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 How can the VA be so heartless? 
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3125
Location: Vermont
Post How can the VA be so heartless?
Just when I am hoping that life will be less stressful, I get a letter from the VA stating that I need to repay my dad's last VA disability check. He was disabled (10% disability) in WW2. His checks are MINIMAL but I have used them towards his care. Because he died during November (2:40 PM on Nov. 30), they say he is not entitled to a disability check for November. Personally, even if the check were for $5 I find this outrageous and disrespectful. For a man who proudly served his country TWICE, in 2 wars, to have his final check taken back is just plain immoral. He lived 98.666% of the month, but that's not good enough for the VA. God help today's widows and dependent-aged children of veterans. Steaming in cold Vermont, Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sat Dec 18, 2010 6:19 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3179
Location: WA
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
I would be steaming, too, Lynn! He died on the last day of the month and you have to pay them back? Ridiculous!

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Dec 18, 2010 6:21 pm
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Social Security works the same way. They did go back into my dad's bank account and took out the last check they had sent him.


Sat Dec 18, 2010 6:25 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3125
Location: Vermont
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
The VA and SS both put in and then took out his Dec. checks, which I understand. In fact, I contacted them both before they took the Dec. $ out, to tell them he had died 11/30. But to take away a monthly check for the 9 hours and 20 min. he wasn't alive in the month?! That is beyond ridiculous.
If I pay them back for the 9 hours and 20 minutes he wasn't alive in Nov., minus the 44-cent stamp, they will be getting a check for $1.19 from his estate! And, letters to my congressmen who are fighting for better veterans benefits are on their way! Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sat Dec 18, 2010 6:29 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
We had the same experience with our mother's social security check, Robin. :cry:

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Sat Dec 18, 2010 7:09 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Lynn,
This is terrible and I don't understand it, I received Jim's meds while he was in hospice and we never opened them and after he died I called and wanted to return them , they told me they couldn't take them back to just dispose of them which the hospice nurse did and several months later I contacted the VA because I never received a final bill for the meds and was told there would be no bill as a Thank you for his service, so how could things have changed so much in a few yrs? With your Dad passing just hours before the new month I think it's terrible!

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Irene Selak


Sat Dec 18, 2010 10:28 pm
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Joined: Tue Feb 23, 2010 10:32 am
Posts: 215
Location: Kalispell, MT
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Lynn:

Heartless is just a synonym for Bureaucracy.

Don't just write your Congressman with a complaint, call his/her office and ask if they can help you. And follow up. Most federal agencies fear what is called "a Congressional," an inquiry about how a constituent is being treated, although that may not be true for such agencies as SS, VA, Medicare, etc. Worth a try.

Gail


Sun Dec 19, 2010 3:04 am
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Joined: Tue Aug 17, 2010 9:20 am
Posts: 184
Location: So Cal
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Lynn, I am so sorry for this ultimate slap-in-the-face to you and your dad. Talk about adding insult to injury. Isn't there a human involved somewhere in the 'system' who may actually have a clue of what a loved one of a recently deceased person has gone through? Take a deep breath and accept a big cyber-hug from me, you'll get through this, too! HUGS! Sher

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Sher (53) married 29 years to Ken (66) who was diagnosed with LBD in 2008, but it most likely began many years before.


Sun Dec 19, 2010 8:52 am
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3125
Location: Vermont
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Thanks for your support! When you request something fromt the VA, like money for Aid & Attendance, they take their sweet time getting back to you (5 months for me to hear from them about getting $ for my dad - answer was NO) but when they want you to pay them, they are right on it. It took them 3 or 4 days from the time he died to take the Dec. $ right out of his checking account. Do they think the ALF didn't charge us for the whole month because he died on Nov. 30th? Or his CNP? Or the pharmacy and other Nov. expenses? Heck no, all our bills are paid, as they should be.
As a friend of mine who works for the VA says "they have their formulas, and their form letters. No one looks at the human side of things." No kidding......
Someone suggested I write about this incident to the newspaper. Might as well give that a try! Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sun Dec 19, 2010 12:33 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3125
Location: Vermont
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
You all were right! Social Security did the same thing! My dad lived 98.66666% of Nov. but they both want "their" money back for the whole month. Did the ALF give us a $5,200 refund because he died 9 hr. and 20 min. before the end of the month? Of course not! Did the pharmacy, CNPs, doctors, cable tv or anyone else cancel November bills? No.
But, the VA and SS say he shouldn't be entitled to a dime for the entire month. It's disgraceful. I've called them both and they say "that's the law". I have called my congressman and they are working on it. Those agencies hate congressional inquiries so let's see what happens......
BTW, I heard that SS pays about $250 towards burial expenses. Does anyone know anything about that? They have not done so for my dad, not that $250 is much..... Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Dec 22, 2010 5:09 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Yes their big whooping 250.00, it will be deposited into the same account that his SS checks went to! But............Only if it wasn't collected for your Mom when she passed. Only one spouse is entitled to it !! How do you like that ??

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Irene Selak


Wed Dec 22, 2010 6:24 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3125
Location: Vermont
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Oh - that's just so logical, isn't it? $250 for one person's burial expenses which are in the thousands, and the other one gets nothing towards their thousands of dollars of funeral expenses. Yep, that makes so much sense. (sorry for the sarcasm) How did we create such illogical and inhumane bureaucracies in the US of A? Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Dec 22, 2010 6:29 pm
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Honestly Lynn,
I am thinking back to my parents when they passed some 13 yrs apart, I believe they automaticly deposited into the account when my Dad passed and they never asked if we wanted it and by the time my Mom passed just 4.5 yrs ago with very little life insurance where it could have been used more it was not there and thats when I found out only 1 spouse gets it,
I was lucky as there was monies from Jim's passing to bury my mom 6 months later or I would still be paying for it !!

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Irene Selak


Wed Dec 22, 2010 6:36 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3125
Location: Vermont
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
That is awful Irene. I'm thinking that preplanning and prepaying for our own funerals is a good idea. I used to think it was weird but now I think it's a gift for our children and others who would have to take care of all this stuff (and pay for it possibly).

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:32 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: How can the VA be so heartless?
Our kids know we want cremation. It's a lot cheaper.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Wed Dec 22, 2010 10:35 pm
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