the bathroom door again. Better go rescue him from Lewy.
Mary


Fri Oct 23, 2009 11:05 am
Profile

Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:28 pm
Posts: 736
Location: LA
Post Happy birthday
Yes, I wish you a Happy Birthday! I know it will be an interesting one, making yourself smile so he will be proud of making you Happy. You can do it!

DrP


Fri Oct 23, 2009 11:14 am
Profile

Joined: Fri Feb 29, 2008 7:02 am
Posts: 537
Location: MI
Post 
Happy Birthday Mary

_________________
syt


Fri Oct 23, 2009 12:27 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post 
Mary, The fact that your husband remembers your birthday is wonderful. My husband doesn't usually know who I am, let alone my birthday. My daughters have got a card and gift for me, from him, the last two years and he didn't want to give it to me because I always running around with other men and I didn't deserve it????????
Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday dear Mary, Happy Birthday to you!!!!
Gerry


Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:24 pm
Profile

Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:23 am
Posts: 201
Post post subject
Thanks for all the Birthday wishes. I did have a wonderful BD. As you said Dorthea, I will build memories and they will be good ones. It was so cute to see how much it meant to him to provide the birthday cake. Our youngest son drove him to the store and he picked out a cake for me. It was a football cake :D (he loves football)
After we ate, he was working to clear up the dishes so I wouldn't have to. What a sweet man. I'm not real sure if he was really trying to help me or was he trying to avoid conversation with the family. Who Cares? It was a present to watch him as some of his old self emerged for a while. I really think his behavior is at its best when he is feeling useful.
Mary


Sat Oct 24, 2009 11:30 am
Profile

Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:21 pm
Posts: 172
Location: Ohio
Post 
Mary: belated birthday wishes. How sweet of your LO to do this for you. Wish I could say the same. Enjoy your time with him. Dee


Sat Oct 24, 2009 12:32 pm
Profile

Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post 
Dee, You had mentioned your Husband driving, I keep the keys to the car and truck hidden. Frank's license is good for 4 more years. :( He blames me for not letting him drive, his Dr said he doesn't think he'd be able to figure out how to drive. Maybe, but I'm not taking any chances. He does sit in the vehicles for 30-45mins, several times a week, and comes in to tell me to call the machanic, he has tried everything and it won't start. The problem is he didn't have a key but doesn't get it. So sad, driving was his life and I know he resents that I do all the driving now. We will survive!
Take Care,
Gerry


Sat Oct 24, 2009 7:23 pm
Profile

Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 7:21 pm
Posts: 172
Location: Ohio
Post 
The way I rationalize his driving is that he doesn't seem to drive any worse than lots of people I see every day on the road! That said, let me say that others have noted his bad driving, but a few of these old cronies aren't much better drivers. Fortunately, he mostly only drives to the mall every am for coffee with my cousin & some other older guys. He goes by all the back roads & does stay off the interstate. Other than that, I do the driving. If I were to take away the keys, I know there'd be hell to pay, but I'm trying hard to stay on top of things so that when the time comes I can take action. Dee


Sun Oct 25, 2009 10:31 am
Profile

Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2008 10:30 pm
Posts: 976
Location: Henderson, Nv.
Post 
Just saw your post today. A belated Happy Birthday to you! How loving to pick out a football cake for you :lol: Made me smile. Ahhh yes, that is one of those "memories" that you will cherish forever.

_________________
Dianne C.


Sun Oct 25, 2009 11:40 am
Profile

Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 11:19 pm
Posts: 28
Post 
My strong recommendation is to not let your LO drive. My DH seemed to be ok. Before we got the diagnosis of LBD, I discussed driving with his doctor. The agreement we had was that it was OK for my DH to drive because he was just going across the street to the grocery store and down to the corner to the drug store. Well, almost a year ago, my DH drove across the street in front of a car that he should have seen (but swears he didn't see). Thank God the lady was not injured badly, though she is suing us. That was the last time my DH drove. If I had any idea that he would have had an accident (he seemed so much more capable), I would never have let him drive. My DH is so good at appearing normal that he fooled even me.

I will admit that, when we got a new car recently (I finally admitted 2 cars were not really needed and let go of yet another thing showing the loss of our lives together), I let him drive the car in a parking lot at night when no one was around. He was so grateful it broke my heart. He is such a sweet and loving man whose heart and genuine caring for others is apparent even to those who don't know him.

_________________
May God hold you in the palm of His hand and shelter you in the light of His love.


Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:32 am
Profile

Joined: Thu May 14, 2009 11:19 pm
Posts: 28
Post 
Oh yes, Happy Birthday! Better late than never!

_________________
May God hold you in the palm of His hand and shelter you in the light of His love.


Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:33 am
Profile

Joined: Fri Jun 19, 2009 11:23 am
Posts: 201
Post post subject
Cryst
The driving is an issue at our house also. I thought that was a pretty good idea of letting him drive in the parking lot when no one was around. We live on a private circle. Might work for my LO also. Will keep it at the back of my mind. We owned a four wheeler (an ATV) I gave it to our youngest son. This weekend our son helped him operate it (he rode with his dad) That seemed to get the driving out of the system for a while, I hope.
Mary


Tue Oct 27, 2009 12:40 pm
Profile
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Reply to topic   [ 19 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2  Next

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group.
Designed by STSoftware for PTF.
Localized by Maël Soucaze © 2010 phpBB.fr