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 "Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery 
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Joined: Fri Aug 11, 2006 1:46 pm
Posts: 4811
Location: SF Bay Area (Northern CA)
Post "Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery
A post about the book "Gone Mad: Dementia, Family Treachery, and Legal Insanity" was made today to the LBDcaregivers Yahoo!Group. Book author Carol Pendergrass's husband had Lewy Body Dementia. There are at least two sources of online info on the book:

* gonemadbook.wordpress.com/ - "The Official Blog of Carol Pendergrass"
* GoneMadTheBook.com - The book's website

I've copied below a post made on 9/1/10 to Carol's blog. It's a very sad story.

Robin



http://gonemadbook.wordpress.com/

Our Story
September 1, 2010

Our marriage of eighteen years was a second marriage for both of us; a marriage that we felt was about as perfect as we could hope for. When we married, we both had adult children, and soon we had eleven grandchildren. We built a family together that we were proud of and a life that we enjoyed which revolved around our family.

My husband had been experiencing troublesome physical ailments for several years for which doctors could find no diagnosis. In 2004, on the verge of a massive heart attack, my husband had quintuple by-pass heart surgery. Although he healed physically, he began a journey rife with hallucinations, delusions and psychosis, gradually worsening over the next few years. As his cognitive abilities gave way to dementia, his children worked diligently with me to find a diagnosis, and hopefully, a cure.

I was forced to take over my husband’s business while I kept my business going and cared for him as he became home bound. My husband became so lost in his dementia that he rarely knew who I was or where his home was. His children reacted to his confusion and delusions with a totally unexpected and bizarre act by suddenly taking him out of our home and severing all contact with me. In the first two days they took him into our banks and withdrew the money from our bank accounts, leaving me with over drawn accounts and all of our debts. They would not talk to me even to explain why they had taken him or what their intentions were. I was not allowed to know which doctors he was seeing or what his medical condition was. They took control of him and everything of ours that they could get their hands on, even attempting to bring about a suit for divorce.

After one month, they returned my husband to our home without explanation. He was terribly ill. We constantly contended with sleeplessness, pain and violence. They had changed doctors and medications, and although my relief was great to have him back with me, I soon learned I was not physically able to take care of him. I was left with few choices as they had tied my hands financially by taking our money. The book then takes the reader on our journey through the psyche wards, hospitals and the behavior of the demented.

Two of my husband’s children are attorneys. After his first return to our home, they filed the first of three lawsuits which they would eventually bring against me. First they filed for full control of my husband and of all of our property and assets; they filed for ownership of our real property including our home; and finally they filed a civil suit against me claiming that I had caused my husband’s illness and had in fact attempted to kill him.

My husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in the spring of 2007. LBD is relatively unknown (although becoming quite common), and when diagnosed, very difficult to treat. Medications do not have the same effect on the brain as with other dementias, and in fact have a violent, adverse effect in many cases. Lewy Body Dementia is discussed openly and honestly. It robbed my husband of his mind and his life, and his children robbed me of mine. In May of 2007, with four policemen and an “ex parte order” from a judge, his children forcibly removed him again from our home and severed our relationship. During the ensuing months, as the lawsuits proceeded, he was moved from hospitals to nursing homes. Under strict supervision by his children, I was allowed to see him two hours per weekday.

My husband died in May 2008. His family continued their vendetta against me by excluding me from the funeral. “The shrouded coffin was taken without a word out the back door of the mortuary. My husband’s body was put in a hearse and taken forever away from me to be put in the ground in the dark red dirt of Oklahoma. I was not invited. The graveside service would be their reward and the fulfillment of all their actions; separation from his wife forever.” (excerpt from page 226)

This book is a roller coaster ride of emotions and events. I take the reader with me as I fight for my rightful place beside my husband, to maintain our love, honor, and dignity. The book tells how with God’s help, and the love and support of my family and friends, I came through this experience. Through my journey I learned there are ways to protect myself and my assets against outside forces, and I share that knowledge in GONE MAD.


Sat Nov 13, 2010 11:09 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3396
Location: Vermont
Post Re: "Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery
Wow - that sounds about as depressing as I can imagine! This poor woman! She must be very strong to have fought back against her husband's vindictive and selfish children. I hope it all turned out ok. Lynn

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Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Sat Nov 13, 2010 11:28 pm
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Joined: Sat Oct 06, 2007 4:28 pm
Posts: 743
Location: LA
Post Re: "Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery
Some might think this is fiction. I believe every word of it! And once again the familiar refrain; "... my husband had quintuple by-pass heart surgery. Although he healed physically, he began a journey rife with hallucinations, delusions and psychosis, gradually worsening over the next few years." So sad. [Sure, blame it on the second wife. She did it.]

Dorthea

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"See this lady she's 85 but she's nice" When I joined in 2007 this is the way Mr B. introduced me to the people only he knew,he added "You need to listen to her" he was 89 then, death due to Lewy Body Dementia/pneumonia in 2009.


Sat Nov 13, 2010 11:38 pm
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Joined: Wed Dec 30, 2009 1:46 pm
Posts: 3213
Location: WA
Post Re: "Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery
What a horrible experience. Doesn't sound like a book I'd like to read... :shock:

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Pat [68] married to Derek [84] for 38 years; husband dx PDD/LBD 2005, probably began 2002 or earlier; late stage and in a SNF as of January 2011. Hospitalized 11/2/2013 and discharged to home Hospice. Passed away at home on 11/9/2013.


Sat Nov 13, 2010 11:54 pm
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Joined: Wed Oct 28, 2009 11:53 am
Posts: 969
Location: Ocala, FL
Post Re: "Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery
Yes, Pat... Too painful to read. Too close to home in many ways.

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Leone Carroll (75); wife of Dale (75) who passed away March 23, 2011


Sun Nov 14, 2010 7:02 am
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Joined: Sun Oct 21, 2007 4:18 pm
Posts: 835
Location: Acton, MA
Post Re: "Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery
I can't believe that his children were able to legally remove him, I guess with two of them being lawyers, it would take the wind out of your sail. I believe "what goes around, comes around", they will have to answer for their actions at some point in their lifetime.

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Gerry 67, cared for Frank 71, married 49 yrs; dx 2004, passed away October 26, 2011.


Sun Nov 14, 2010 8:05 am
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Joined: Sat Jan 03, 2009 2:59 pm
Posts: 1978
Post Re: "Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery
I believe it! There is a woman on one of the support groups that went through something similar and I think it happens more than any of realize !

The disease is sad enough without having to deal with all the other drama that the children inflicked upon them.

I am so thankful for just one marriage.n fact when we had our 4th children some yrs later ,and people would ask if it was a second marriage !

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Irene Selak


Sun Nov 14, 2010 5:03 pm
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