Frank had an appointment with his psychiatrist today and he, again, suggested checking into an adult day center. I know Frank would not be in favor of this but the Dr said check it out and ask Frank if he would just try it once a week for awhile. The Dr. said try telling Frank it would give him a break away from me, he is annoyed with me a lot. Has anyone else tried the day care, "I" don't need it but if I thought he would go and it would help, I'd give it a try. Except for his friends, I've always been his voice, OH, if I had it to do over, it would be so different.

Take Care, Gerry

Gerry,

We took my mother to a senior day care program for a while, to buy some time before having to move her from independent living. The staff were wonderful -- well trained and knowledgeable, and they tried hard to keep their charges engaged in activities. The setting was the fellowship center at a church, with tables and hard chairs. Greater comfort for old bones, especially for those staying all day, would have been nice but also would have raised the cost a lot, I'm sure.

Mother made one friend she especially liked, she became more and more resistant to going. She didn't want to have to get up and go anywhere. She also didn't care for many of the activities. I think she had trouble doing them but at the same time recognized they were far below her former capacity.

Some of the other people in the program, however, really seemed to look forward to having that time to socialize.

Garnet

In our local support group, most LBDers do go to senior day care. It can be wonderful both for caregiver and care recipient.

Gerry,

John has been going to a Adult Senior Day Center for over a year. At first he did not want to go, but I was working far from home and he couldn't stay home alone for 10 hours. I explained it as a Senior Club. The staff was wonderful to the people, they did simple exercises every day, had different entertainment come in from magicians to dancers to county wild life educators and also therapy dogs. They would even go on outing once in awhile. The day care was my salvation, after I retired I still sent him there so that I could do all my house and yard work and running errands during the day. I highly recommend it, it stimulates them and they are with other seniors. He still would complain now and then, but I just turn a deaf ear.

B

My mom goes to a wonderful one we call it the "senior center" 2x a week. She was very reluctent to go. She is very proud and didn't want to embarras herself. I reassured her they understood and would help her. This ones has recliners and even a quite room to ly down if not doing well. It is very stimulating for her and because she is in her "show" mode to do her best she is usually very tired the next day. She still is reluctant now and. then but usually does good once there. It also gives her part of herself back being out from under our hovering eyes. The place needs to understand the disease and the risk of them falling.

GW has been going to Senior Focus (day care)2xper week for 2 years now. At first he didn't think he would like to go there.I told him he was going to a "class" where they would help him do exercises and make new friends.and have a really nice lunch.,He said he would try it because he knew I wanted him to do it. even from the first, he could not tell me what he did there or even what he had for lunch(it was good tho), but it was an OK place to go. At this time he still is not sure where the bus is taking him, afraid he will not know where to get off(but it is a dedicated minibus to Senior Focus) I tell him he will go have lunch with his friends and do his exercises, and assure him I'll be here when the bus brings him home.
For me, having the expertise of all the staff there is invaluable !!! They evaluate his abilities and losses and report their findings that I can give to our MD. Also help me with advise thru any difficulties. While he is gone I get to do my shopping and appointments.
My advise is, I think the way you present the original Idea to them is very important--I know I would be more likely to be openminded about going to a "class" than to "daycare".
good luck!!!!!
Di

Frank's Dr has suggested, several times, he go to day care, we call it the "Senior Center", and I at least wanted to tell him we had checked it out. Our daughter was coming to stay with Frank but I asked him to go and he said OK, so Amy came with us. I find if one of our daughters suggest things, he tends to listen a little more, I think he's tired of hearing me talk. This center has a few LBD people and they also have Frank's Dr. We went for a walk later and I asked what he thought of it, would he like to try it once a week, and he said "I don't think so". Amy and I were very pleased, so I can tell the Dr. we did check it out and I do think, somewhere in the future, Frank will go. When, if, he goes I'm thinking I'll go back to work for the 5 hr that he's there. It's a family business, I had to retire early to be with Frank, and I know my sister-in-law would love the help and to have a day for herself. It would also pay for the center.
Take Care,

Gerry

Gerry,
Sometimes if we tell them "We" need it, they responf differently!

Yes, Irene, that is the only reason that GW started going- because I asked him to try it for a while, because I needed time to do some things that were being neglected. Now he does not question, it is just his schedule.
Gerry, it seems to be universal that they will listen to anyone other than their spouse, Glad that your daughter is on your side !!!
Di

My moms dr suggested we take her to one here in town. We checked it out and seems really nice. the trouble is mom insists that she will not go. she started crying when we asked her to just go check it out. She said "it's for old people". Everytime I bring it up she gets all upset for days. Maybe another time???
Diana

So sorry you have had a bad reaction to the day care. Do you ever take your Mom out to lunch ? Maybe try taking her to "lunch only" a time or two, at a day care center, where you can have lunch with her and then both leave shortly after lunch. I would go to one she has never seen before, or at least enter thru a different entrance. Just keep her focus on the fun lunch with you. If the care center has entertainment, musicians or sing along karrioki etc. she might relax and enjoy herself.
Some day care facilities have 2 different class rooms. Ours has one for patients that can still do things independently, where there are several activities going on at the same time. Some are exercising, some are doing artwork, etc. If you can find something that really interests her maybe the day care can make that one of their events of the day.
Good Luck !!! Keep thinking POSITIVE
Di

Thanks. I never thought of that. I will check with the care center and see if we can do that. Lately it's been hard to get her out of the house but we keep trying. I just think if she got out more it would help her. she has really long days filled with nothing to do.
Diana

In August I asked about Senior Day Care. Frank wasn't interested so I put the info away. We saw his Psy.on Saturday and he strongly suggest to have Frank go. We have an appointment on Monday, I haven't told Frank about it yet, I think we'll just go and fill out the paper work. One of his meds has been increased and has made life a bit less stressful, he has more trouble getting his thoughts together and out, most of the time he doesn't make any sense. He doesn't have as many hallucinations and he still has delusions but doesn't dwell on them.
He just doesn't get Christmas, he asked me to get the boxes and he would take the tree down. Daily he asked if it's over yet, we have stickers on the calendar and I showed him how many days before the kids come for dinner and gifts. Just another day and soon another year.

Take Care,
Gerry

My Bob started at a senior day care facility a few months ago, just one day a week. If I had asked outright he would have said no, but I asked him to try it for a month, and he didn't have to go back if he didn't like it. Now it's routine and there's no issue of not going. He's got them convinced that they have to have pasta on Fridays when he's there, which they have done, and loves going for the lunch. In the meantime it's a day off for me and I can get a lot done, including some dental work I'd been putting off for too long.

It's now been about three months, and in that time he's declined to the next level of service, since someone must be with him for every transition to chair and to bathroom. It's a benchmark I don't welcome.

Good for you, sanfrett! High 5!

In our case, Mom didn't have a choice. It was either day care or nursing home. She opted for day care.

If I ask her straight out what she thinks of it, I hear "they're all old there." She's 87. But she seems to be enjoying herself when we pick her up and has even once told me that she needed to go to "work" (what she has called day care).

Gerry, can I suggest that you try a couple of days a week? It might make things more routine. Mom has trouble with "week" in the concept of time. Does Frank, too? If so, every other day might be easier for him, and for you, too. Don't feel that you have to fill up your "days off" with errands and such. What I wouldn't give for a quiet afternoon in my living room, curled up with a good book - one that has nothing to do with dementia! You deserve at least as much.