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 I'm new here..... looking for advice. 
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Joined: Sun Mar 02, 2014 4:56 pm
Posts: 1
Post I'm new here..... looking for advice.
Hello all,

My dad is 86 years old and in the past 10 weeks has gone into a monumental, severe rapid decline, now sleeping 22 hours plus each day.

He was diagnosed with dementia some 5 years ago and since mum died, I have taken care of my dad for the past 2 years, taking charge of everything, from food medication, domestic stuff.... well, you all know.

Up until 18 December, he was able to live alone -with me visiting at least 3 times a day and bringing him home to me for dinner every day. He was able to function well with no responsibility, able to walk, talk, eat etc. For the month prior to that, he was hit with infection after infection (UTI and chest) and as soon as ABs stopped, the confusion and delerium would come back, big time. He was admitted to hospital after what appeared to be a fall and went into an almost immediate decline from then on. Almost overnight he became literally a baby, having to be fed and changed, he cannot speak or walk any more. He was in hospital for about 8 weeks and after testing for many things, basically it was dementia that kicked in big time and they could do no more.

He has recently been admitted to a nursing home and all I have been told is that the prognosis isn't good and that they are just making him comfortable. I have asked the question, is he dying, but they cannot and will not say, as they don't know him.

After sleeping all day, last night's typical visit was waking dad where I would feed him puree, he ate with massive encouragement from me, barely with his eyes open and then crashed to sleep straight after. His juice has to have thickener now as he cannot swallow quick enough. He will have the odd day, where he awake briefly for my visit, but shows little interest.

I have read that having this amount of sleep means dads in the late stages, but what does that mean?

Can anyone give me any idea of what we can expect. I'm not sure he recognises me anymore and sometimes, when I'm feeding him he has tears in his eyes. Don't get me wrong, but the nursing home is lovely and he appears to be comfortable, for what it's worth. It is hard to say this, but death would be kinder.


Wed Mar 05, 2014 5:48 am
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Joined: Mon Nov 25, 2013 7:33 pm
Posts: 44
Location: Pennsylvania
Post Re: I'm new here..... looking for advice.
I am sorry that you and your dad are having this experience. Does the nursing home have hospice services available? If so, it sounds like your dad would be a candidate. Following their assessment, they would be able to give you more insight into what you can expect. Your dad is lucky to have you. God bless.

_________________
Marian, daughter of mom [82] diagnosed with LBD November 2013 after 7 years of a textbook course of this disease. Passed on January 26, 2014 following a week of home hospice care.


Wed Mar 05, 2014 9:32 pm
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Joined: Sat May 25, 2013 3:53 pm
Posts: 275
Post Re: I'm new here..... looking for advice.
Hi Sharon,
I agree. It sounds like talking to Hospice would be a good idea. It does sound like my Mom in the hospice with the thickened liquid, lots of sleep and not wanting to eat. It's such a difficult time. Stay strong!

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Gail, Forum Moderator & daughter of Doris who passed away Dec. 2010 after living with LBD for 7 years.


Thu Mar 06, 2014 12:23 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3396
Location: Vermont
Post Re: I'm new here..... looking for advice.
I also agree that hospice would probably take him on as a patient, given the info. you have provided. My dad experienced the same sort of horrific, overnight decline. If he is sleeping most of the time, barely eating or drinking, it sounds like what hospice would say is "final stage", which can last weeks or days, but you should get them in for an evaluation and they can give you a better idea. Good luck, and I know what you mean about death being kinder than living like this. I felt that way about my poor dad for many months. Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Thu Mar 20, 2014 4:14 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3396
Location: Vermont
Post Re: I'm new here..... looking for advice.
I also agree that hospice would probably take him on as a patient, given the info. you have provided. My dad experienced the same sort of horrific, overnight decline. If he is sleeping most of the time, barely eating or drinking, it sounds like what hospice would say is "final stage", which can last weeks or days, but you should get them in for an evaluation and they can give you a better idea. Good luck, and I know what you mean about death being kinder than living like this. I felt that way about my poor dad for many months. Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Thu Mar 20, 2014 4:14 pm
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Joined: Fri Jan 15, 2010 9:33 pm
Posts: 3396
Location: Vermont
Post Re: I'm new here..... looking for advice.
I also agree that hospice would probably take him on as a patient, given the info. you have provided. My dad experienced the same sort of horrific, overnight decline. If he is sleeping most of the time, barely eating or drinking, it sounds like what hospice would say is "final stage", which can last weeks or days, but you should get them in for an evaluation and they can give you a better idea. Good luck, and I know what you mean about death being kinder than living like this. I felt that way about my poor dad for many months. Lynn

_________________
Lynn, daughter of 89 year old dad dx with possiblity of LBD, CBD, PSP, FTD, ALS, Vascular Dementia, AD, etc., died Nov. 30, 2010 after living in ALF for 18 months.


Thu Mar 20, 2014 4:14 pm
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