"Gone Mad" - book about LBD and family treachery
A post about the book "Gone Mad: Dementia, Family Treachery, and Legal Insanity" was made today to the LBDcaregivers Yahoo!Group. Book author Carol Pendergrass's husband had Lewy Body Dementia. There are at least two sources of online info on the book:
* gonemadbook.wordpress.com/ - "The Official Blog of Carol Pendergrass"
* GoneMadTheBook.com - The book's website
I've copied below a post made on 9/1/10 to Carol's blog. It's a very sad story.
September 1, 2010
Our marriage of eighteen years was a second marriage for both of us; a marriage that we felt was about as perfect as we could hope for. When we married, we both had adult children, and soon we had eleven grandchildren. We built a family together that we were proud of and a life that we enjoyed which revolved around our family.
My husband had been experiencing troublesome physical ailments for several years for which doctors could find no diagnosis. In 2004, on the verge of a massive heart attack, my husband had quintuple by-pass heart surgery. Although he healed physically, he began a journey rife with hallucinations, delusions and psychosis, gradually worsening over the next few years. As his cognitive abilities gave way to dementia, his children worked diligently with me to find a diagnosis, and hopefully, a cure.
I was forced to take over my husbandâs business while I kept my business going and cared for him as he became home bound. My husband became so lost in his dementia that he rarely knew who I was or where his home was. His children reacted to his confusion and delusions with a totally unexpected and bizarre act by suddenly taking him out of our home and severing all contact with me. In the first two days they took him into our banks and withdrew the money from our bank accounts, leaving me with over drawn accounts and all of our debts. They would not talk to me even to explain why they had taken him or what their intentions were. I was not allowed to know which doctors he was seeing or what his medical condition was. They took control of him and everything of ours that they could get their hands on, even attempting to bring about a suit for divorce.
After one month, they returned my husband to our home without explanation. He was terribly ill. We constantly contended with sleeplessness, pain and violence. They had changed doctors and medications, and although my relief was great to have him back with me, I soon learned I was not physically able to take care of him. I was left with few choices as they had tied my hands financially by taking our money. The book then takes the reader on our journey through the psyche wards, hospitals and the behavior of the demented.
Two of my husbandâs children are attorneys. After his first return to our home, they filed the first of three lawsuits which they would eventually bring against me. First they filed for full control of my husband and of all of our property and assets; they filed for ownership of our real property including our home; and finally they filed a civil suit against me claiming that I had caused my husbandâs illness and had in fact attempted to kill him.
My husband was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia in the spring of 2007. LBD is relatively unknown (although becoming quite common), and when diagnosed, very difficult to treat. Medications do not have the same effect on the brain as with other dementias, and in fact have a violent, adverse effect in many cases. Lewy Body Dementia is discussed openly and honestly. It robbed my husband of his mind and his life, and his children robbed me of mine. In May of 2007, with four policemen and an âex parte orderâ from a judge, his children forcibly removed him again from our home and severed our relationship. During the ensuing months, as the lawsuits proceeded, he was moved from hospitals to nursing homes. Under strict supervision by his children, I was allowed to see him two hours per weekday.
My husband died in May 2008. His family continued their vendetta against me by excluding me from the funeral. âThe shrouded coffin was taken without a word out the back door of the mortuary. My husbandâs body was put in a hearse and taken forever away from me to be put in the ground in the dark red dirt of Oklahoma. I was not invited. The graveside service would be their reward and the fulfillment of all their actions; separation from his wife forever.â (excerpt from page 226)
This book is a roller coaster ride of emotions and events. I take the reader with me as I fight for my rightful place beside my husband, to maintain our love, honor, and dignity. The book tells how with Godâs help, and the love and support of my family and friends, I came through this experience. Through my journey I learned there are ways to protect myself and my assets against outside forces, and I share that knowledge in GONE MAD.